Have I lost myself?

I don’t know what I want.

The choices stare at me.

For long.

Until someone comes along.

And chooses for me what he thinks is right.

I think I may have just lost my sense of reason or insight

I stare at nothing.

And the days melt into weeks.

In my dreams, I hear my heart whispering.

Trying to tell me what it seeks.

Sometimes, a prospect says a hi.

But I even let that pass me by.

Nothing seems interesting or exciting.

The seeking, the adventure is no longer inviting.

I seem like a flubber ball,

Being pushed by people everywhere.

I do what is asked from me, but I hardly care.

I am breathing but have never really done things that I want to do.

I am a people pleaser and I do what people tell me to.

In this process, I have become a zombie, a body without a soul.

No ambition, no desire, just being trapped in a black hole.

No chaos, no feud, there is a deafening silence.

A crushing gravity that numbs the mind,

A way out will I ever find?

– Shailaza Singh


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