Most people would like to find their love online these days. They love the sense of adventure, thrill that comes with it. There are millions of options available no doubt. However, the net also has an abundance of scammers who are just waiting to ensnare those besotted with love!
One goes, others come- Bus, Train and Chats!
Sunita, 39 was quite upset. Her online friend had not been talking to her for an entire week now. They had been friends for over two months. He did not answer her calls and just sent a cryptic message saying, ‘will talk later’. One day, her friend Mansi came to meet her. ‘Why are you so upset?’ she asked. Sunita told her the issue. Mansi nonchalantly said, ‘he must have found someone more loaded. After all, its an investment of time!’
Sunita revealed that her online friend had asked her for her photographs which she refused to give. Since then, he had become distant and kept saying that she did not trust him enough. Mansi nodded, ‘yes, he wanted to have a little bit of ‘fun’. When he could not get it from you, he decided to try his luck elsewhere. Remember, in real life or net, when one goes, other comes whether bus or train or even a chat friend.’
Options Galore
Dr. Anamika Papriwal, a psychologist says, ‘When one goes on apps like Tinder or TrulyMadly or Aisle, they are given an impression that there are plenty of options to choose from. It is like being in the biggest supermarket of the world where you have millions of options to choose from. So, you will always keep wondering if there is anything better than the one you currently have or if you don’t get the desired features from that product, you will have no qualms about leaving it and trying for the next best option. As a result, the relationships online are hardly long lasting unless you disconnect from the app once you have found the person you were looking for.’
Need based transactions
When Arunima 41, decided to come to India for two months, she knew she would be lonely without her husband and daughter. She comes here regularly to take care of her business and stays for months at a time. She says, ‘Every time I come here, I start scoring for people who are looking for a casual, no strings attached fling. After all, why should boys have all the fun? I have a family back home and I am not looking for any kind of melodrama or complications or monetary problems. There are many who are looking for the same thing and we get together. Once the two months are over, we bid adieu and promise to never be in touch again. So far this arrangement has worked for me quite well.’
Kaveri Banerjee a psychologist based in Delhi says, ‘Online relationships are nothing but simple transactions that are a matter of convenience for most people. They are mostly need based and not based on emotions or long term. When the need is met, the people go their own separate ways.’
Agrees Govind, 35, ‘I am a single guy who is not looking for long term. When I meet a girl online, I want to meet her immediately so that I can evaluate if we are a good fit. If she delays the meeting or does not want to meet before knowing me and chatting with me, I tell her that I don’t have either the time or the patience for such conversations.’
Honey! I want your money
Vihaan was 50-year-old widower, settled in Chandigarh. His sons and daughters were married and were living in different parts of the country and the world. Vihaan stayed alone in his house with his servants. One of his friends advised him to logon to Tinder, an app for single men and women. Vihaan liked the idea because he could look at prospective matches from the comfort of his house. He chanced upon Aparna, a single mother working in a not-for-profit organization (NGO). She was a 45-year-old divorcee who had a college going son. They instantly hit off and Aparna even introduced Vihaan to her son Nikhil.
They talked for long hours on end on audio and video calls and Aparna told him how she had single-handedly raised Nikhil after her husband walked away with another woman. Vihaan felt he had met a kindred soul in Aparna. He talked to his friends and they advised him to go and meet his dream girl. Aparna readily agreed to the idea. Vihaan had booked his tickets for the following week. Before the day he was to travel to meet her, Vihaan got a call from Aparna at about 1 a.m. She told him that Nikhil had met with a serious accident and was in the ICU. He had lost a lot of blood and the doctors would not operate until she deposited 2 lakh rupees. She said she did not have that kind of cash and asked him to help. Vihaan asked her for her account number and promptly transferred 2 lakh rupees. After about five minutes, he received a ‘thanks’ on WhatsApp from her number. He tried calling but now her number is always switched off.
