Category: New Novel by Shailaza Singh

  • An Open Letter To All the Daughters and Sons of India- Please Read!

    An Open Letter To All the Daughters and Sons of India- Please Read!

    For representational purposes only

    Dear daughters and sons of India,

                                                   Greetings! I am a daughter of this country, the way you are. Today, I am writing this letter to you to help you realize some very important blatant truths. These will set you free!

    Do you know what those are?

    The truth is that you are not born to be married. Actually no man or woman is born to be just married. Getting married will be the worst decision of your life if you don’t do it for the right reasons!

    The truth is your parents should not spend their hard earned money on organizing a grand marriage celebration for you just because they want to please the relatives or even you for that matter!

    The truth is you are not born to find your prince or princess charming and live happily ever after. There is no person who will rescue you from your problems and set things right. Marriage is not to find a maid or a knight who will solve all your problems and listen to all your nonsense.

    The truth is there is no person on this planet who is your perfect soul mate, who was born just for you and who will understand you better than you understand yourself and will love you just the way you are. People spend lives confused about themselves; they are unable to know what they want; how do you expect them to understand you?

    Even if you are marrying a guy or a girl you’ve dated for 10 years, trust me he or she will not change, so don’t try to change him or her . He or she will change in his or her own time. Marriage does not mean the rebirth or rewiring or reincarnation of person!

    The truth is even if your features are perfect, you have an enviable figure, or you are tall. dark and handsome and adored by millions, there are chances that your marriage or relationship may not survive and your husband or wife may not live up to your expectations or vice versa. Having expectations in a marriage ends the game before it has even started!

    Your mother-in-law is not your mother and will never be.

    Hold it!

    Before you just shrug your shoulders or wonder what kind of a mad woman is saying this, let me explain my point of view.

    1. Girls, you were not born to be married: In the olden days, marriage was about security. You see it was a very male dominated society, where men could do whatever they wanted. So, in order to save the women from all kinds of pitiable fate, the law makers decided to make a new law. Women who were married to men had to wear some kind of a mark on them for people to recognize them as married. These married women were the property of the men they were married to and no other man could look at them. In that society, so long the girl was unmarried, she was not safe from lecherous advances of men. So, the parents decided that marriage was the safest option for their daughters. Today, we live in better times (relatively).  Most girls can earn and fend for themselves. Most girls know how to defend themselves. So, you don’t have to get married just because the society is telling you to or your parents are telling you to.
    2. In the early days when parents married their daughters off to these men, they also had to express their gratefulness by gifting them wealth. Since the girl was not educated and ensuring her needs are met was her husband’s responsibility, this wealth was also considered as a means of sharing the burden. However, today men and women can earn their bread and butter and earn their own money and create their own lives. So don’t let your parents spend their hard earned money on a lavish marriage or lavish gifts.
    3. Marriage should not be about compulsion. Marriage should be about choice. You don’t have to get married but you choose to get married. However, even if you choose to get married, be under no illusion. Prince Charming or princess perfect does not exist. The person you will get married to will have his or her own problems, will in all probability not understand you most of the times (unless he or she has been transported from planet Perfect which is located in Goodness Knows Where galaxy). So do not expect him or her to solve your problems. You both can work on solving problems together but marriage is not a one man show. Both husband and wife have to work together.
    4. Husband is not a soul mate or any mate, not for the first few years anyways and same is the case with you. If you are very lucky, then you are an anomaly and we are not talking about you. Your husband will not love you the way you are, not initially. He will get used to the way you are. The more you spend time together, have patience, the more you will get to know each other and understand each other. However, there are plenty of friends you can hang out with rather than pressurizing your spouse to spend their time with you.
    5. These days marriages don’t really survive unless you want it to thrive and are willing to work without your mobile and laptop and with your partner! You may do your best, your husband or wife may be a great person but still marriages break because of stress, constant problems and more. So, quit having expectations. Marriage can only survive with loads of patience and love..
    6. A mother-in-law can never be a mother. Do not confide in her excessively. As of now, with your entry into her life, she is insecure about her position in her son’s or daughter’s life and can use anything to show him or her that she is more bothered about him or her than you are. However, please treat her kindly and nicely.
    7. You’ve known this guy or girl for so many years (unless it was a quickly arranged marriage). After marriage, he or she is the same way; irritable, irrational and forever upset. Let me ask you this…will you change? Did you change? How can he change overnight! So don’t expect him to change.
    8. NEVER EVER MARRY AN ALCOHOLIC! THAT DOESN’T WORK DESPITE YOUR BEST INTENTIONS!
    9. DON’T TRY TO RESCUE MEN OR WOMEN OR FIX THEIR LIVES BY MARRYING THEM AND THEN EXPECT THEM TO BE GRATEFUL TO YOU AND WAIT ON YOU HAND AND FOOT!
    10. Mistakes can happen. If you made a wrong choice, do not make it the second time. It is okay to be alone till you do not find someone who is worthwhile.
    11. Men or their families are not evil or bad. Just like you, they have their own problems and challenges. Just because they don’t agree with you or understand you doesn’t make the villains of your life!

