The world Arin Verma came from had long abandoned the chaos of human emotions. Efficiency, logic, and precision ruled, governed by the Time Keepers—an elite order that monitored and adjusted the flow of time across civilizations. They were the silent architects of history, ensuring that the past remained undisturbed, the future untainted. In their world, there was no space for love, passion, or art—these things were seen as relics of a primitive age, distractions that clouded judgment and disrupted progress.
Arin had always been the perfect Time Keeper. He had trained since childhood, mastering the delicate balance of time manipulation, able to navigate its endless currents with precision. His duty was to archive and preserve significant moments of history, ensuring that time remained untouched by interference. Yet, despite his success, a quiet hollowness had always lingered within him, a sensation he was never able to name.
Then he found the poem.
It had been buried deep within the archives of a dying Earth civilization, an unremarkable entry amid countless historical texts. He should have overlooked it, dismissed it as another meaningless fragment from a world that had long since faded. But something made him pause.
The words were simple, yet they struck him like a wave crashing against stone:
What we yearn to find, does it yearn for us? What we dream of, does it dream of us? What I seek, is it my seeker too? If that is true, will I ever meet you?
The moment he read it, something inside him cracked open. The words pulled at something deep within, something long buried by the rules of his world. It was as though the poet had reached across time itself and touched the very core of his being. For the first time in his existence, Arin felt moved—a sensation foreign to him, yet impossible to ignore.
Who had written these words? Did they understand the ache that now burned within him? He had to know. A search through the archives led him to a name: Astha Mehra. A writer from Jaipur. A poet. A woman from Earth’s past, from an era long before his own. She had lived, breathed, and written those words, never knowing they would find their way to him. The realization struck him like lightning—he had spent his existence preserving the past, but never had he stepped into it for personal reasons.
Until now.
His hands hovered over the time coordinates. The elders would never approve of such a mission, but they had no reason to suspect him. He was one of their best.
For the first time, Arin Verma was about to break the very rules he had sworn to uphold.
And he had no idea what awaited him on the other side.
…To be continued in the next post
This online novel with all its chapters is an original copyrighted work of the author Shailaza Singh. All rights reserved.
Malashri Lal believes that poems help in healing one’s self because when a poet writes pure emotions. She feels that everyone is a poet though everyone may not be Kalidas or Valmiki. To her, Bhopa singer dancing in Rajasthan is as much a poet as a person who is reciting poetry in the by lanes of Shanti Niketan.
Malashri Lal has been writing poems for decades. She feels that poems help in releasing all the emotions on to the paper and letting go.
How does poetry help in healing the heart?
I have been writing personal poetry for a long time. Poetry helps in healing because you write your emotions out of yourself. When you look for words, it helps and then you need precise words. So, if someone is writing about losing a friend, he will not look for a word like sorrow which is quite common place but he will use words like angst or anguish or trauma. In doing so, I think you actually enter the premises of healing. A prose needs narrative but a poetry doesn’t. It just needs images and phrases. Personally, I think every one is a poet in some way.
You seem to be very fond of Sita. Many poems in the book talk about her.
Sita has seeped into my consciousness ever since Namita Gokhale and I wrote “In Search of Sita”. It was the first of our Goddess trilogy books we did. When we were working on our book on Sita and we were looking at her as a figure of strength, intelligence and decision making, she sort of became a part of psyche. We were getting into her mind and thoughts and therefore giving her dialogues, conversations and scenarios. I wrote this poem at a time when there had been a fair amount of discussion in the newspapers regarding Sita’s rasoi which was an area which was found during the excavations in Ayodhya. It struck me at that time that generally we think of rasoi as being the centre and the heart of the mother’s domain. Sita in my mind stood for equality, fairness and justice, I could just imagine her sitting and making rotis not only for her two children but also for a third orphan child who would be a playmate. There was a mix of what I had grown up with that you play with the children your age, doesn’t matter what caste or community they come from. That is what I had seen in Jaipur. The notion of mathematical equality is very different to woman’s idea of equality because emotions always have a part to play and that is what I have tried to portray in this poem.
//Sita’s Rasoi
“Maternity calls for justice, no favourite child.
Sita’s rasoi, a stone slab on which warmed single mounds of flour rest. Rotis dance into a shape, flat, brown-edged, uneven rounds.
Take one each, Little Bakha, you too. Be sure it’s an equal share, not a morsel must exceed anyone’s due.
What did you say— the rotis are not exact rounds so what is an equal share?
That puzzles a mathematical man Who may know enough to solve this query. Uneven jagged edges, uncertainties they might mull over as Father, Priest, Teacher. “//
But Sita seeped into your consciousness so much that she even followed you to Italy in the poem Bellagio, Italy?