Sonakshi was a 44-year-old single lady living with her parents in Hyderabad. She was a very successful entrepreneur who had been too busy for marriage during her youth. Now, she felt the need to share her life with someone. Her friends advised her to download a dating app. Soon, she got connected to Raghu, a businessman who was based in New York, USA. Raghu was an issueless divorcee who was looking for his soulmate. He was a great conversationalist and Sonakshi discovered that they could talk for hours on end about every topic in the world. After about two months, Raghu told Sonakshi that he will be coming to meet her. He wanted to marry her and take her back with him. Sonakshi’s joy knew no bounds. Raghu sent her pictures of all the expensive gifts including Apple iPad, diamond jewellery that he had purchased for her. Sonakshi’s friends warned her to be patient and not get blown away by such gestures. But Sonakshi could not wait. She was ready to meet her Prince Charming. On the day that Raghu was supposed to reach Mumbai, Sonakshi got a call on her phone. The man speaking on the other end said that he was calling from the customs department in Mumbai airport. He told her that Raghu has been arrested since he had items worth more than the permissible limit and unless he paid, they will not let him go. Sonakshi asked them to send the details where she could send the payment and the person sent her a link. She was asked to pay 1 lakh, which she immediately paid without even thinking. Then she got a call from the concierge at the hotel where Raghu’s stay was booked. She was told that though Raghu was supposed to make the payment to book the room, his phone was out of reach. So, they asked her to make the payment of 50,000 INR. They sent her the link and she made the payment. After sometime, she got a call from Raghu who told her that the custom’s issue was solved and he wanted a business class ticket from Mumbai to Hyderabad. He asked her to transfer 50,000 INR and said that he will return it as soon as he meets her. Sonakshi transferred the money. She later tried to call Raghu but since that time his phone has been switched off.
Dr. Anamika Papriwal, a psychologist says, ‘I have heard of women talking to men for days and they asking them to pay their children’s fee or give them money for their daily expenditure. Many of these people who pull off such scams have an innate understanding of the human behaviour. They first befriend the person, establish trust with them and then spend time talking to them. Once the person starts trusting them, they start with small transactions which they promptly return to again establish trust. Once that is done, they move in for the kill. In a way, it is an addiction where the person gets addicted to the other person. You can get anything done from an addict who needs his daily dose. That is how this works!’
Truelove.com
However, not all is gruesome and gory in the world of online dating. There are stories where people have found true love too. Thirty-year-old Puja met Nikhil on a dating app. Initially, she thought he was quite arrogant and snobbish. However, when they started chatting, she realized that he and she shared the same dreams and values. Nikhil travelled to Baroda to meet Puja and her family. After a while, Puja too visited Nikhil and his parents in Lucknow. Soon, they were married and are now blessed with a baby boy. Arjun, a 35-year-old doctor living in Gurgaon had faced rejection from a lot of girls. Online, he met Shruti, an interior designer who was also living in Gurgaon. Shruti was beautiful but suffering from self-image issues owing to her weight. They connected and realized that they had a lot in common. They got married after dating for two years and are still going strong.
This article was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit on 2 June 2021.
Camilla Townsend’s book ‘The Fifth Sun’ dispels the age-old notions that depicted Aztecs as a blood thirsty, barbaric civilization and throws light on their triumphs and struggles.
According to the Aztec folklore, the universe had imploded four times previously and they were living under the fifth sun thanks to the courage of an ordinary man called ‘Nanahuatzin (Na-na-wa-tzeen). When the Gods asked for a volunteer who could immolate himself and bring forth a new sun, Nanahuatzin volunteered and without much fanfare stepped into the fire. As he burned, the sun rose and the life on the earth was saved.
When I read this interesting story from Camilla Townsend’s book “The Fifth Sun: A New History of Aztecs”, which had been awarded the Montreal’s McGill University’s much coveted US$ 75,000 Cundill History Prize 2020, I was reminded of a similar legend inscribed on a plaque in the Mehrangarh fort of Jodhpur in Rajasthan.