    Remember!!!!

    No marriage is perfect.

    Everyone is struggling.

    Patience is very important.

    Control your expectations. Be fair.

    Please don’t get married because you have to get married. Your parents may be forcing you today but if you do not agree, they will eventually come around. Marriage is not a solution to loneliness, sometimes people are more lonely after marriage.

    Please get married if you choose to be together. And this choice has to be made everyday because humans are not monogamous by genetics. It is an enforced, conditioned behavior which becomes a part of us over a period of time.

    Marriage is a very small part of life girls. Don’t make it such a big part or the only part of your lives that you stop living life itself!

    Do think about it!

    Warm Regards,

    Shailaza

    #faith_the_mystery_of_the _missing_girl

    #novel_by_shailaza_singh

  • Small Interactions that Change Lives

    Read and Written

    Yesterday, I was browsing through my old messages on Facebook. One of these messages was from an actor. I had liked his work and had written a message complimenting him about the work. He wrote back saying that he was looking for some scripts. At that time ( ten years ago), I had not thought about writing anything of my own though as a journalist, I was writing for newspapers etc.

    The interesting bit was that his query was quite a general one. But at that time, I percieved it as an inspiration. I ended up writing my first novel . The protagonist in my novel was given his first name. Oddly, the communication stopped after that message. Probably because the interaction had served its purpose and the message had been delivered.

    The result of this interaction was that my novel Faith- The Mystery Of The Missing Girl, was published and those who read it loved it. And it all started because of this little conversation on Facebook.

    Come to think of it, we meet so many people in our lives. People who are not related to us or will never even be a part of our lives. They work like catalysts- a word, a spark or a trigger speeds up the reaction but they are never the part of the reaction. They become the messengers from the universe delivering the right message to the right person at the right time.

    All of us become messengers for other people. You don’t have to be an actor or a celebrity or someone known to impact a stranger’s life. You may even never realize the role your actions or words or even a smile played in completely changing some one’s life and perhaps you will never even know. Or maybe none of us need to know! Perhaps this is what synchronicity is all about.

    What do you think? Has something like this happened with you? Please share in the comments section!

  • ‘Don’t search for me. I do not matter,’ Faith tells her mother.

    ‘Don’t search for me. I do not matter,’ Faith tells her mother.

    Shirin has a dream where Faith talks to her and tells her not to search for her because she does not matter to anyone.

     

    ‘Faith,’ Shirin whispered as she looked at her. Faith was wearing her wedding dress. ‘Yes Ma, it is me and I have come to tell you something. I know you’ve been so worried about me. You’ve left everything behind just to find me. Your husband and mother-in-law are upset with you. Why are you going to such a lot of trouble for a person nobody remembers or even bothers about? 

    Who am I? To you, I am your daughter, but for the world, I am a nobody. They forgot me the moment I got married. To them, I am not even a tiny, momentary speck in this indifferent universe. My existence does not matter to anyone. So, why worry so much about some body like me? 

    You have spent days looking for me in this hot and dry desert. Even if you are able to find me and bring me home, what will happen? My father will berate me, my grand mother will keep telling cursing my existence because she feels that I am a liability that needs to be protected from this cruel world. 

    As a girl, it does not matter that I can work and earn on my own. It is not important that I can create my own life. To people like Papa and Dadi, I am still a liability. 

