As the day wound to an end, Arin found himself seated in Astha’s car once again. The usual hum of the engine filled the silence between them as she maneuvered through the city streets with practiced ease. He glanced at her, wondering how she had felt about the Secret Santa idea, but she looked as composed as ever, her focus on the road.
Deciding to break the silence, he asked, “So, do you like the Secret Santa idea?”
Astha sighed, a small smirk playing on her lips. “It’s… amusing. Watching grown adults skulk around leaving anonymous notes and tiny surprises is strangely entertaining.”
Arin chuckled. “So you don’t completely disapprove?”
“It’s harmless enough,” she admitted, her tone lighter than usual. “And I suppose it’s nice seeing everyone so enthusiastic about it. Office camaraderie and all that.”
He nodded, watching her out of the corner of his eye. “And you? Do you enjoy it?”
She tilted her head, considering. “I guess I do… but I’ve never been one for surprises. They tend to come with expectations, and expectations lead to disappointment.”
Arin found himself studying her profile, the way the dim evening lights flickered over her face. “Not all surprises are bad, Astha. Some are just… meant to make life a little brighter.”
She glanced at him briefly before returning her gaze to the road. “Maybe. But let’s see if this one lasts or if it fizzles out like most office traditions.”
Arin smiled to himself. “We’ll see.” As the car pulled into their apartment complex
Simon Rowe is a New Zealander who has fallen in love with Japan and the Japanese culture. His love affair started in the 90s and shows no sign of abating.
What made you migrate to Japan? Japan in the 90s was a very mysterious and closed country. The yen was very high. They wouldn’t allow the freelance writers and you had to have a visa sponsored. I really wanted to go to Japan not just because it was such a mysterious country but also for financial reasons as I could sell a lot of stories of Japan. So, my mother was the one who really helped me because she was reading a Sunday newspaper. She found an advertisement that was for English teachers in Japan. I applied and they accepted. I had to teach seven hours a night time and they sponsored my visa. So, day time I was writing and night time I was teaching. But if you are clever you can actually use the teaching as a way to learn about the culture because you get the students to talk about their culture. So, they get good lessons and you get a lot of material for your stories! So, you are getting the good oil for your writing.
When did you meet your wife? I met her in Japan in 1997 at a party. She liked travelling but not back packing. I introduced her to back packing and we travelled everywhere. Then we moved back to Australia. We had kids and moved back to Japan. She is a yoga teacher now. Her teacher who is a Japanese person lives in Delhi.
The bar depicted in Mami Suzuki
Why do you like about Japan? I feel at home in Japan because there is a strong sense of community. We have the children’s association, PTA and soccer association. I have two kids. My daughter is 16 years old and my son is 12 years old and a soccer maniac! At home, we are constantly switching between Japanese and English just like you switch between Hindi and English without even being conscious of it! How did you learn the Japanese language? I used to go out to the bars and restaurants. Bars are the best place to pick up the language because everyone is relaxed and they will talk to you if you are alone and a foreigner. In my city, western Kobe, they are very social people. It is a quiet city which is famous for Himeji Samurai Castle. So every day, hundreds of tourists, get off the train and walk to the castle and then walk back to the train and they are off. It is a lovely place because it has room to breathe and has beautiful people.
What is your relationship with writing? Oh! I had started reading at a very early age. I read books like Jaws, the National Geographic Magazines, Prison Escape stories. So, I had a sense of a story and then growing up in New Zealand you have sense of adventure and you are outside all the time. So, once you have lived the experience and have stories and adventures, then it is not difficult to write. So, I told my students to go out and have an adventure and then write about it. In the last 6 years, I turned to writing fiction because travel writing became too mundane and then we had articles like ‘the ten best places to have coffee in Rome’ or ‘the five best mountains to climb’. So there was really no story telling involved. For us Kiwis, telling stories is a part of our culture. Writing is really storytelling. Writing fiction gives this amazing freedom to create anything you want. That is really enjoyable.
What do you like about the Japanese lifestyle? Everything is very well organized and predictable in Japan. However, if you look closely, it is really like this double-edged sword. I like the fact that everything is predictable. The trains will run on time, the people will never be late, the customer service is the best in the world. They are very patient people. You expect things to happen because that’s the way it always happens. Therefore, you don’t waste time or get angry or irritated. However, by the same token, it can be a bit confounding when they stick to the schedule and the rules. The etiquettes, the rules and the manners are something that requires many years to learn. You cannot just charge in there and do what you want. Like I was in a train and there was an earthquake. The train stopped for about an hour and nobody said anything. I closed my eyes and all I could hear was people breathing. So, you have to be sensitive to the Japanese culture. The thing about the Japanese people is that they are very social and they love drinking and socializing. But they are very good drunks as compared to Australia. In Australia, drunks can fight and kill each other but in Japan even when they are drunk, they look out for each other. When they get drunk, they get noisy, they laugh a lot, they play instruments and then they go home and sleep. They are very nice natured and super welcoming people with almost zero crime. For an outsider, Japan may appear to be too strict, formal and structured but once you get to know it, it becomes one of the best places to live because there are no surprises. You have to have an open mind and it is all about give and take. Like for example, for me as a foreigner, it was difficult understanding why we needed to give a gift to someone who has given us a gift or why certain customs exist. Now, I have come to appreciate all these customs and rituals.