When Rao Jodha wanted to build a grand fort on a hillock, a saint who was known as the Chidiyawale Baba was meditating in that area. Disturbed by the soldier, he cursed that if the king attempts to build the fort of his dreams, his kingdom would be fraught with repeated draughts. When the king begged the saint for forgiveness, the saint told him that though he could not take the curse back but if the king could find a man who is buried alive on his own will, the curse would be neutralized and the city would be protected. Thus in 1459 they found a volunteer in Rajaram Meghwal, who agreed to sacrifice his life protect the land and its people. In return, Rao Jodha promised him that he and his heirs would look after Rajaram’s family. But, the question is would a foreigner understand this sacrifice or would he term it as a barbaric act? How can someone truly understand and appreciate these acts of heroism and sacrifice unless they understand the underlying culture, bravery and emotions of the person who willingly chose to end his life for a cause which he perceived to be much greater than him? In most articles, books and movies, the Aztecs have been depicted as people who loved violence and brutally sacrificed people for their own pleasure or purposes. The Spanish conquistadors who came wrote about the grisly ceremonies where the Aztec priests would slice open their victims’ chests and offer their still beating hearts to the Gods. The bodies would then be tossed down the steps of the towering temple of Mayor. Many archaeologists have found skull racks and towers during the course of their digs and expeditions.
Movies like Apocaylpto have enough violence to convince the world that this ancient civilization knew nothing else. Spanish is a language spoken by millions across the world, hence when the Spanish conquistadors wrote about their perceptions and impressions of this ancient civilization, people took it to be the truth. No one till now really bothered to go beyond this widespread perception of the Aztecs because for the people of the west it would mean looking at the other side of the story. It would mean understanding the point of view of an almost extinct civilization, the people who were really not ‘Indians’ but had been forced with a name just because when the famous explorer Christopher Columbus landed in Antilles near Mexico, he believed that he had reached the Indian Ocean. Though the mistake was discovered with time but the name stuck with Europeans, the Spanish friars and the subsequent explorers who referred to the native Americans as Indians. It seems quite similar to how some people still think of India as a land of snake charmers and elephants!
‘After the conquest, the young people trained in the Roman alphabet began to write down what the various elders said, carefully transcribing their words onto paper and then storing the folios on a special shelf or in a locked box- another well-loved innovation that the Spaniards had brought…[…].’ It was these records that helped Camilla Townsend, who is an American historian and distinguished professor of history at Rutgers University, New Jersey in United States, to understand the real Aztecs and their life. In her book, she says she ‘was sitting in a library when heard a captured Aztec princess shouting at her enemies.’ This inspired her to read the accounts of the early native Americans in Nahuatl (Na-wat) and Spanish and write a book which for the first time presented the Aztec point of view to the world. From the book, it is obvious that the Aztecs were intelligent, enterprising and tough people who had learnt to make the best of every situation that they found themselves in. In one story, when they found themselves living as the servants of another, more powerful ancient tribe, they devised a plan for their freedom. They offered to take responsibility for handling the festivities of an upcoming religious holiday and asked the overlord chiefs to lend them their broken cast off weapons for a performance for the rulers which they were happily given. After all, what could they do with the old weapons? ‘They worked night after night, patiently, painstakingly gluing, sewing and repairing, rendering the feathered, painted shields and spears truly beautiful . At last, they were ready to launch their bid for their people’s freedom- which of course they won.’ Aztecs were known for their sacrifices. Some prisoners of war were sacrificed in religious festivals while the women desired by the warrior were sent to his household. However, the sacrifices were not as gory as the movies and books have made them out to be. ‘In reality, it seems to have been a gravely quiet, spellbinding experience for the onlookers, […]. After a sacrifice, the warrior who had captured and presented the victim kept the remains (the hair and ceremonial regalia) in a special reed chest in a place of honour in his home for as long as he lived.’ It was mostly men who were sacrificed, however, when women were sacrificed the ceremony was different. ‘In one annual festival, for instance, a young girl taken in war was brought from a local temple to the home of her captor. She dipped her hand in blue paint and left her print on the lintel of his door, a holy mark that would last for years and remind people of the gift she gave of her life. Then she was taken back to the temple to face the cutting stone. It was an ancient tradition among the native people not to give way before one’s enemies; such stoicism brought great honour. ‘ This reminded me of the sacrifices made by women in the Indian culture specially when they had to perform jauhar to preserve their honour. Even today, many of Rajasthan’s forts have handprints of women who sacrificed their lives for their honour. In India’s history too, whether in war or death, men who have met their fate with courage have been revered and honoured.
