Shailaza's Blog

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  • Have Love, Will Travel

    Travelling the world on a budget is not an easy affair. It is not just about adventures but also unforeseen illnesses and challenges. However, Ellen and Theo, now avid and experienced world travellers refuse to be defeated by diseases, mosquitoes and ant bites. Instead, they revel in adventures that involve sleeping under the stars in the desert or swimming with the whale sharks

    Not many people can dream of world travel in their 50s. Even if they do, the dreams don’t include hiking up the mountains or swimming with whale sharks and definitely not a bout of dengue or breast cancer. But Ellen and Theo have done it all and they don’t plan to stop anytime soon.

    Theo had always dreamt of swimming with the whale sharks. His dream came true in 2018, when the couple went swimming with the fantastic creatures in La Paz, Mexico. Ellen says, ‘‘Theo went twice. The first day he went (mid-December) was windy and chilly, so I opted to go the following day when the wind was forecast to diminish. Theo loved it so much the day I did not go, that he went again the next day with me. Following advice on TripAdvisor, we went down to the Burger King and went across the street to look for the panga boats that take tourists out to swim with the whale sharks. It was easy to find a boat. The cost was $38 each, and it included snorkel gear and fins, a guide who spoke English, and the boat ride. I use my own prescription snorkel mask but I did take the fins, and I’m glad I did because I had to swim like hell to catch up with a large whale shark.’

    Whale sharks

    She says, ‘The experience was wonderful one! To swim with whale sharks was oddly calming for me. I loved seeing Theo alongside a large one – my husband looked so small and human. It’s an image burned in my mind forever. Thankfully the whale sharks don’t mind humans swimming next to them but if you move too fast or too close, they will swim away fast!’

    But then not everyone was as lucky as they were. Ellen says, ‘Unfortunately, a woman in our group was a slow swimmer who didn’t try to go fast, and she went into the water last. She only saw one whale shark from a distance for about one minute before it sped away. She said the trip wasn’t worth it for her. (I’d add she didn’t really make the effort.)’

    But this slow travel around the world hasn’t been exactly a cake walk for this couple. While Ellen got diagnosed and treated for breast cancer while travelling in Split and Zagreb in Croatia in Eastern Europe, Theo battled dengue fever in Jaipur. Ellen believes that they were at the best place when it came to battling and overcoming the cancer and the fever. She says, ‘In fact, we are in the best possible place for Theo to recover. We had planned to stay in Jaipur for one month anyway. The apartment we rented is comfortable and nicely furnished, great mattress, air conditioning, spotless bathroom, many fans, well-equipped kitchen and a washing machine. It’s also ideally located around pharmacies and other essential shopping. Dengue is endemic here, and locals use things like goat milk, fresh coconut water, papaya leaf extract juice — a home remedy elixir said to bring up platelet levels. Our hostess made sure Theo was well supplied with the elixir.’

    She believes that the costs are way lower than the Western world. ‘The blood tests for Dengue cost between $3 – $21, depending on what exactly was tested. I can only imagine what such tests would have cost in the Western world. Even for cancer I considered treatment back home in the U.S. without health insurance, but with a price tag exponentially higher than abroad, that route seemed foolish when I knew I could get quality care elsewhere in the world for a fraction of the price.’

    But Jaipur has not just been a dengue experience for them. Ellen says, ‘One of the really cool things about Rajasthan’s capital city is that its people have a long record of trying to figure out the universe and humanity’s place in it. From karmic beliefs and kingly crematoriums, to a giant outdoor astronomy lab that has lasted centuries, there is a significant soulful vibe if you are open to it. We loved visiting Jantar Mantar, Hawa Mahal and Gatore Ki Chhatriya, which was quite a serene place to sit and relax near gorgeous architecture.’

    As travellers around the world, what is the experience that they would never forget? Ellen and Theo promptly reply, ‘Sleeping under the stars in Jaisalmer.’

    Theo says, ‘For two consecutive nights we laid and gasped and pondered and cuddled and eventually slept in the total blackness and silence of the universe that is the Thar Desert at the Indian-Pakistani border. Hardly any other tourists were around on this authentic, rugged adventure. Truly, the only audible sound in the night was the faint tinkling of the bells worn by our camels as they grazed freely in the distant scrub.’

