I recently met this young girl who had just gotten engaged. As normally is the case, she was ‘in love’. We women seem to be so giving…. We give everything to the one we love… Our identity, our very existence…but what do we get in return? I wish luck to all those hopefuls out there but does love really beget love?

Brought up on the traditional stories of knight in the shining armour served with enough garnish to last for a life time, girls look for that prince in every ‘suitable boy’ that they meet. They may work while they wait for the handsome prince to make an appearance, but the real gratification is about ‘finding that special some one’.  That someone perhaps is blissfully unaware of the monumental expectations that ‘this someone’ has set for him and he carries his own list which most of the times clearly outlines how his ‘princess’ should be. Lets have a look at these lists…

Princess

1. Should be handsome
2. Should completely love me
3. Should completely understand me
4. Should come running at my beck and call
5. Should take care of my parents
6. Should take me out for dinners, outings etc
7. Should have a house help so that I don’t have to do all the work..etc
8. Should let me work

Prince

1. Should be very beautiful and slim
2. Should completely love me
3. Should completely understand me like my mother
4. Should come running at my beck and call
5. Should not pester me to come home early
6. Should take care of my parents and enjoy their company more than mine
7. Should not call me when I am out with my friends having fun
8. Should keep my almirahs, clothes and everything else perfectly
9. Should cook like my mother and be as tolerant as my mother
10. Should completely forget her parents and only remember mine
11. Should not try to change me or my habits
12. Should or can work but should also take care of the household

This list is just an example of the many varied lists that people in love have. Most of the times, both of them don’t meet each other’s expectations. The resulting conflict helps them to revisit the lists many fights later and reconcile. However, these days the lists are so different that it just leads to a breakup in most cases.

Understanding and maturity develops with time. However, most of times, it is the girl who is asked to have patience and show maturity while the boy takes time to understand that he is now a married man and must go home to his wife and not galavant with his friends. If the girl gets upset the mother-in-law regales her with tales of how her father-in-law also took time to become a married man.

My question is why is the girl supposed to or expected to adjust to her newly found status of a married woman from the very beginning and the boy is allowed to take as much time as he wants? Most of the couples these days have little or no age difference. So, why are girls expected to give so much?