When I asked Camilla Townsend about why sacrifices were such an integral part of all the ancient cultures of the world, she said, “I think the concept of a human sacrifice began as this idea where the ancient human beings were trying to show the divine that they were willing to accept their fate in a rather beautiful way. But unlike the common depiction in many books, these sacrifices initially were not an attempt to humiliate the enemy. On the contrary if the young warrior died without screaming, he was given a great honour as if he himself was a God. All warriors knew that if they were taken prisoners, that would be their fate. They would then try to show themselves, their enemies, their Gods and their people how strong they were and how willing to die they were for the cause.” However, she further added that when the Aztecs were at the height of their power, sacrifices acquired a different meaning all together. “In the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries when the Aztec civilization was at its prime, instead of sacrificing an occasional prisoner of war, they started to sacrifice dozens of their enemies and prisoners of war. We have a text from that time which says that they used to go and kidnap or take people from the outskirts, places they were interested in conquering and bring them to their capital city and watch the sacrifices. These terrified people were then sent back to their homes where they convinced their townsmen to give up without a fight or else be prepared for a terrible war.”
Another interesting aspect about the Aztecs was the way they maintained two calendars and considered thirteen a lucky number. We, in India also refer to a lunar and a solar calendar. However, in our case, both calendars have the same number of days. “There were two ongoing cycles of time. One was a solar calendar which consisted of eighteen months of twenty days, plus five blank or unnamed, frightening days at the end, for a total of 365 days. The other was a purely ceremonial calendar containing thirteen months of 20 days each, for a total of 260 days…The two cycles of time both returned to their starting point at the end of fifty-two solar years. Thus a bundle of fifty two years as they termed it was as important to them as a century is today. To name each year they tied it to the ceremonial calendar’s most important number: thirteen. The fifty two years were divided into four groupings of thirteen each, like this: One Reed, Two Flint-knife, Three House, Four Rabbit, Five Reed, Six Flint Knife…[..] Thirteen Reed, and then beginning again One Flint-knife.” In her book, it was the younger generation of the Aztecs who worked to preserve the ancient records when they were conquered by the Spanish. Is it the case today too? Is the young generation doing anything to preserve their culture? “Yes, the younger generation of the native Americans in United States of America (USA) is trying to preserve languages and to offer classes and do everything that they can to make sure that the future people still have some access to these ancient ways of knowing speaking and believing. Today many young people leave the reservations, get jobs in the cities and become activists and remind us all that they are still native Americans. But it is an uphill battle compared to situation in Latin America where people were not put in reservations and can speak in their language, if not follow their religion. The people in Mexico have established classes, community centres, radio programs and books to validate and get people excited about these traditions. However, the truth is that to get a good paying job in Mexico, you must learn Spanish and then possibly English. It will not pay you in a financial sense to become an expert in languages like Nahuatl (Na-wat). The scholars in United States have been thinking about it and trying to raise money about it. Though there have not been any grand successes yet but there are programs attempting to make a difference.” The book is filled not just with the real account of the events that transpired but also with fables and legends of the Aztecs that helped them to find their strength and fight battles that they would eventually lose. For the first time, Camilla Townsend could present a different story of a civilization that has long been misconstrued and misunderstood. However, one wonders if there are any other such long lost civilizations whose stories have just been misconstrued by their conquerors and they had no one to tell the truth?
This article by Shailaza Singh was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 11 April 2021.
उम्मीद उम्र देखती तो सुकून की ज़िन्दगी जी पाते, कोई इधर न भटकता और हम भी उस मोड़ पर न जाते.
न सपने देखते न उस दरवाज़े पर लगाते टकटकी, न चलती कोई नज़्म ज़हन में, न आती किसी को मौसिकी, अजनबी ख्वाइशों के सैलाबों में हम न डूब पाते.