Do you like coming to India? It is my third time in India and first time in Jaipur. In 1992, I came from Katmandu and went to Agra. This was the time of the Hindu Muslim riots. I saw the Taj Mahal the next day and then there was a curfew and no body could leave the hotel because of the riots. It seems funny that I came the same time that the Ram Temple- Babri Masjid issue happened. It seems strange that I am coming back now when all is settled. It brings back a lot of memories. The first two trips were miserable. I got sick and I saw a man die in a very bad way. He put his head on the railway tracks. These things rather depressed me and I couldn’t enjoy myself. I was on my way to Jodhpur. Afterwards, when I was going to the airport, I asked a young boy to get me filtered water, which he didn’t. He got me normal water and I fell sick again. This time though it has been wonderful. Everything has been amazing. I am having the best time. I am enjoying the Indian people, the chefs, the taxi guys, the writers, the poets and the volunteers. They are not afraid to give their opinion. In Japan they don’t do that because there is this sense of maintaining harmony where you don’t have to upset anyone by giving your opinion. No one talks politics. So, I am really impressed. India has really changed but I can’t say the same for the tuk tuk drivers! They are the worst when it comes to driving and the money
This article by Shailaza Singh appeared in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on April 4, 2024.
Simon Rowe loves a good story. In fact, he is so fond of story telling that he signed up for an English teacher’s job in Japan and taught his students to talk about the Japanese culture in English. His students learnt English and he became a story teller.
When I read Mami Suzuki, the latest detective novel by Simon Rowe, it was as if I had found a friend in her. Like me, she is a single mother, struggling to make a living and raise her child. She works two jobs, struggles with the loneliness that comes with being a single mother and tries her best to cope with it. Mami Suzuki seemed so real that I had to know from her creator Simon Rowe if he had really met her in real life or if it was a channelling of sorts. Some excerpts from the rendezvous at the Jaipur Literature Festival.
Are you anything like your heroine Mami Suzuki? (Laughs). Yes to some extent, I am. I am middle aged, I live in Japan but that’s where the similarity ends. Mami is a composite character, a figment of the imagination but drawn from all the women that I know in Japan, who are middle aged, who are working hard (in some cases two jobs), might be single mothers. My wife too is a middle aged Japanese woman. She is very busy too. Mami means true beauty. So, was this character inspired by your wife?
(Smiles). That is what I will tell her! But it is much more than that. As a foreigner, I guess I can see and observe more details about the Japanese people and a lot differently as compared to the natives. Though I have been here for the last 27 years, Japan still looks new and fresh to me. In a way it is death by stimulation. There is just too much for a writer to take in.
Did Mami walk into your brain preformed or did you have to think her up? First of all, we start with the motivation. I wanted to tell a story where the character overcomes a lot of difficulties and succeeds in the end. About that time in 2020, I was creating a collection of short stories which was to be self-published through crowd funding. The motivation for the last story came from a leaflet advertising services of a female detective in Japanese language which is very rare. It showed a middle-aged woman dressed in short suit. I filed away this idea but then ideas have a life of their own. They pop up at unexpected times. I was reading detective series like Agatha Christie, Raymond Chandler, Arthur Conan Doyle, Alexander McCall Smith (the author of No.1 Ladies Detective Agency). So the idea came to me of a single mother who lived in Kobe, a place where I live in western Japan. A tale of triumph and adversity. So that is where I found the story. That’s how the character came about and it was built by research which including interviewing some Tokyo detectives as well. The thing is there aren’t many female detectives in Japan so the thing is you need a new spin on the old stereotype of the wine drinking, chain smoking detective with a woman waiting for him in the bar. So, I flipped it upside down. So, now I have the hard working, beer drinking single mother who has two jobs and she has her love interest waiting in the bar!
Mami you say is a work of fiction. However, when one reads the book, it seems as if she is real woman. Did you study single mothers to write Mami? Mami feels like a woman I know well, although I’ve never met anyone exactly like her. I know quite a few single mothers here in Japan. They are friends or acquaintances of both my wife and I, and so often we hear about their trials and tribulations, but not so much about their triumphs. I guess that was the motivation behind writing this story.
I wanted my protagonist to finish victorious. That is, by the end of the story, Mami retakes control of her destiny by going professional and ridding herself of the male-dominated hotel executive world. To go it alone is very risky in Japan, it takes guts and determination, but there aren’t too many options for single mothers, many of whom have to juggle work and family life to the best of their (financial and emotional) ability. I believe their lot has even gotten worse due to inflation (and wages not keeping pace with rising prices) and the ongoing recession, which means less full time jobs with benefits (although childcare remains sparse here in Japan) and more part-time jobs without benefits. I find there is more social stigma attached to single motherhood in Japan. My sister, who lives in rural Australia, is a single mother but she is lucky that she has a full-time job (with benefits) which allows her to work from home. There isn’t the same stigma in Australia either.