    Ellen further adds, ‘Compared to the Sahara, which can stretch for hundreds of miles without a single tree or plant, the Thar is alive – especially in October. The monsoon just ended weeks before and it was a wet year, so small greenery abounds. Still, the terrain reminded me of West Texas or New Mexico. Farm folk worked the one crop of millet or wheat they scrape from valley fields before the parched dust is abandoned until next monsoon. We frequently passed grazing goat, sheep, and cow herds. In addition, over the next days, we saw plenty of deer, birds, lizards, beetles, eagles. The guides said poisonous snakes and scorpions are not an issue until the super dry summer time of April and May.’

    Theo says this was the best experience of his life. ‘The first afternoon we rode about 1.5 hours to the ‘preset’ dune-top camp where Ellen and I watched sunset with fresh tea (chai) and cold beer. As we left Barna, a car delivered six big, cold Kingfisher beers to our guides. We waited as they prepared dinner of tasty fresh vegetable masala, rice and handmade chapati bread. It was more than we could eat. More beer, a few shared stories, time for the stars. The guides put our cots far out where the Milky Way seemed to touch the sand. We loved the silence, solitude amidst a magnificent moonrise, the faint clanking camel bells and gentle night winds. We woke up to a pink desert sunrise with coffee, fresh fruit, porridge, and bread. We broke camp on camelback by 9 a.m. and rode three hours as the sun climbed and baked bush and bodies. At noon, we arrived at the one huge shade tree under which we had our lunch, chai, a warm beer and dozed off amidst some ant bites.’

    The adventure doesn’t end here. Theo reminisces ‘As the sun set again on this Thar Desert camping trip, we zigzagged the biggest dune yet, eventually arriving at another camp site where beds and cookware were kept under wraps. The camels were again released to graze, chai prepared. In the distance, the camels from earlier appeared. Guide Suru was now leading two young French women and a solo South Korean guy. They arrived at sunset with a surprise — a cooler with cold beer!

    They interacted with other travellers too. ‘Around the campfire, and food, we chatted with the other travellers. As always, our story of nearly seven years of vagabonding was a big hit. The French women were just beginning a one-year ’round the world journey. Early retired and comfortable in our 50’s in an uncertain world is a blessing indeed. As the skies darken, the guides accommodated each bedding request. We were spaced out over the huge hills of sand and time. Soon the endless blackness was broken only by star twinkles and bell tinkles. It seemed only minutes between the midnight moonrise and dawn of the day. Sleep was easy in the void of the Thar.’

    Looking at this couple, I wondered what is the secret of their staying and braving so much together in a world where marriages fall apart at a drop of a hat? Ellen says, ‘We have lots of common interests. We love travelling and we like doing the same things.’ Theo agrees, ‘We do have fights (big ones) but we know how to resolve them. We don’t keep grudges and egos. Whoever is wrong apologizes and makes it a point to mend the fences.’

    So, what advice would these seasoned world travellers give to other people who aspire to see this planet at least once? Theo says, ‘I think the most important thing is that you need to take care of your health. Medical expenses can be crazy. Keep fit, exercise and eat well. Then you also should plan for your retirement and travel way in advance. Don’t spend money just because you want a big car or a house. Spend on what you really need and write down everything you spend on. If we can see the world on a budget, so can you!’ He adds, ‘More than the budget, it is the sense of wonder and curiosity that makes us travel the world. We love knowing and understanding different cultures, experiencing different cuisines, and marvelling at this amazing planet called Earth.’

    This couple reminds me of lines from Farhan Akhtar’s movie, ‘Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara.’ (You don’t live twice) ‘Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho,toh zinda ho tum. Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise, aazad rehno sikho, har ek lamhe se tum milo, khole apni bhaayein, jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum. (If you are walking restlessness in your heart, you are alive. Remain free like the wind, meet each moment with open arms. If you are walking with curiosity in your heart, you are alive.)