उम्मीद उम्र देखती तो सुकून की ज़िन्दगी जी पाते, कोई इधर न भटकता और हम भी उस मोड़ पर न जाते.
आहटों को कह देते की कोई घर में नहीं रहता, रोज़ दर पर ना खेलें , बंद करलेते आरज़ू की आखें. ताकते नहीं यूँ रंगों के मेले, तेरे मिलने की खुद ही खुदा को ऐसी गुहार न लगाते.
उम्मीद उम्र देखती तो सुकून की ज़िन्दगी जी पाते, कोई इधर न भटकता और हम भी उस मोड़ पर न जाते.
रातों में मेहखानों में न लगती दिलजलों की महफ़िलें, न बनते दीवाने, न भूलती मंज़िलें, मेह की आगोश में, यु बेवजह राही नहीं सो जाते,
उम्मीद उम्र देखती तो सुकून की ज़िन्दगी जी पाते, कोई इधर न भटकता और हम भी उस मोड़ पर न जाते.
Will the virtual version of Jaipur Literature Festival be able to enchant its audiences like its real counterpart? In this post pandemic era, will the readers be able to digest this literary reality?
On my way to the Diggi Palace Hotel, scenes from the last year’s Jaipur Literature Festival flashed across my mind’s eye. People carrying books in their hands, their bags bulging with books. Hundreds of people queueing in front of the kiosks, eager to get their books signed by their favourite author. There were some who had positioned themselves next to their favourite spot for the next session and were patiently waiting for the next session to begin. Elsewhere, many die-hard foodies were sampling the exotic dishes that had been painstakingly prepared by the chefs of Diggi Palace Hotel. Some die-hard fans were deep in conversation with their favourite author over a cup of tea or coffee! The green of the lawns of the sprawling palace were hardly visible amidst the colourful tents that were erected and the audience that occupied those lawns for the author sessions and discussions.
As I entered the gates of Diggi Palace, my reverie was broken by the cry of a peacock. I looked at the empty lawns and the peacocks who were walking across them as if they owned the place. And then the reality that I had refused to accept struck me! Jaipur Literature Festival would be an online affair in 2021. I walked to a corridor where Sanjoy K Roy, the managing director of Team Work Arts, the company which produces the festival was talking to a handful of people. They were waiting for B.D. Kalla, the art and culture minister, who was to officially inaugurate the Jaipur Literature Festival 2021 which is being held from 19 February 2021 to 28 February 2021. When I asked him for his views on the online change forced by COVID, he was quite upbeat about it, ‘Yes, this time people all over the world have registered for the festival. When the festival was held here, hardly any people from Germany could come. But now, we have so many people registering from different countries like Germany, Saudi Arabia and all across the world. The reach of the festival has become global in the true sense of the word.’
I remembered the bygone times, where the tourists and the people living in Jaipur would plan to spend their entire day at the Diggi Palace Hotel. Once they entered the venue, the visitors did nothing else except listen to author sessions or explore the various delights the festival had to offer. Some of them would even get their durries to have impromptu picnics in a corner of one of these lawns. Would the online version be able to captivate the audience in the same way? Would this online audience have as much dedication and staying power as the audience in the physical version of the festival?
‘We do hope it would,’ said Sanjoy K Roy. ‘To engage our virtual audience, we have curated a great line up of authors and speakers who would talk about a variety of topics ranging from books, nationalism, pandemic and more. This time, instead of having multiple sessions at the same time (in the physical versions, there were different sessions conducted by different authors in four different venues at any one given time), we will only have two sessions at the same time, so that the people don’t have to worry about missing out these sessions.’ Going forward, once the physical version of the festival is restored, will they still continue with the online version too or is it just for this time? ‘Definitely,’ said Sanjoy K Roy, ‘the online version will now be an integral part of JLF since it has definitely helped us to expand our reach and increase our audience across the globe.’