    Sad-Woman

    There are women in big cities who are working and living their own lives but every now and then, something happens with one of them that reminds the people that girls are still vulnerable, they still need protection despite all their progress. 

    When that ‘something’ happens to one of these ‘independent’ girls living in big cities, the impact is felt by every girl living in every village, every town. That one incident is narrated to the girls day in and day out. It shakes up their confidence and faith in themselves and the world around them. The parents become even more fearful for their daughters. Some of them even wish that they had no daughters. 

    At that time, their achievements, their progress does not matter. It does not matter that women have made their mark in every sphere of life. 

    All that matters is that they are women and a nameless person can rip them apart in a fraction of second. He may be a nobody but every body in this world is scared of him just because he is a man.

    Ma, don’t search for me even though I am your daughter. I do not matter. People are happier without me. 

    Finding me will destroy your peace of mind. You will forever be worried about me. Forget that you even had a daughter. With me gone, you are free to travel, to explore the world, to find yourself again.’

    With a whiff of the mist, she disappeared. Shirin opened her eyes. She was in her bed in Jaisalmer. Shirin opened her eyes. She was in her bed in Jaisalmer.

    Faith-The Mystery of the Missing Girl by Shailaza Singh

     

  • Of other worlds and possibilities

    Of other worlds and possibilities

    Most of us believe that time travels in a straight line. Actually, if you look at the world, life moves in a straight line, nothing can go backwards or forwards.

    However, when I started watching the famous BBC show Doctor Who, my ideas about time changed. Time can move in any direction, in any way, in any manner. Yes, most of us would argue that this is just a story or fiction. However, every story has a basis in fact.

    Here are some theories of science that are now a reality.

    Titanic- the magnificent ship that sank in its maiden voyage

    The book was written in 1898 and the ship sank in 1912. Is it just a coincidence or something?

    About travel to the moon

    Jules Verne wrote the book in the 18th century. But now, moon travel has become a reality.

    Edward Bellamy wrote about people using credit cards in the year 2000 in 1887.

    These book and more make me wonder if the time travel in Doctor Who and many other novels can indeed become a reality. Imagine if you could travel in time and space..would you grow old quickly or stay young forever? Where would you go? What would change?

    Every one talks about we being alone in the universe. Is it so? Or is some information being deliberately kept hidden from the public. How can creation be so perfect to form different species of animals so accurately? Was Noah’s arc actually a spaceship that delivered these species here?

    What do you think? Is time travel possible? Where would you like to go in time and space if given the chance? Do share your thoughts.

    Shailaza Singh

  • Feedback for Faith-The Mystery of the Missing Girl

    Feedback for Faith-The Mystery of the Missing Girl

    Madella Shobah from Madanapalle says-

    ‘really it’s a good book to read ..it takes couple of hours to read with lot of interest..every page provokes u to read the next ..u can’t anticipate the things..while reading u can imagine the characters..such a simple vocabulary. .all the best shailaza garu …’

    Thank you for the feedback. If you would like to read it, please order your copy from the links given below!

    Flipkart.com

    Amazon.in

  • Born To Be Wild- MTV Roadies in Jaipur

    Born To Be Wild- MTV Roadies in Jaipur

    For the last sixteen years, contestants on MTV Roadies have been travelling to different destinations to participate in various tasks that challenge their physical and mental strength. Winners are then decided on vote outs, vote ins, immunity, eliminations, captaincy and twists introduced by producers. Special appearances by guests- actors, sports persons and musicians- are regular features of the show. The current hosts-Rannvijay Singha, Nikhil Chinapa,and Gaelyn Mendonca- who were in Jaipur to inaugurate the city’s first Club Roadie talk to Shailaza Singh about their experiences.

    In the last sixteen years, MTV Roadies has not only entertained the Indian audience with some ‘out of the world’ dares but also spread the ‘fitness fever’ amongst the youth. Rannvijay Singha, the host of MTV Roadies says, ‘I think this country has become fitter because of Roadies. If some hundred million people have jumped on to the fitness bandwagon, I can bet 85 percent of them have been inspired by Roadies.’

    The three popular roadies, hosts Rannvijay Singha and Gaelyn Mendonca along with VJ and gang leader Nikhil Chinapa were talking about their connection with Roadies and Jaipur at the opening of the first Roadies Club at the Marriott Hotel in Jaipur. The free-wheeling chat was entertaining, spooky and engaging.