    This article by Shailaza Singh was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 26 November 2022

  • Traveler not a tourist…

    If you happen to meet Ellen McGregor Kortan (51)  (Ellen) and Theodore Kortan (59) (Theo) at the first glance, this couple would seem like ordinary American tourists. However, when you start talking to them, you realize that they are way different than the other jet-setting, destination hopping tourists who frequent Rajasthan. They call themselves ‘slow travellers’ and have been travelling the world on a budget (less than $200 per month) and been to more than 20 countries across four continents since 2015. They have visited Mexico, Belize, Guatemala in South America, Morocco in North Africa, Portugal, Italy, Spain, United Kingdom, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Montenegro, Albania, Greece in Europe, Singapore, Malaysia, Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Indonesia, Philippines in South East Asia. Now they are on a tour of India and have visited Mumbai, Jaipur, Ajmer and are planning to visit Chennai, the whole of North East India and more.

    My rendezvous with these slow travelling retired journalists happened in Jaipur, Rajasthan. I met them at a bakery where they were eating rice crackers and drinking milk. They had just gotten off the train from Udaipur and were looking for their Airbnb. When I met them Theo was trying to ask the bakery owner a question which the latter could not understand. I helped by translating for him. On a closer look, Theo faintly resembles the well known actor Pierce Brosnan (his older version). He and Ellen have a perpetual twinkle in their eye which makes people approach them and even taken photographs with them. Theo says, ‘ I don’t know what is it with us that people love to take selfies with us’. He throws up his hands and says, ‘We are no celebrities!’

    This couple has been together for more than a decade. When Cupid struck, Theo was a videographer in Channel 5 in USA while Ellen worked there as a producer. When they talked about their dream of world travel, it didn’t take them long to realize that they were meant to be together. After marriage, they started planning their retirement and consciously decided not to have children. In Ellen’s words, ‘We call ourselves ‘Earth Vagabonds’ as we love wandering on this planet. We didn’t want to retire and relocate to one specific place. Instead, we chose to wander around and see the world. Theo retired at 52 and I retired at 43 in 2015.’

    So, where does the money to travel come from? Theo says, ‘From a very young age, my dream has been to travel the world. So, I have always lived frugally and well below my means. When Ellen and I started dating, I shared my dream with her and travelling the world on a budget became her dream too. We started saving very early (in America, you can ask your employer to save a percentage (in my case 19%) of your salary  and put it in a different account, which can then be withdrawn as a lumpsum). We also made a lot of wise investments. Plus, we also own a modest home in Cleveland, Ohio which we have rented out for a modest passive income of $700 (INR 57,400) per year.

    Ellen says, ‘Theo is a very shrewd shopper. Whether in America or foreign countries, he always hunts for the best deals and the lowest prices, which makes saving easy. We often hunt for discounts. We don’t buy a lot of clothes. We have a few pairs; we wear them out and then buy new ones. In America, I had just one car for most of my adult life as compared to other Americans who buy a new car every two or three years.  Moreover, we don’t spend a lot of money on five-star hotels or ordering food. Instead, we rent Airbnbs everywhere we go. We don’t use airplanes where we can opt for trains or buses or cars. We have our own kitchen where we cook our own food, shop at the local market and live like the locals. There are times when we have been over charged by the locals but then soon, we make friends with them and they charge us normally. For example, just the other day, I went shopping for coconut water. I found a shop some blocks away from my Airbnb. The first day, the guy charged me 80 INR. The next day when I went again and started talking to him, he took just 40 bucks for a coconut water. In fact, he even invited me to visit his own and I met his family!’

    Theo agrees. ‘The one thing that we have realized in slow travel is that people are almost the same everywhere. No one is really bothered about politics or religion or caste and creed. All they really want to do is live a good life and raise their children well.’

    So, what has been their travelling experience like? ‘Oh! It’s been an amazing experience,’ says Ellen. ‘We have walked the Sahara Desert, we swam with the whale sharks in La Paz in Mexico, we have hiked over night to see the active Fuego volcano in Guatemala. We also lived with the elephants for eight nights and eight days in Thom Pai’s Elephant Camp in Northern Thailand. We also jumped off waterfalls in Bali. But perhaps one of the most challenging experiences was in 2017 when we hiked overnight to see the active Fuego Volcano in Guatemala. This was some days before Theo’s 54th birthday and before the deadly eruption of June 2018 which nearly killed 200 people. Interestingly, Theo was the oldest male tourist and I was the oldest woman in that group (everyone in that group was in their 20s or 30s). But then one of our guides, Florencio was 55 years old which made us realize age is just a number. We hiked up the Acatenango Volcano (11,88 feet above the sea level) to see the Fuego Volcano eruptions. My legs burned, my knees throbbed and my hands were filthy, yet it was one of the best experiences. For Theo, the hike was like a walk in the park. His quads are in excellent shape, having played ice hockey for many years. I never took care of my physical fitness the way he did throughout life – until I got sober. Theo has always been extremely fit. For this hike, he carried up our two-person tent, sleeping bags and foam mats. Also, he carried the extra weight all the way down.