But would the viewers spend their entire time listening to the sessions as raptly as they did in the physical version? Sanjoy K Roy shrugged his shoulders, ‘May be not the entire time but from our experience during the pandemic time, I can say that the average viewing time was about 18 minutes per viewer which is more than the average of 7 to 8 minutes on OTT platforms. Moreover, while we could only accommodate a maximum of 15,000 people in the front lawn in the physical version of the festival, in the digital version we have received an average of 32,000 views per session, which is way higher.’
Our conversation was interrupted by the entry B.D. Kalla, minster for Art and Culture, Rajasthan who had come to virtually inaugurate the festival. I watched as Sanjoy K Roy greeted the minister and then took him to light the lamp to signal the commencement of the festival. One could actually see the effect that the pandemic has had on the world as people wondered whether to light the lamp with or without wearing the masks. Ultimately, they decided to film both the versions and take the decision later. Last year, there was a crowd present to witness this inauguration, this year there were only peacocks and a handful of people.
When he was done with the ceremony, I asked Sanjoy K Roy about the controversy surrounding the venue of the festival- Diggi Palace Hotel. Weren’t there articles and rumours about Diggi Palace Hotel no longer being the venue of JLF? And if that was the case, what was the future of JLF in 2022? ‘As of now, I am glad that thanks to the pandemic, the venue has not changed and I hope that will remain the case in the next year.’ What if the venue is changed? Where would the festival be held? ‘It is too early to comment on this but yes one thing is for sure that JLF will not go out of Jaipur.’
During the 13 years of its physical presence in Jaipur, JLF was not just an event that people looked forward to. It had become an important source of tourism and income for hotels, tourist guides, autos, busses and many street vendors who waited for the festival to earn their yearly income. The festival may have survived by donning an online avatar, but what would those people do this year? Sanjoy K Roy smiled sadly, ‘What can I say? It has been the case everywhere. The pandemic has impacted every one including us. Just this morning as I was coming here, I met the guy who used to sell his wares outside the palace during the festival. He told me how difficult it was for him and his family to survive this year since there would be no tourists or festival to sell his wares. We are hoping that we are back to business as usual in 2022 so that people are able to compensate for their losses.’
Ever since the onset of the pandemic, the world has been reeling with the deluge of online conferences, webinars, meetings and all sorts of virtual events. Many employees swear by their power naps and zoning off techniques to cope with the online information overload. It is indeed a challenge to sit glued to one’s chair and listen to the ever-droning colleagues and bosses without switching off. Students all over the world have been earnestly hoping that they are able to physically attend their schools since online classes no longer hold their interest. Some studies have suggested that it is difficult for human beings to concentrate on online events for an extended span of time. Moreover, most celebrities, authors and other speakers have their own channels in Instagram, Facebook and YouTube where they keep talking to their followers about their books, achievements and activities frequently.
In such a scenario, will an event like the Jaipur Literature Festival be able to hold the attention of the netizens? In the real world, the authors sessions were punctuated by coffee breaks, question- answer sessions, a visit to the book store, author signings and interactions and many more such activities which cannot be replicated even in the most technologically advanced version of the online festival. The question is even if the festival has been created using the most curated list of authors and advanced technology, will it be able to satisfy the audience’s need for a face-to-face conversation with their favourite author or smelling the pages of a brand-new book in the book shop or getting it autographed by its author? Will this virtual version be able to replicate those moments and experiences? Will the audience learn to love this version as it loved the physical festival? Maybe or maybe not! Only the people and time will tell.
This article by Shailaza Singh was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 17 February 2021.
I recently read an article about the actor Matthew McConaughey and what a devoted father and husband he is.
I, for one cannot understand something. Why do we celebrate or praise men for their devotion and ga ga over them? Or is it that we are always suprised when we see a celebrity being devoted to his relationships instead of being self obsessed?
Why do men marry or have kids if they don’t want to be committed or devoted to their family?
On the other hand, a devoted woman seems to be a default piece in the universe! We don’t praise women for their ability to handle everything with ease. We take it for granted that they will do everything without making a big deal about it. If they fail to do it, we raise eyebrows.
