Of Permissions and Women

Why do women need permission from men to pursue their dreams or do what they want?

When we are children, we often ask for permission from our parents or guardians to do something new. However, that is perfectly okay since we are young and need guidance to understand the world. However, as adults why is it that most of the times it is the women who need permission from men and not the other way round?

Some days ago, I was talking to a very well-educated lady. Her only dream was to write a book. I asked her what is stopping her and she said that her husband did not ‘permit’ her. According to him, it was a frivolous pursuit and she should concentrate on more important matters like their children, her job etc.

This made me wonder. Why do women need permission from men to pursue their heart’s desire? For the woman in question, I would have probably understood her husband’s reluctance if she had expressed the desire to relocate to another city, state or country in the pursuit of her dream. Such a situation would require a detailed discussion since it would impact the children and every day life. However, here there was nothing like that. All that the lady wanted to do was to write a book and she was quite qualified to do it.

I have heard of women who want to study further or those who want to do a job but their husbands don’t ‘allow’ it. On the other hand, if the men want to pursue a new career or want to learn something new, they seldom ask for permission.

In the movie ‘Dil Dhadakne Do’ when Rahul Bose’s character informs every one that it was he who ‘allowed’ his wife to start her own business, Farhan Akhtar’s character questions him as to why did his wife need to seek permission from him because if we allow someone something we place ourselves a notch higher than that person.

So the question is that in the twenty first century where we are constantly shunning and fighting off gender biases, why do women need permission from men to follow their dreams? Why cannot they follow their dreams just like men?

Do you have any answers? Please do let me know.


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