    We camped at Acatenango and thankfully it didn’t rain that evening but it was cold. We slept in our tents and we listened to the rain pelt the tent. At about 2 a.m., I saw lava spew from the volcano against the night sky. I couldn’t make it up to the summit. The steep trail was slippery from the rain the night before and my cheap sneakers weren’t exactly getting a good grip. Hiking boots would have been ideal – but we don’t usually hike so we didn’t carry hiking boots. I probably would have fallen as much with the proper shoes because my legs were so tired and sore. But one thing that I can say is that it is quite crazy to see an active volcano. At first, the volcanic eruption (which happened in the day) caught us quite off guard. It was an explosion of lava and almost like red vomit coming out of a mountain! I could never get used to the subsequent eruptions through out the night and next morning.’

    Would she do it again if given a chance? Ellen says, ‘This was quite an experience I won’t ever forget. Though I would love to repeat it, but I don’t think I could do it again.  At that moment, I loved it – pain and all. I’m not really a hiker. I’ve done Observation Point and Angel’s Landing at Zion Park in Utah, USA, along with the whole Bryce Canyon. I hiked up Guatemala’s Pacaya volcano. Those hikes were all like ‘walks in the park’ for me compared to this one. My legs were quite stiff after the hike but the views the entire way are incredible – not just Fuego and Aqua. The various forests, the volcanic scrub areas, the incredible feeling to have hiked up high enough to be above clouds.’

    Does she plan to hike again? ‘Yes, we are planning a low hike in the Himalayas but not as strenuous.’

    To be continued..

    This article by Shailaza Singh was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 25 November 2022

  • Let tranquility enchant you!

    The winter sun’s serene rays,
    These tranquil days,
    A city that pulses with simple joys,
    Away from tension and the noise…
    Come and stay amidst beauty, culture and simplicity..
    Spend some days in Shailaza’s Airbnb in the Pink City….
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    Shailaza’s Airbnb

  • Shailaza’s Airbnb

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  • The curse of plenty

    Imagine if you had everything you could possibly ask for. Or may be you are not that rich but are reasonably well off in the world. Your basic needs are met, you don’t have to struggle for your survival. Most people would call you lucky!

    Many would advise you to be grateful. What if you aren’t? What if you are still sad and empty inside? What if you don’t even know what you are looking for yet there is a gnawing emptiness inside which is constantly asking you…what are you looking for?

    Most people would call this condition, this malady depression and perhaps I would too. Because I have been suffering from it for the last few years. Before Covid, my life was busy. I was working 8-12 hours a day, taking care of my daughter, living with my parents. After Covid too, I was doing the same things except that I had lost my job. But then, I created my airbnb business, started writing more.

    Yet in those quiet moments when I would be writing or was alone, I would miss being in the office…in any office. Not because I love offices but because workplaces have this quality of completely absorbing you in them. Whether it is about colleagues or work or the mindless gossip, you don’t get time for yourself. You are constantly engaged in your environment.

    Your world is full of so many distractions that you hardly get to meet the real you. In those moments of quiet, when you actually meet the real you, it is more of a quiet shock than anything else. You find that person inside is just like the protagonist in the famous novel ‘ The Invisible Man’ . A smart persona camouflaging the nothingness inside.

    For some wise souls, the solution to my predicament would be a relationship..a man..a friend. And perhaps that is what people do. They fill up that emptiness with another person’s presence. But then does that work or does that increase the silence even further?

    Tom Hanks in Cast Away

    What is the solution to this emptiness? Remain busy? Run around ? Run after something? I am often reminded of the movie ‘Cast Away’ where Tom Hanks character is marooned on an island in a plane crash. He doesn’t know how to get out of the island because the waves around the island keep throwing his boat into the island. He contemplates the idea of suicide but does not follow it because he is not sure whether he will end up dying or just being crippled. Finally after some years, he realizes the tides have changed and after some planning manages to escape the island.