I remember having a discussion with a newly married friend. He said, ‘If I start listening to my wife all the time, my friends and my mother will call me ‘joru ka gulam’. I cannot show that I love my wife and children and really care for them.’
I don’t know about the other countries but in India, this is a prevalent thought. Men will do anything for their girlfriends, they will be utterly devoted lovers but the moment the girlfriends become wives, their entire stance will change- so much so that they will not even help their wives in any chore or anything lest some one ridicules them for being so devoted.
I couldn’t help but devote some lines to this phenomenon-
शादी से पहले डार्लिंग, मैं तुम्हारे लिए कुछ भी कर जाऊँगा, पहाड़ पे चढ़ जाऊँगा, तुम मेरी हो जाओ, वर्ना मर जाऊँगा. तुम्हारा हर दर्द मेरी ज़िम्मेदारी है, तेरे बगैर बेकार ये दुनिया सारी है. आशिक़ हूँ तुम्हारा , मैं किसी से नहीं डरता हूँ, इससे बड़ा सच नहीं की मैं तुमसे बहुत प्यार करता हूँ.
शादी के बाद डार्लिंग, मैं तुमसे प्यार करता हूँ पर मेरी माँ से डरता हूँ. तुम मुझे दर्द में भी बुलाओगी तो भी मैं नहीं आऊँगा , नहीं तो मैं जोरू का गुलाम कहलाऊँगा. तुम समझो न, मैं पति हूँ तुम्हारा , तुम्हारे लिए दौड़ आऊं, ऐसा हूँ नहीं कोई आशिक़ आवारा
Shirin has a dream where Faith talks to her and tells her not to search for her because she does not matter to anyone.
‘Faith,’ Shirin whispered as she looked at her. Faith was wearing her wedding dress. ‘Yes Ma, it is me and I have come to tell you something. I know you’ve been so worried about me. You’ve left everything behind just to find me. Your husband and mother-in-law are upset with you. Why are you going to such a lot of trouble for a person nobody remembers or even bothers about?
Who am I? To you, I am your daughter, but for the world, I am a nobody. They forgot me the moment I got married. To them, I am not even a tiny, momentary speck in this indifferent universe. My existence does not matter to anyone. So, why worry so much about some body like me?
You have spent days looking for me in this hot and dry desert. Even if you are able to find me and bring me home, what will happen? My father will berate me, my grand mother will keep telling cursing my existence because she feels that I am a liability that needs to be protected from this cruel world.
As a girl, it does not matter that I can work and earn on my own. It is not important that I can create my own life. To people like Papa and Dadi, I am still a liability.
There are women in big cities who are working and living their own lives but every now and then, something happens with one of them that reminds the people that girls are still vulnerable, they still need protection despite all their progress.
When that ‘something’ happens to one of these ‘independent’ girls living in big cities, the impact is felt by every girl living in every village, every town. That one incident is narrated to the girls day in and day out. It shakes up their confidence and faith in themselves and the world around them. The parents become even more fearful for their daughters. Some of them even wish that they had no daughters.
At that time, their achievements, their progress does not matter. It does not matter that women have made their mark in every sphere of life.
All that matters is that they are women and a nameless person can rip them apart in a fraction of second. He may be a nobody but every body in this world is scared of him just because he is a man.
Ma, don’t search for me even though I am your daughter. I do not matter. People are happier without me.
Finding me will destroy your peace of mind. You will forever be worried about me. Forget that you even had a daughter. With me gone, you are free to travel, to explore the world, to find yourself again.’
With a whiff of the mist, she disappeared. Shirin opened her eyes. She was in her bed in Jaisalmer. Shirin opened her eyes. She was in her bed in Jaisalmer.
He is just 14 years old and he is the world’s fastest piano player. Shailaza Singh talks to Lydian Nadhaswaran, the child prodigy who has taken the world by storm.