Japanese single mothers struggle to find childcare possibilities because they must travel to their place of work, which is more likely to be part-time rather than full-time, and therefore not possible to do from home. Japan was ranked 125 out of 146 countries for gender inequality, which is very negative indeed. I guess the other source of research has been my job as an English teacher. Most of my students now are female (I teach at Kobe Women’s University) and so I often read their very honest stories of family life and relationships with their parents. Writing gives them a chance to say things they wouldn’t say aloud in class. In a way, writing is a cathartic exercise and I feel many of them enjoy it for this reason. I certainly don’t mine their lives for details to add to my stories, but as a whole they give me a feeling for the single parent dynamic which exists here in Japan.
Tell us about your growing up days. I grew up in New Zealand. We immigrated to Melbourne for the final days of the schooling. I have younger siblings too. I finished the university and I became a travel writer. I was always fond of writing and I realized travel and writing together were really a good way to see the world. So for the next 10-12 years, I travelled around the world. I used to write a story, take photos and make a package and send it to multiple publications and be paid multiple times. We can’t do that now. I had a self-perpetuating existence where I was travelling with a back pack and had cameras and I had pretty wild life. Things I won’t do now. Like take small boats way way up to the jungle or ride a bus to Morocco. A lot of hard travel. It was stimulating and gave me something to write about because I believe if you write a travel story it should be authentic. Like for example, I met this guy who is chef and he makes the best chicken biryani in Delhi. So, it is not just about the food but the man also. With time, the competition became great to the point where I would go to a small island in the Pacific and discover someone from my rival publication was already there. Though I was working freelance, yet the competition was great.
…To be continued
This article by Shailaza Singh appeared in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on April 3rd, 2024
Just the other day, I went out with someone, Who was nice and kind , But didn’t feel like the ‘one’ But as he and I talked about all things under the sun, It gave me an insight about how life would be with the right one. He was a friend with no inkling of romance, But with him I could imagine that ‘one’ dance. Staying awake till the wee hours of dawn, Sitting in a place late after the crowds have gone, While he showed me places which otherwise I would have never seen, He did nothing but just by being there he fostered a new dream, As my mind wandered and wondered what it would be like to be with the right someone With the feeling he evoked and the vision he sparked.. The placeholder’s job was done!
पुनर जन्म सा कुछ पाते हैं , जब माँ बाप बन जाते हैं
काम उपदेशों से नहीं चलता है सैलाब सख्ती से नहीं थमता है कुछ नहीं बदलता जब तक हम नहीं बदल जाते हैं पुनर जन्म सा कुछ पाते हैं , जब माँ बाप बन जाते हैं
कुछ नया हो जब उनसे कराना चलता नहीं कोई पैंतरा पुराना जब तक खुद नहीं कर दिखाते हैं उनको कहे शब्द नहीं समझ आते हैं पुनर जन्म सा कुछ पाते हैं , जब माँ बाप बन जाते हैं
बीते लड़कपन की हरकतें अब उनके आईना में जब नज़र आती हैं खुद में खामियां भी नज़र आती हैं मिसाल कायम करने के लिए खुद सुधर जाते हैं पुनर जन्म सा कुछ पाते हैं , जब माँ बाप बन जाते हैं
हमारे हर कदम, हर सांस पर उनकी नज़र बरक़रार है ये कुर्बानी तो नहीं पर एक अनूठा प्यार है हीरे को तराशते हुए खुद कुंदन बन जाते हैं पुनर जन्म सा कुछ पाते हैं , जब माँ बाप बन जाते हैं. – शैलजा सिंह
She has seen and survived abuse. But Nilanjana Bhowmick refuses to believe that women are lesser than men in any way. In her search for the truth, she has dispelled all the lies that the women were told by their own mothers about how pleasing and serving their husbands and taking care of their children is the only aim of their lives.
Her mother was a detective police officer. Her father was a businessman. Every month, her mother would hand over her salary to her father who would then give her mother a monthly allowance. Every time he did not like the vegetable or dal that her mother or her grandmother cooked, her father would throw the utensils in a fit of anger. The witness to this exercise were the permanent stains of the dal borne by her living room’s walls. Though her mother was a detective police officer (one would think that she knew the law and people would be scared of her), she was constantly abused by her father. He did not want her to continue her job and for her mother, job was the only outlet she had, so she refused to give it up. Her father did not let her mother have friends or invite her colleagues home and constantly suspected her of having affairs with her colleagues.
Nilanjana Bhowmick’s Story in Time Magazine
These are not words out of a novel or a story. This is the life story of Nilanjana Bhowmick, an independent award-wining journalist from New Delhi and the author of Lies Our Mothers Told Us. Nilanjana has worked with a variety of well known media publications for the last two decades including BBC and the TIME Magazine. She was awarded by the European Commission and the Institute of Development Studies (IDS) in the UK for her work on gender and social justice and has been featured in the 2019 Women of Impact issue of the National Geographic Magazine. Her book Lies Our Mothers Told Us talks about the gender equalities inside India’s middle class.