    Shooting for Roadies.

    Rannvijay said, ‘I had a spooky experience while shooting for Roadies 4 sometime back. After finishing our shoot in Chokhi Dhani at about 6:30 am, Raghu Ram, creator of MTV Roadies, Ranjeet Bajaj, an ex-Roadie, another guy and me decided to go to Bhangarh on four bikes since it was our day off. Just like it happens in those horror movies, one of the bikes broke down just outside Jaipur. We left it there and went on the remaining three bikes. Then we were greeted by storm and rain. This was the month of May-June. We took shelter in a small dhaba. Though the thought of going back did come, true to the Roadie spirit, Raghu and I decided that we would finish what we had started. We reached Bhangarh at about 12:30 in the afternoon. The entire place was very still and quiet as usual. There was no one there. We decided to get some shuteye since we had not slept the entire night. In my sleep, I thought I heard some noises of some children playing. I got up and looked around. There was no one. The other three guys were sleeping. After a while, we got up and went back on our bikes. Again, we were greeted by a storm and rain on our way back to Chokhi Dhani. In the night, when we were having food in Chokhi Dhani, Ranjeet who was perhaps the most easily frightened out of all of us told me that he heard some children playing when we were sleeping in Bhangarh. We all looked at him and realized that all of us had heard the same voices. That was spooky.’

    So, what would you have done if you had actually encountered a monster in Bhangarh?

    Rannvijay laughed and said, ‘ Whenever I go out to such places, I always go in a group. In such situations, my first reaction is to run. But since it is all about the survival of the fittest, I ensure that I am at least faster than one person so that I don’t get to be the prey.’

    Gaelyn said, ‘I didn’t have a spooky experience but I had a very interesting experience all the same. Before every Roadie series start, we have a task trial. The crew of the Roadie try out every task before giving it to the gang leaders and the contestants. I have almost always been a happy guinea pig for those trials. I remember in one task we had to mixe the poop of a hippopotamus with the poop of an elephant. By the time I finished it, I was stinking but since we were in an open field, we had no bathrooms, so I had to spray a lot of deodorant and get ready for the show.’

    ‘I had no such experience,’ said Nikhil, ‘but I get very frustrated when I see people with big muscles and small brains. I don’t know what to do with people who say that they are physically very strong but don’t know how to row a boat or use a catapult or how to climb a rope. They don’t have the basic life skills and come to roadies after years of building muscles just by drinking protein shakes. I keep asking them how did they survive life so far without knowing how to play marbles or fly kites or bows and arrows.’

    Changes in Jaipur Youth

    Rannvijay said, ‘ My connection with Jaipur is very deep. My father is from the Rajputana rifles so we a lot of friends here. Also, in the last ten years, Jaipur has been voted as one of the ten best cities to settle down because of the quality of life one can get here. Earlier when I used to come here, I used to talk to people and they used to say that they had to go to Delhi or Mumbai for their careers or to study. In the last decade, things have changed. Everything including all brands, clubs, educational institutes are here. You have bigger houses, better roads (comparatively).There are more opportunities to do your own business in your own city are more as opposed to going to a bigger city and trying to find a footing there . I have realized that more and more young people are coming back to Jaipur and settling here which is good because the cost of living is low and quality of life is high. People no longer feel the need to go to Delhi and party or go to study elsewhere. Talk about parties or studies or careers, Jaipur has everything. Once I went to a party in Nyla Bagh and I realized that this party could even have been in Brazil.’

    Nikhil agreed, ‘ I remember some fifteen years ago, there was a Maan Industrial Estate where they held parties that were awesome. In fact, I believe Jaipur has better opportunities in sports too because here you have relatively a few million people and more grounds as compared to twenty million people in a metropolitan city and the ever-increasing dearth of space due to increasing cemented jungle.’

    Homogenized Attitude

    Rannvijay feels that everything is homogenized because of the media and internet. ‘The youngsters today are following the same kind of people, same kind of fashion, same brands and opportunities.’ Agreed Gaelyn, ‘These days, it is even very difficult to know where a contestant is from unless he has a very strong original flavor of the place either in his speech or accent or mannerisms.’