I don’t find that strange at all. You see, Namita Gokhale and I had a joint fellowship at this place called Bellagio which is a residency run by the Harvard University. It is fully funded, month-long residency. We got the opportunity because we had finished writing our manuscript (“In Search of Sita” and we were now editing it. When you are editing, you need to be together much more. We applied for this residency and we got it. It was a huge, beautiful estate on the banks of Lake Como. So, Sita was with us in Bellagio. It was February, the trees were covered with snow. They had icicles, some of which had melted while some were still suspended on the trees. Sometimes, the sun would sparkle through these icicles. We found a grotto there during one of our daily walks. Interestingly, no one knew what it was or who it was for. It didn’t feature in any of the material that we had read about the place and history. So, we did our own research and came upon the history of this Celtic Goddess whose name was Belisama. She, like many ancient goddesses including Gaia was linked to the earth. It was then that this link happened between Sita and Belisama in my mind.
//Bellagio, Italy
“Belisama’s shrine and Sita’s exile, Met strangely on the hilltop of an ancient manor house Villa Serbolini, Bellagio, overlooking Lake Como. “How did I come here?” asked the prisoner of Ashoka Van ”Was it the power of a writer’s pen that propelled this journey?” “A Goddess lives beyond time and geography,” Said the deity of the Lake Remembering hoary Roman times Celtic chalice of stone and water from secret wells.
Sita of my imagination followed me Through the snow-clad landscape of pines Pendent with glistening drops of ice Sita murmured to me of her travails and her choices Sita was completely at home in what I thought was an alien space For she and the Celtic Goddess had a common sisterhood In Endurance and in Hope.”//
Your poem “Hawa Mahal” talks about some latent desires.
I wrote this poem for two reasons. One it was such an obvious tourist spot. Second, the from the very childhood, I had always wondered why would any one put up a façade with nothing behind it? Then I used to talk to my father about the architecture and purdah since he was history person. Purdah is not just about certain clothes, there are different types of purdahs like there is a Janana Mahal and Mardana Mahal where you have segregated domestic spaces. Then I realized that it was made so that women could sit behind those jalis and look down upon the procession that happened along the Jauhri bazaar road. I imagined this whole idea of a very restricted childhood and adolescence of girl children growing up in traditional Rajput homes. You see all this traditional pageantry, this beauty on the walls of the havelis where there are so many paintings. So, you see a lot of romance depicted around you but it is prohibited in your life till you are married off to someone who you hardly know or don’t even know. A lot of my MGD classmates were Rajputs. So, this whole idea of watching from behind the veil with desires playing up since you are young woman. You dream of romance and see so much of it depicted around you like the Rajput paintings. It is all about of longing and desire.
//Hawa Mahal
“Who sits behind those tiered windows Arched like Ram’s bow Waiting to tremble into action For a hunt yet to start? A princess in royal blue The colour of Diwali Peers from the shadows Looking eagerly at the carriages below Thirsting for a paramour Not yet known.
Cloistered girlhood, Guarded puberty, Controlled womanhood How did she learn to dream Of love and desire? Was it from the legends of Krishna Intricately drawn on the walls? Was it her prayers which held hidden meaning In pursuing the call of the flute?”//
Shila Devi to me is a metaphor for migrant identity. Actually, at one time I was seriously thinking of doing a book on the link between Bengal and Rajasthan. Shila Devi is one of the earliest examples of how a stone image from Jessore came to Raja Mansingh in a dream (as the legend says). Along with her came the cooks and the pujaris who were and still are Bengalis. Half our school teachers in MGD were Bengali. Many doctors were also Bengalis. All of these came because of their jobs and settled here. Both the worlds (Bengali and Rajasthani) existed together. Shila Devi came to me as a migrant divinity and therefore legitimizing migrant movement as something that was positive. Personally, I needed that in my life. For a long time, I had a very split identity which I have written about and spoken about where I was from or who I was. Today, I can say that I am from Rajasthan but I am a Bengali. That time, I used to console myself thinking that even Shila Devi came from Jessore to Rajasthan.
//Shila Devi of Amber
“Gilded silver doors encase me now with a retinue of priests who determine my hours of shayan, darshan and bhog. I think of my freedoms in Jessore
In a marshy pit, I lay hidden When Mansingh found me as a black miracle stone. I travelled to the golden Rajasthan. Honour, glory, wealth was mine, but what happened to my companions in the marsh? The dolorous fish, the raucous frogs, the earth-hugging worms? Did they find adoration too?”//
You have dedicated your book “Mandalas of Time” to the poets under the Pilkhan tree. What is your relationship with the Pilkhan tree?