Nilanjana Bhowmick with her husband Tathagata on their wedding day
ESCAPING PATRIARCHY Meeting Nilanjana Bhowmick at the Jaipur Literature Festival 2023 is a revelation of sorts into the human nature. It is difficult to believe that behind that candid demeanour and full-blown laughter lies a childhood of abuse and love. The interesting bit is that she could have escaped all that when she landed a gig with BBC. Yet she chose to come back to India. The conversation that ensued was quite riveting. When one asked her why she chose to come back to India, she said, ‘I had to come back to India as I believed that my true calling lay here. I know in a developed country there is security, there is money but I wasn’t happy in my work. I felt a lack of challenge. I came back to India in 2002-03 and I joined The Times of India Newspaper because I wanted to learn print journalism and my first assignment was to write about an old age home, which was being run by some minister. So, I went and met these old people living there. Most of their children were living abroad. Physically they seemed okay but I was struck by how lonely they all were. All their children were doing well in life but the parents had nothing to look forward too. When I came back home, I couldn’t sleep for three nights. I kept crying and I couldn’t forget the emptiness that I saw in their eyes. My mother who has herself been a cop said that as a journalist I couldn’t be that empathetic with my subjects otherwise I won’t be able to work. Over the years, I realized the wisdom of her words. It did take time to develop a thick skin but despite that I still get affected by the people I talk to. My therapist says this is because I am an empath or a person who tends to be acutely perceptive of the feelings or emotions of other people.’ What inspired her to write Lies Our Mothers Told Us? ‘Apart from my mother, I have seen a number of women being subjected to these kind of abuses and neglect. But most of them glorify it. Some of these women feel ‘lucky’ that they were ‘allowed’ to go outside and work so they show their gratitude by working hard inside and outside the house. For Indian parents, marriage is the be-all and end-all of their lives. They bring up their daughters to think that if they don’t get married at the right age, their lives aren’t great. Secondly, a lot of women want to get married because they want to escape patriarchy at home. Most women are always told that they are ‘paraya dhan’ and they can only live their lives the way they want only once they get married. For them, their ultimate aim of life is to get married. Some of them feel lucky enough to find someone who accepts them and loves them for who they are (at least in the courtship period) . But some are not so lucky and get boyfriends who mistreat them but still they get married to such abusive boyfriends just to escape the patriarchy of their fathers or brothers.’ But don’t you think Indian women have progressed a great deal in the past few decades? ‘Yes, to an extent that is true. But even today, most parents and even relatives feel that the only job of parents is to marry off their daughter at the right age. I remember when I had first got a chance to study abroad, my mom was very proud. My aunts had come over and were trying to dissuade my mother from sending me since they felt that sending me abroad won’t do me any good since ultimately my place is in the kitchen of my husband!’ But then is thinking about marriage wrong? ‘No, but don’t make that the ultimate aim of your daughter’s life! Educate her, let her explore the world. Don’t start saving for your daughter’s marriage. I had a friend whose mother used to gift my friend’s daughter some gold ornament on every birthday, so that she could build a substantial dowry for her.’
Nilanjana Bhowmick with her son Che
A BURDEN OR BOJH Most parents would say that it is the societal norms that compel them to marry off their daughters. A single girl in the family is looked down upon. ‘Yes I know but then the change has to come from the parents themselves. If you see in most families, it is the mothers who start worrying about their daughters’ marriages. The change will only come when the mothers will stop thinking that the marriage is the end all of the world and will start instilling confidence and a sense of belonging in their daughters instead of making them feel as if they are an unwanted burden or just a guest in her own house. I think we should normalize ‘being single’ for women.’ But there are people who say that we consider our daughters like our sons. Statements like ye hamari beti nahin beta hai are quite common. Many parents have encouraged their daughters to work and live an independent life. ‘Some people do tell me that they are very ‘progressive in their thinking’ and they treat their daughters like ‘sons’. But what they don’t realize is the amount of mental trauma that they put on their daughters by labelling them as ‘sons’. A daughter looking after her parents should be treated as a daughter, not as a son. Just imagine, what kind of a mental trauma does a girl go through- when she cannot do anything for the parents, she is labelled as a burden or bhoj. When she does something, she is called a son and not a daughter. In a way, she is not acknowledged as a daughter no matter what she does. Don’t you think that is unfair? As far as the women who achieve are concerned, I feel they are still in silos. Those who achieve something are mostly thought of as those who are intellectually better off, more privileged. Yes, there are women who are educated working professionals. But do you see the kind of pressure they have to bear? They are not just expected to take care of their job, earn money for the family but also take care of the children, attend the parent teacher meetings, make the children do the homework, take care of the home. Most of them are ‘allowed’ to work only if they promise not to burden their husband or in-laws with any of their ‘household’ responsibilities.’
Receiving the award for best story from Asia-Pacific at the Diageo Women Empowerment Awards in 2014
ACHIEVING EQUALITY
Have you faced any discrimination at work? ‘Yes! All my life I have faced discrimination. When I had first come to India after my stint at BBC and joined the Times of India, I didn’t know what salary was norm, so I took whatever salary they offered me since I wanted a footing in this field. After three months, a new guy (who is now my husband) joined at the same level as me and I came to know that his salary was fifty percent more than mine. I went to the HR and inquired but they said that I should have brought this up when I had joined and they made it very clear to me that if I am not happy, I could leave. Women have always been dispensable part of the workforce. My mom was also of the opinion that I was lucky enough to get the job and I should just do the job and not get into these salary discussions because she felt that if I lost my job, I would have to be dependent on some body. In my life, I have been pushed out of every newsroom that I have worked in because I tend to speak my mind and the ‘boys’ clubs in most organizations didn’t like that. I make no bones about the fact that I am ambitious, a go getter with new ideas, I have been open about my ideas and that has not gone well with most people. So, eventually, I have been a freelancer for most of my life.’ Looking at the current scenario, don’t you think achieving equality for women is quite a tall order? ‘ I think we can achieve this. Just look at the progress that has been made. My husband is a man who says ‘why not’ instead of ‘why’ whenever I want to do something new in my personal or professional life. Men like these also exist. Earlier women weren’t allowed to vote, today they vote, they weren’t allowed to drive or work in offices. Today the scenario has changed. So, I completely believe that there will come a day when ‘being single’ will no longer be an anomaly for an Indian woman. If we keep talking about it, if we keep having these discussions, I am sure there will be a day when being single will no longer be a cause of concern for a woman. I believe that there will be a day when parents will say ‘our daughters are not our sons, they are much better than our sons!’
