It is said that driving liberates a woman. But does it really? Driving on the winding roads of Rajasthan makes one realize that there is more to driving than what meets the eye. It makes you independent and takes you places- literally.
‘Mummy, please be careful. There is a truck ahead of you!’
‘Beta, thanks but please stop backseat driving. I can see the truck!’
The phone rang. ‘Hello, where have you reached?’
‘Papa, we have just crossed a board which says Rajgarh is about 100 km. We will be there in by 9 pm.’
Beta, shall I send some one to guide you through the route?’
‘Don’t worry papa, we will manage.’
I disconnected the call and took a deep breath. ‘I can do it!’ I whispered silently as I navigated my car in the fast moving traffic of the national highway. This was the first time I was driving on a highway in the night and my dad like all dads was worried. I am not new to the roads of Rajasthan. I have been driving for the last decade and a half. Incidently when my father told her about my trip, my mom was not worried. She simply said, ‘She should learn to do everything on her own. It is about time.’
However, like most women in India, learning to drive wasn’t a piece of cake. Before my marriage, I used to drive a scooty but my parents were constantly worried that I may hurt my self. Once, after my marriage had been fixed, I had an accident with my scooty and my parents were petrified of explaining the bruises on my hands and face.
My brother on the other hand has been driving ever since he was legally allowed to drive. He has had accidents, banged up his car at one point or the other but no one actually stopped him from driving. I, on the other hand was a different matter.
But then time passed and as a single mother I had no choice but to learn driving. Some decades ago, my father (now a retired army officer) was posted at Lucknow and I was living with him, I used to learn driving from a fauji driver. For hours, I would drive an old Maruti 800 (our family’s first car) on the winding roads of Lucknow while he would patiently sit on the co driver’s seat and give me tips on how to deal with different situations while driving.
My father on the other hand was a different story. Once, after a lot of cajoling he agreed to sit on the codriver’s seat while I drove the car. The moment he would see a vehicle coming he would tense up and ask me to slow down (not that I was driving fast!). The vehicle would pass without any incident and my father would heave a sigh of relief. I have always wondered why despite my careful driving, it has taken my father years to confidently sit on the front seat while I drive while he never had the same fear with my brother.
But this time it was different. I was determined to drive my car on my own to the village. The idea of driving to the village occurred to me out of the blue. It was a week end and for me it was the perfect way to prove my driving mettle in front of my family. So, in an hour, at about 1 pm, my daughter (who was very excited about the idea) and me packed up our rucksacks and with our two dogs set out for the village.
I had called up my father and told him of our plan. He said, ‘please don’t do this beta. I will be very worried till you don’t reach! Don’t put me in such a stress.’
‘Papa, don’t worry. I will reach safe and sound. Besides if my brother can do it, why can’t I??’
‘You have your daughter with you. I wouldn’t have bothered if you were coming alone.’
‘No Papa. I will come on my own because this is something I need to do for myself and my daughter. Don’t worry.’
‘That’s the issue beta. I will be worried.’
Normally, such a statement from my father would have stopped me in my tracks. But this time I wanted to prove it to him that I can do anything I set my mind to.
We set out at about 1 pm. It was a sunny day with no trace of clouds. The plan was simple. We would drive down to my village Leelki, near Sadulpur (Rajgarh) which was about 300 km from Jaipur. On the way, we would only stop at Rashidhpura, a place famous for its hot piping tea and kachoris.
The stereo belted out John Denver’s famous number ‘Country roads take me home’ as I drove along the long winding roads. For me, it was a life event because at 40 something I was finally driving on my own on a highway.
To be honest, I was a bit scared because I had heard many stories, read books and watched movies about how miscreants were always on the look out for women travelling alone on the highway. My daughter and I had decided to keep a very low profile. We both had worn simple jeans and shirts with black caps on our heads. We reached Rashidpura at about 4 pm. Fortunately there weren’t many people in the restaurant. We quickly let out the dogs for a much needed stroll while I sipped on the tea (which revved me up for another long stretch of driving), got some kachoris packed and we were soon on our way.
It is only when you drive that you start appreciating the roads of India. Smooth and undulating, they go on for miles while farms, dunes pass by on the side. I didn’t encounter much traffic at the time, so the drive was smooth as the songs played on the radio and we sang along with them.
Soon the sun set and it became dark. It was then I realized why my dad was so worried. Unlike the city where you have street lamps on almost every road, the highways in Rajasthan are not lit at all. On a moonless night, there is nothing to show you the way ahead, not even the reflectors that are generally embedded on the sides of the roads. So, if one is not careful, there is a good chance that you can drive off the road. If that happens, you are on your own and God’s good humour.
Though the lack of light was a deterrent, I was in no mood to drive fast. I drove at a steady speed of 70 km per hour. Though there were trucks ahead of me, I did not attempt to overtake them unless until absolutely required. After all, we can all peacefully coexist and drive to our destinations in our own sweet time.
There is a distinct difference in driving in the bright sunlight and driving at the night. In the day, you can see everything around and ahead of you. You can plan for the route ahead and you don’t have to worry about bumping into a bullock cart or a donkey standing on the side of the road (especially things that don’t have lights on them). You can activate the cruise feature on your car that keeps your speed steady if the road is clear and smooth. However, as soon as it becomes dark, the landscape changes and resembles that of an alien planet. Things are not what they seem in the night. A small bullock cart travelling at the speed of about 5 km per hour has the power to completely disarm your excellent and careful driving.
But then, all said and done, there is something hypnotising too about driving at night. Driving under the stars or the moon (if you are lucky) felt like a dream to me. At times I almost felt as if I would wake up and find myself sleeping in my bed. I glanced at my daughter, she had fallen asleep and so had the dogs.
All this while we were in touch my father, who was busy tracking our progress through Google’s live location (thank God for technology).
As we came closer to our destination, I felt more confident and powerful. What is it about driving that makes you feel so empowered? I remembered a conversation that I had with my friend Sheeba Parambil who is the city chief for Sakha Cabs in Jaipur, a cab service which only has women drivers. I was talking to her about how people keep saying that driving liberates a woman. She said, ‘I agree. It actually does. In fact, I would say that driving liberates a women much more than what education does. With education, you get financial liberation but with driving you get liberated emotionally and mentally. In fact, many of our cab drivers are girls who were earlier not allowed to step outside their homes but when their circumstances forced them to earn money, they took up driving . Today, they can go anywhere. Now they have become so adept at driving that their families don’t even bother when they set out for work and stay away from home for days at a stretch.’
I reached my village at about 10 pm much to my father’s relief. The next day, the word spread that I had driven all the way from Jaipur. For many women and girls, it was an achievement of sorts. They came to meet me and marvel at the feat while I kept wondering why was it such a big deal!
This article by Shailaza Singh was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 27 November 2023
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