The Pilkhan tree is a humongous tree in our garden which is three storeys high. Ours is a bungalow in the heart of Delhi. When we were house hunting about eight years back, the tree in this place somehow spoke to me. I don’t claim that I have any mystical connection with objects of nature but I think I am attuned to them in a way. We often organize Pilkhan poetry sessions under this tree with a group of 20 people. We celebrate being together, reading poetry and books and finally we cut a cake and have eats. I believe the Pilkhan tree is almost like a witness to whatever is going on in the house. It keeps listening quietly to everything. I spend a lot of time sitting under the tree.
//Another New Year
“The Pilkhan tree nods its farewell to the year. Its squirrels scamper looking for nuts left over From Christmas festivities And the days of social revelry The Pilkhan is tired of hearing Scandal, gossip, jokes Of the young The worries and health bulletins of the old, The strategic plans of family and builders OF knocking down the old house For commercial profit.
The Pilkhan tree thinks of its many years Of shedding leaves, bearing inedible fruit, of losing limbs But smiles at his troubles being far less Thank of unfortunate humans Who kill each other in word and deed But gather around the tree each Christmas With fulsome gifts and vacant smiles To bring in another New Year.
Concluded
This article by Shailaza Singh appeared in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on April 28th, 2024
Not knowing is okay too… Not knowing what decision to take.. Not knowing what are the stakes Not knowing what to do… Not knowing is okay too..
Not knowing what is right or wrong.. Not knowing how to be strong.. Not knowing which way to go.. Not knowing the things to know.. Not knowing how to start your life anew Not knowing is okay too…
As the river of time flows, It reveals wave by wave what it knows The hidden secrets are washed on the sandy shore. The destiny reveals what’s in store As these moments meet and bid adieu.. One thing is for sure.. Not knowing is okay too..
The words find the paper They flow like a bubbling stream… The writer writes or so it seems.. But that’s an illusion understood by a few Not knowing is okay too
The ones who pass away Never really leave For their breath becomes the air that rustles the leaves. The ones who pass away Are always around.. For they become the earth…the very ground… The ones who pass away Are always there.. For the sun and the rain show us their care They flow in the sparkling lakes, They shimmer in the stars, They become our guardians Where ever we are… The ones who pass away Now have many roles to play… For they appear as the moonbeams that meet you every day… For the ones who pass away Have served their time on this earth… Now they are free to be with all those who love them… Without all the limitations of time, space and birth…
I know you are watching…. flow like the wind… be like the rain…. be around… Watch over us… Until we meet again…
Everything that is fragile, Needs a hard shell, Lest it breaks. There is no guarantee on how much pain it can take.
Sensitivity does not come at a set price, Just a plain plastic cover will not suffice. Don’t think about covering it with cotton or wool. You cannot hide it or disguise it, Its hardly cool.
A live, pulsating heart, Has to be protected by a shell so strong and smart, That it is never hurt beyond repair, That it does fall into the clutches of pain and despair. Yes, some heat is required for forging steel, But you don’t want deep wounds that will never heal. So, as you set out on your quest to explore, Be sure that your heart is wearing an armour before you step out of that door.
Its true that love brings pain, Yet the wise carry an umbrella when it rains.
खुद से लड़ना इतना आसान नहीं, की पीडियों से ये आदतें चली आ रहीं हैं. ईमारत की नींव को खोद कर फिर बनाना काफी दर्द भरा एहसास हो जाता है .. शरीर भी अपनी मनमानी कितनी चलाता है.. दिमाग भी कुछकम नहीं क्योंकि दर्द उसको भी कहाँ कबूल हो पाता है..
सोचो तो लगता है आसान है मंज़िल… पर हर कदम पर लड़ना है कितना मुश्किल. जो अब तक न किया वह उम्रों के बाद करने जा रहे हैं.. जाने खुद को या दुनिया को क्या दिखा रहे हैं
बस एक ज़िद्द है जो कुछ अँधेरी राहों का उजाला हो जैसे. ज़िद्द की तलवार लिए हमने खुद पर ही कर दी चढाई, अब देखते हैं कौन जीतेगा ये अजीब सी लड़ाई…
Its not easy to fight your own heart, your own body or your own mind,
Its not easy to leave the beliefs you have grown up on behind,
Its not easy to bear pain even if it is for your own good,
It is not easy to swallow a bitter pill even though you know you should.
A stubborn will is all that you have to take on this strange fight,
To resist the comfort and to do what is painful but also right.
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