This article by Shailaza Singh appeared in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on Sunday March 5, 2023
Durjoy Datta has ruled the world of romantic novels since 2008. All his books have been bestsellers in the teen world. This engineer turned writer is now also writing for movies and serials.
Judging by the crowds of youngsters following him at the recently concluded Jaipur Literature Festival, if Shah Rukh Khan is the king of romance in movies, Durjoy Datta can be called the king of romance in novels. Since 2008, with his first book ‘Of course I Love You Till I Find Someone Better’ he has been ruling the hearts of millions of teenage readers, especially girls. An engineer by education, Durjoy tasted success at the age of 21 while in the final year of his college. Slowly as each of his books started topping the bestseller lists, he decided to turn into a full-time writer with a specialization in romance. On reading his books, one would expect the author to be the traditional chocolate faced hero, however Durjoy Datta is quite different from the common perceptions. He is soft-spoken guy who believes that romance is the only pond he’d like to circle. Some excerpts from the tete-e-tat:
From the time you published your first book in 2008 to today, how have you evolved as a writer?
I think at that time, I was a teenager and had a different perspective on romance. After my first book was declared a best seller, writing became a means to earn money. But over the years, I have started enjoying writing and the kind of freedom I get with it. Hence, I would like to safeguard my career as a writer.
Why do you only like writing romance? Why don’t you experiment with other genres like fantasy or mystery etc?
To be honest, earlier romance used to be the main theme in my novel but now it has become incidental. I have also written mystery novels, but my books are still sold as romance novels since my strong point is romance. I know what the limit to my talent is. For me, it is the easiest to make the characters fall in love with each other. Even in television shows, you can do it for 6-7 seasons. In India, you cannot write fantasy unless it is backed by some mythology. I am just waiting that someone sets a precedent and I will hang on to it and write my own fantasy novel.
From a college boy to a married man and now a father. How has your writing changed with the changes in your life? I think now I cannot write about teenage romances or young romances the way I used to. I am 37 years old. I can only write what I feel strongly about otherwise it will look artificial and put on. When I am writing a book, I look forward to constructing a good story. All of my earlier writing was touch and feel-I just wanted to know what the characters feel like. Now they are more in-depth. In my book, The Boy who Loved which was published in 2017, the story of the boy was set in 1999. So for the story, I had to travel back to 1999 and remember how I was in that time. My latest novel When I Am With You is about a single mother who is also an entrepreneur and is dealing with a new relationship as well.
So, what kind of a person were you in 1999? How has the world changed from then to now? Frankly speaking in 1999, I was just 12 years old. At that age, I was really intimidated by women. In those days, even if you had a crush on someone, you couldn’t talk to them or express your feelings . But today, the society has shifted. Earlier it was all cloaks and daggers but now we can have open conversations about most things. Now people can express themselves. I remember in those days, there were two different worlds of girls and guys where each had their own groups. They had clandestine messages which if discovered by the elders could wreak havoc. Now the barriers have broken down even in the interiors to a large extent.
As a person who specializes in romance, you must have read a lot of romantic books in your young years? Actually, not at all! In my childhood, most of my reading has been dictated by my parents. Book reading was compulsory at bed time and no romance was allowed. I used to read Enid Blyton, John Grisham, Stephen King. After a while, ,my parents tried to introduce me to Salman Rushdie’s work. Initially I didn’t understand what he was talking about but then after a while I could relate to the books. In fact, I did not even know romance as a genre. Most of my introduction to romance has been while writing for television where you can create two extremely likeable characters and then make them fall in love and continue for the next 1200 episodes. People say with the social media and Kindle, paper books are not going to be around for long. What are your thoughts? I remember hearing about it in 2008. People used to say that with the introduction of tablets and smart phones, books won’t last for long but now it is 2023 and books are still here! Are you on social media? Has social media taken over books? Earlier I was on social media and when I used to get into my Instagram account, I used to spend hours swiping. I used to think that if I am doing this, my readers would also be doing this. But lately I have started noticing that many people have dumped Instagram and have started reading books. I really got hooked on to the social media when I became a parent. Parenthood is extremely boring- at least for the first few years. So, Instagram helps you to reconnect with your child in a different way. For example, when I see my daughter doing something cute, I record it and post it. When people find it cute and like it, I go back and look at that 15 second clip to see what is cute in it. This way I use my followers as a dopamine fix. But then this used to take over my life because I used to then think about what should be the next video to maintain the same likes. So, I pulled back. Now I am on social media just to sell my books. What is the difference between writing for television and writing novels? The difference between writing for television and a novel is a lot. Writing a book is a solitary exercise. There isn’t much money unless your book becomes a best seller. But in case of television, the money is huge and the feedback of the writing is almost instantaneous. For example, if I publish a book today, the feedback will come after six months but in case of an episode, the feedback comes the very next day through the TRPS. That allows the writer to change his ploy if the TRPs aren’t good or the audience isn’t enjoying the story.