When I met Lydian Nadhaswaran, the 14-year old piano prodigy at India Music Summit which was held at the Fairmont Hotel, he was busy eating chocos and talking about his life. I watched him eating and answering questions without an iota of arrogance or entitlement which infects almost everyone who is catapulted to such fame in such a young age. Lydian’s talent has earned him appreciation from the best of the best in the world which include music maestro A.R. Rahman, talk show host Ellen DeGeneres (where he played the piano blindfolded) and billionaire Michael Novogratz who gifted him him a Steinway grand piano from half-way across the world.
The conversation was as interesting as this enigma of a boy who is only interested in making music.
Tell us about your journey to CBS Talent Show ‘The World’s Best’ where you won the million dollar prize?
My father (Varshan Satish- a Chennai-based music director) used to upload my videos on Youtube. We got a call from India’s Got Talent. I played the drums and piano there. All the three judges gave me a standing ovation. They told us that I was directly selected for the semi-finals. However, after coming back home, we did not hear from them for quite a while. A couple of months passed and my father called them up to inquire. They told him that since they do not get any TRP rating from South India, they could not telecast the episode featuring me. This really disappointed us. It was then my father decided to apply for international platforms rather than the ones in India. We applied to CBS and Ellen DeGeneres and I was the only contestant who was selected from India.
How did you first start playing the piano?
My father showed me a Youtube video of a Chinese prodigy Tsung Tsung playing the piano. I saw that and started playing the piano.
Now that you are performing on the stage, did you feel any pressure?
I don’t feel any pressure to perform. I am always excited to perform on stage.
Is it because of the atmosphere in the house, that you were drawn into music?
Of course, my sister sings. My father plays piano, keyboard and the flute. Since my childhood I have been listening to a lot of music.
Don’t you get tired of music?
No, when I play my instruments, it makes me happy. So, I don’t get tired.
You said you are home schooled. How do you learn Mathematics and English all on your own?
I have to learn English because it is the universal language. Mathematics too is important because I am learning Indian percussion so everything is about multiplication and division. So, I see a lot of YouTube videos and explore on the internet. I also read books on the subject.
How much of your learning would you attribute to YouTube videos?
Most of my learning has happened through YouTube. I watch the video and then I learn. Youtube has really inspired me a lot.
Now that you’ve travelled a lot, which is your favorite place in the world?
I love my home because my parents and my sister take care of me and I feel very happy there. I also like going to Los Angeles in USA. I have been there nine times. We will again be going in February 2020, so it will be my tenth visit.
What do you like about Los Angeles?
People are very nice and kind. I meet a lot of musicians and get to see a lot of music instruments. In Los Angeles, there is a shop called Guitar Center which is like an ocean to me. Whatever kind of instrument I want, it will be there in the shop. So, it is a kind of a toy store for me. My trip is never over without going to the Guitar Center. I have bought a synthesizer, a guitar and many small accessories which you don’t get here.
What do you think of the musical instruments of Rajasthan? Have you tried playing them?
Yes, I looked at the instruments that were on display in the hotel. I tried playing the drum and the violin like instrument (ravanhatha). I liked the tone of the ravanhatha as it gives more feel and makes me feel calm and happy.
What’s your favorite food?
I like everything that my mother cooks. I love to eat sambhar rice and idli, sambhar and dosa cooked by my mother.
What are the foods you don’t like?
I don’t like pizza, burger or sandwich and cheese. I did not like ice-cream earlier but now I only like McDonald’s ice-cream.
What is your relationship with your sister Amrithavarshini?
We both are musicians and best friends. She is about 3.5 years older to me. We only argue on music. I have this sense called perfect pitch. I can hear a note and tell if it right or not. My sister cannot do it and then we argue and then she agrees with me. However, I believe she is a better musician than me because she has been topping in music exams.
Do you watch movies?
I like watching animation movies. I am currently composing for a Malayalam animation film called Barroz which will be the fourth 3-D film in India and is being produced by the people who made ‘Chota Chetan.’ It is being directed by the well-known actor Mohanlal.
People kept coming to congratulate Lydian on his performance and accomplishments. He kept obliging them with pictures and handshakes. It was quite evident that though he loves flying high with his talent, he also has his feet firmly planted on the ground.
The interview was published on October 8, 2019 in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section
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