    So does that mean we are losing the local flavor with all this homogenization?

    Rannvijay had a different point of view. ‘My parents wanted me to learn the Punjabi language, so they taught me. This homogenization is not technology’s fault. If parents and community want to ensure that the youth learn something about the culture and don’t lose out on it, they need to take the initiative.’ Nikhil agreed, ‘you can be anything you want to be. You need to create your own identity. It’s your choice.’

    I realized that the Roadies were right. Life is all about choices and carving your own path. You don’t have to lose your identity to be a part of the crowd. As Gaelyn said, ‘You can be modern and yet be cultured. You don’t have to lose your identity just to be ‘with it.’

    Shailaza Singh

    Published Author, Poet and Youtuber

    This article on MTV Roadies was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 29 November 2019.

  • The Enigmatic Storyteller- Guneet Monga

    The Enigmatic Storyteller- Guneet Monga

     Guneet Monga’s journey to success is nothing short of phenomenal. She is one of the youngest producers in India and a trailblazer who believes in the power of story telling. Her movies have won accolades around the world. The Hollywood Reporter named her as the “most prolific producers of a new wave of cinema”.

    ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going.’ I hadn’t understood the true meaning of this adage until I talked to thirty-five year old Guneet Monga, an Oscar winner, a BAFTA nominee whose boutique production house Sikhya Entertainment has produced notable movies like The Lunchbox, Gangs of Wasseypur, Masaan. Her 2018 production Period. End of Sentence won the Academy Award for Best Documentary Short Subject. However, the road to these achievements hasn’t been easy for this former Delhite who has worked as a DJ, insurance agent, an event planner, a salesperson for Laughing Cow Cheese in her quest to seek her true calling.

    Some excerpts from the conversation:

    You’ve been into so many jobs. What made you turn a producer?

    I am a story teller by heart. Even if I have to explain a small incident, I will take 15 minutes to talk about it. Producing is a very powerful form of story telling. I also get to empower so many directors to produce great content. I am a multi-tasker who is wired for delegation and organization, so becoming a producer was a natural progression of sorts since I started as a production intern and then moved on to become a location manager and so on.

    Adversity seems to have been a part of your life. In your childhood, you’ve seen domestic violence. You struggled to return the 50 lakhs to your neighbour after your first film tanked. How do you find the strength to move on?

    From the very beginning, I have been a go-getter. I don’t think much, I just dive into the work and do what needs to be done. Choice is a privilege and when you don’t have a choice you just need to move on. When my first movie tanked, I went from school to school, location to location to showcase the movie which helped me to pay it back.

    Life has this way of resetting our value systems by constantly giving us something different from what we expect, believe or want? Has it ever happened with you?

    All the time! I lost my parents about 10 years ago. And I am an only child. You always look back at your parents for your core value system and to understand where you come from, what you were taught to believe in. Today, though I have achieved a lot but I miss that kind of appreciation from the core. So, everything that happens is good but not great because that sense of validation which comes from your parents is not there. So, I have learnt to become my own parent. I have set my value system with my own checks and balances to check my self and understand where I could be better. Whenever something good happens, I tell myself this is just the start, there is so much to do, so much to learn. But that is a lot of internal work.

    What does success mean to you?

    I am actually a big believer in power of failure because that teaches you the most. When you achieve success in anything, you don’t think things could go wrong. To me, the movies that have not worked, the movies that have not been released, are the reasons why I am able to be a part of a movie that is successful around the world and wins awards because I learnt so much from the movies that didn’t make it. To me success is this wisdom, and to be inspired and to be continually allowed to be tell my stories. For this I have learnt to be grateful and content.

    What is the biggest strength of a woman according to you?

    Women are generally very perceptive, empathetic and have a great sense of intuition and responsibility which allows them to be in a better position than men. Besides, there are women like me who lost so much in life that they have nothing to lose and are grateful for opportunities that they get. So that fearlessness is also a very powerful tool as a woman.

    Have you been to Jaipur?

    Yes, I was their for the Jaipur Literature Festival this year. I love Jaipur and its people. The place has amazing energy. I am a silver jewelry collector so Jaipur is a great shopping destination for me!

    Shailaza Singh

    Published Author, Poet and Youtuber

    This article was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit section on October 11, 2019