So, how much does TRP impact writing for television? Actually TRP ratings are the life blood of television. The fact is that on television, a show cannot survive if it does not have high drama. Trends also dictate the show. For example, five years ago, there was this huge trend of getting animals on the show, so everyone followed that. Every show that you see on television starts with a very noble thought. They have a social issue they want to tackle through a story. But eventually every one has put on so much of money, that they try to get as much traction as possible. I remember Kuch Rang Pyar Ke Aise Bhi was perhaps one of the only shows in the history of television that went for so long because everyone involved in that show believed in that show. The interesting thing is that though it did not have the usual saas bahu drama or those stories of reincarnation etc and it was a very progressive show, it still did not get good TRPs. Despite that the producers, the writers and the creators kept giving the show time so that people could see its value. And people saw its value. It is one of the highest watched shows on YouTube. A lot of people go back and watch the show. But it did not get the traditional TRPs. Do you think this kind of TRP governed shows are impacting our society? Of course, there are conversations about this everywhere. For example, on social media a lot of people talk about toxic boyfriends but toxic husbands have been a theme on television for like years. Now its like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t want to show such a thing but when you show it, your show works and attracts TRPs. That really impacts me since I am so emotionally invested as a writer. Here book writing is way better because by the time the book comes out and actually makes an impact in a year or two, you are a very different person. Also, once the book is read and the reaction comes, I cannot change the book as per the feedback by the readers. Do you doubt yourself at times? There are times when I am afflicted with crippling self-doubt because honestly I had not expected that my first book would be published and would become a best seller. You see the difference between the kind of books I read and write is huge. I got published at 21 when I was reading books that were leagues and leagues ahead of my book. Then when people say that they have read and liked my books, I start wondering if they have read the really ‘good’ books. Had you not tasted success in such a young age, would you have continued writing? I have would have continued writing in some form or the other. Before I started writing books, I had a very successful blog. Lot of my blogger friends advised me to write. Had the book not worked, I would have continued writing and would have found another way of leveraging my writing.
This article by Shailaza Singh appeared in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on February 21st, 2023. You can also check out the video of the interview on https://youtu.be/h-DJ8jcLJ8Q
The school education Doesn’t teach you about your mental health, Physical excercise, English, Math and History All is taught. But no one delves into the mystery That is you! What you think, what you feel. Nothing is explored or revealed.
In a school, You are not an individual unique, Making you part of the millions is what they seek. No one tells you where your calling lies, You try to gather the grades But your heart cries Then based on those grades Which reveal nothing about the personality inside, They categorise you and decide Who you are and what you can do. But no one asks you. They put you into preset categories A very round peg into a very square hole They don’t care what your heart says They don’t bother about your soul. What is the point of an education That converts humans into cattle or herd? Or classifies someone as geeky or nerd? When will we have places that celebrate the uniqueness of humans? And let them flower and grow the way they are meant to be? Why do we still have the ‘one size fits all’ for everyone who is born on this planet Earth? If thats the case, then set up factories for babies, Why bother giving birth? – Shailaza Singh
The ones who pass away Never really leave For their breath becomes the air that rustles the leaves. The ones who pass away Are always around.. For they become the earth…the very ground… The ones who pass away Are always there.. For the sun and the rain show us their care They flow in the sparkling lakes, They shimmer in the stars, They become our guardians Where ever we are… The ones who pass away Now have many roles to play… For they appear as the moonbeams that meet you every day… For the ones who pass away Have served their time on this earth… Now they are free to be with all those who love them… Without all the limitations of time, space and birth…
I know you are watching…. flow like the wind… be like the rain…. be around… Watch over us… Until we meet again…
Once upon a time, in the land of kings, came an yearly festival that was adored and revered by all. It was about books, stories, authors, food, heritage and much more. But then the great storm of time blew in the land and all that remained were the authors, books and blank white walls.
‘Abhi to mandir bana hai aur murat ki stapna hui hai. Pran pratishta abhi baaki hai’. (The temple has been built, the idol has been installed. But the life spirit is yet to come). These were the words spoken by Padmashree Pushpesh Pant, the well known historian and a self- confessed foodie. The venue was the sixteenth edition of the Jaipur Literature Festival at the Clarks Amer Hotel in Jaipur. Last year, was the first time that JLF had been forced out of its original home in Diggi Palace Hotel and that too in the heat of March where people sweated profusely while tredding on the hot sands. This year, the God of seasons has smiled and the balmy winter sun has embraced people with open arms in the grounds of Hotel Clarks Amer. But has it remained the festival that it once was?
There was something that happened to you as you entered Diggi Palace for the Literature Festival. The old world charm of the building and its surroundings transported you to an era of Shakespeare or Dickens or even Enid Blyton or the old Jaipur where you could expect some royal person to welcome you or perhaps even imagine the tales of the lore. The walls of that place served as a perfect backdrop to the stories that were being narrated because the Palace itself housed a treasure trove of stories, an integral part of the heritage of Rajasthan. If you were more adventurous, you could probably smell a mystery or intrigue brewing amidst those green grounds or those ornately decorated rooms.. An interview with an author became an intimate affair peppered with stories as you sat listening to their anecdotes in one of the smaller anterooms or a tucked away corner.
If you were lucky enough, sometimes, as you shuffled through the jostling crowds you could bump into a Javed Akhtar or Gulzar or a Manisha Koirala or any such small or big celebrity. With some of the others, you could hope to say a hi at lunch or dinner. That was the literature festival we had grown to like and love, where anyone regardless of their caste, creed or income could enter freely to listen to the written word. A festival where a common man could meet a celebrity sans the forever present bouncers and body guards and relive, retell and perhaps treasure that one experience of meeting their idol for the rest of their lives.
I won’t be surprised if the person visiting the literature festival today would probably scoff at this narrative and even end up joking that perhaps I am undergoing a past life regression. Today’s literature fest has donned a new avatar. It has shedded the skin, bones, the blood of the pichla janam and has now become a full blown sheher ka mela albeit with a heart of steel. There is music, there are performances, there is drama but all wrapped in plastic casings. You can see them but you cannot touch them, let alone experience them. Or may be the entire festival is a buffet table set with ungarnished but seemingly good food.
Despite an entrance fee of 200 INR, the literati crowd has vanished and has now been replaced by selfie clicking fans. They aren’t interested in books or authors. Instead, they are just looking for a good selfie time. While walking around the literature festival venue, I initially almost felt guilty for disrupting these selfie masterpieces which were almost at every nook and corner but then after encountering a dozen or more with a hastily muttered sorry, I stopped apologizing for walking through their selfies and just walked away ignoring their glares.
On the first day of JLF, a strange incident happened. After lunch, I decided to visit the washroom for obvious reasons. However I found there were almost ten people waiting for their turn in that bathroom. I went to a floor above and discovered more ladies waiting their turn in this bathroom too. Someone advised me to try the next floor but when I went there, the floor was seemingly almost under construction or renovation ( could not ask anyone since there was no one around). Ultimately I reconciled to my fate and went back to the original washroom on the ground floor to wait for my turn. I had never faced this predicament in Diggi Palace for they always had a bevy of mobile bathrooms for those natural urges. Not that I am comparing or complaining. We should all learn to control our natural urges!
The crowds that thronged Gulzar’s or Sudha Murthy’s sessions were huge. Though it seemed as if her songs were adlibbed, people were still dancing to Usha Uthup’s songs. Many queued to get their books signed by their idols and perhaps that was where the fun was. In some sessions, people were busy scrolling their phones while the speakers droned on. Or perhaps that’s the new way of subconscious listening to enable better understanding.
I remember a dialogue from the movie ‘Band Baja Barat’. In a scene where Anushka Sharma and Ranveer Singh are trying to find a caterer for their wedding, their friend advises them ‘ Shaadi mein sabse zyada logon ko kya pasand hai? Khana! Woh saari sajawat bhool jayenge par khaana yaad karenge’ (people will forget everything about the wedding but they will remember the food that was served). Though this literature festival isn’t a wedding function per say, it is no less than one either. In the earlier days, one could expect to be introduced to new delicacies of the Rajasthani cuisine which made the literature festival an attraction for the lovers of food too. Today’s reality is quite different. There were those customary versions of sev matar or paneer or bajre ki rab which are perhaps as common place as a chola bhatura but it was no longer a food fest of the yesteryears. It was food, and food is for pure simple consumption, not for experiencing eclectic flavors. Veena, a home maker from Jaipur who visited the festival on Sunday said, ‘The food is so ordinary. Namak bhi kam hai (the salt is also less) We could have had better food in a restaurant. To think, we paid about 13,000 rupees for an entire day’s package. We did not even get to meet any celebrities during lunch. This is really a different festival. We weren’t expecting it !’
But then, people from Delhi or Punjab or apna Jaipur did not visit the literature festival to eat food or experience that wee bit of Rajasthan. They had come to listen to authors like the Nobel laureate Abdulrazak Gurnah or Shashi Tharoor or Deepti Naval or the plethora of other authors who had descended on the city. Most of them including Sudha Murthy, Shobha De professed their love for JLF in no uncertain words. They even said that this venue has more space and is much better than the old home of JLF. Perhaps they were right after all. The books were in the bookshop, the authors were on the dais, it was business as usual, what more could one ask for?
The culture was dusty and forgotten
On my way to the different venues of the literature festivals, I saw this little board which said ‘I love culture’. It was lying in a corner, dusty and forgotten.
This article by Shailaza Singh appeared in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on January 24, 2023
Imagine if you had everything you could possibly ask for. Or may be you are not that rich but are reasonably well off in the world. Your basic needs are met, you don’t have to struggle for your survival. Most people would call you lucky!
Many would advise you to be grateful. What if you aren’t? What if you are still sad and empty inside? What if you don’t even know what you are looking for yet there is a gnawing emptiness inside which is constantly asking you…what are you looking for?
Most people would call this condition, this malady depression and perhaps I would too. Because I have been suffering from it for the last few years. Before Covid, my life was busy. I was working 8-12 hours a day, taking care of my daughter, living with my parents. After Covid too, I was doing the same things except that I had lost my job. But then, I created my airbnb business, started writing more.
Yet in those quiet moments when I would be writing or was alone, I would miss being in the office…in any office. Not because I love offices but because workplaces have this quality of completely absorbing you in them. Whether it is about colleagues or work or the mindless gossip, you don’t get time for yourself. You are constantly engaged in your environment.
Your world is full of so many distractions that you hardly get to meet the real you. In those moments of quiet, when you actually meet the real you, it is more of a quiet shock than anything else. You find that person inside is just like the protagonist in the famous novel ‘ The Invisible Man’ . A smart persona camouflaging the nothingness inside.
For some wise souls, the solution to my predicament would be a relationship..a man..a friend. And perhaps that is what people do. They fill up that emptiness with another person’s presence. But then does that work or does that increase the silence even further?
Tom Hanks in Cast Away
What is the solution to this emptiness? Remain busy? Run around ? Run after something? I am often reminded of the movie ‘Cast Away’ where Tom Hanks character is marooned on an island in a plane crash. He doesn’t know how to get out of the island because the waves around the island keep throwing his boat into the island. He contemplates the idea of suicide but does not follow it because he is not sure whether he will end up dying or just being crippled. Finally after some years, he realizes the tides have changed and after some planning manages to escape the island.
Do all of us at some point in time get Castaway in an island where we have no one to understand our plight? The island in the movie was abundant with food, water, caves and most basic necessities needed for survival. Something like our lives.
Yet we want to escape…yet we feel empty…why? Do you know? Have you been in this situation ever? What did you do about it? Do share your thoughts in the comments section!
The sequel to my very first novel Faith- The Mystery of the Missing Girl is finally here! While I get the sequel for you….here is the very first promo… Do preorder the sequel on https://cutt.ly/2Zy1uv4 ! #mysteries #mysterybooks #mysterynovel
They sell stories of soulmates, Which people love more than fairy tales. But no one talks about how much devotion, commitment, sacrifices, the ‘happily ever after’ entails.
Stories of soulmates conceal more than what they reveal
Smell the flowers.. Instead of counting the hours… Go and watch the sky change hues.. For a while…just be you….
You were not meant to spend your life, Struck by celebrities, stars and their deceptive power. Disconnect a bit sometime, Go, watch the skies and smell the flowers.
There is a lot going on in the world. Especially in Afghanistan. Men, women and children making a desperate bid to flee from a land which has been conquered by terror again. There are no rights of anyone in that land. Only handful of people with guns wield the power of life and death over millions. They are living in a world where the basic right to survive peacefully is threatened.
Their trials and tribulations cannot be discounted. No one should be in that situation ever. But when I think of it, I remember all those people who keep talking about what is wrong with India as a country. Debates, strikes, issues and what not. I wonder what they feel about the situation in Afganistan. I don’t know about them but to an extent I am grateful that I live in a country which is not at war with itself.
I know there are problems, violence, catastrophes and lots of issues but at least in most parts, our day or night does not end or begin with the sound of gunfire or other weapons and dread in our hearts.
Yes, women face discrimination and many other problems but in most parts they can strive and struggle for a better life without having to fear for their very life. They don’t have to cover their faces in terror in most places nor do they have to give up their dreams.
Being an army kid, I have experienced the dread that fills your heart whenever you hear news of some upheaval in the area where your parent is. Trust me, living in that dread is not easy. Not hearing from your loved ones for days on end is not easy. And it is also not easy to live in an area where sometimes even the closing of a door sounds like a gunshot.
There is a difference between peace and uneasy peace. Uneasy peace does not last long. And peace cannot happen with violence.
So, all I am really saying is that we as the citizens of this country should be grateful for a lot that has been bestowed on us…and living peacefully tops that list.
The more I think of it, the more I feel arranged marriage is the most illogical form of two people coming together more so in the not so urban or educated segments.
A daughter is born much to the trepidation of the father who starts thinking about her marriage from the very beginning. The mother decides to train her in the household work not because those are life skills but because that is what she will do for the rest of her life in her husband’s house. She won’t be earning money or talking intelligently so her education is given the least importance. If it is free and if she has time, she goes, else not.
Her passion, her desires, her ambition mean nothing to anyone. Finally, she is married off to a stranger. A dowry is given, you can consider it a fee for her life long stay in her husband’s house or a thankyou from the bride’s family so that they dont have to worry about her any longer. Now she is expected to reprogram herself to accept her in laws as parents and her husband as the lord of her life. Unfortunately, there is no way of inducing partial amnesia in her…if there was, the in laws would have loved to use it provided the parents paid for it.
Each time she goes back to her parental home, she is expected to return with gifts and money because the gratefulness is expected gor a lifetime.The husband’s work is done. He has a sex toy and his mother has a maid cum punching bag. His father is happy because he keeps getting free money in cash or kind each time she interacts with her parents. A child is an added bonus. Only if its a boy!
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