    Do all of us at some point in time get Castaway in an island where we have no one to understand our plight? The island in the movie was abundant with food, water, caves and most basic necessities needed for survival. Something like our lives.

    Yet we want to escape…yet we feel empty…why? Do you know? Have you been in this situation ever? What did you do about it? Do share your thoughts in the comments section!

  • The Gnawing Emptiness Within…

    The emptiness within

    It gnaws at your insides,

    There is nothing but silence within.

    There is an empty feeling,

    Whether you lose or you win.

    The fire within is long gone, not even the embers remain,

    You wonder if you are going mad or were always insane.

    The passion, the purpose that brought you alive,

    Has disappeared into the thin air.

    That version of you- ‘the go getter, the achiever’

    Is no longer there.

    You decide on a plan, the night passes, you forget the plan,

    Nothing pleases you; nor money nor love neither your dream man.

    The void keeps expanding, like a blackhole threatening to eat you from the inside,

    You look at your dreams drifting far away, in between a great chasm, a great divide.

    Will you ever be that person, will you ever win the game?

    Will things change or will they remain the same?

    There is no mate, no friend, no one but you in this dark, vast ocean of despair.

    You have called for help for ages, but it seems no one is there.

    Will they realize you need them? Do they really care?

    Will your God heed your silent, unspoken prayer?

    You have no one, in reality you are all alone.

    People are busy, when you call on their phone.

    Whatsapp, Telegram all messages fail,

    When finally the truth of your friends prevails.

    You wonder looking at the silent horizon, the deep blue sea.

    Will some one rescue you or will you wake up from your sleep?

    Will you finally swim to the shore or will you sink deep?

  • Finally…get to know the truth of Faith- The mystery of the missing girl!

    Faith: The mystery of the missing girl

    The sequel to my very first novel Faith- The Mystery of the Missing Girl is finally here! While I get the sequel for you….here is the very first promo…
    Do preorder the sequel on https://cutt.ly/2Zy1uv4 !
    #mysteries #mysterybooks #mysterynovel

  • Oh Darling! Gift me an Endeavor car!

    The rishta was fixed. She was in seventh heaven. After all, she had finally got the boy of her dreams. What could she want? But the boy wanted- an Endeavor. He told her if she really loved him, then this would be her wedding gift to him. He didn’t talk about a return gift.

    His mother too wasn’t far behind. She told her mother that since they were the ‘ladki walas’, they had to keep giving more and more. His mother told her mother that she should be prepared as they may ask for a BMW or an expensive flat in a metro city. She also told her mother that the boy would only listen to her so she gets to govern every aspect of their lives…right from where newly weds will go for their honeymoon to how the girl will live in the house. When her mother asked his mother why she wanted such a lot of dowry, the latter replied that she has a daughter to marry off. How else will she give her dowry if she doesn’t take first?

    Her mother had heard enough. She told his mother to live happily ever after with her son and her demands. She and her daughter weren’t interested.

    Dowry is such a lovely word for the boys and their relatives. Tax free money just for getting married to the girl. How easy can it get? While the other mortals slog their butt to earn lakhs and prove themselves worthy of crores, these enlightened beings just raise a boy and pocket billions. The boy is a commodity, his education is an investment, he is lamb being raised for selling to the highest bidder. It does not matter how intelligent, smart or beautiful the girl is. She is just a complimentary gift. The real gift is the return on the investment with compounded interest. I am glad her mother said no to his mother instead of giving in to her demands and making her daughter the serving bowl of every new demand.

    And if all men and their mother’s think this way, what’s the point of girls getting married? They might as well as remain single all their lives. If you can earn your own bread and think on your own two feet, the world is your oyster!

    Do you agree or you believe in gifting an Endeavor Car?

  • “Meena-Maut Mubarak Ho!”

    They were successful, beautiful and had the world at their feet. Yet they lived lonely, sad lives and died even lonelier deaths. Is it that when a woman gets fame, wealth and power, she also gets the curse of loneliness and bad relationships? Why can’t a woman have it all? Why did Nargis Dutt congratulate Meena Kumari on her death in a letter that was published in an Urdu magazine called Shama and collated in a book titled “Yeh Un Dinon Ki Baat Hai” by Yasir Abbasi?

    Nargis wrote”
    “-Happy Birthday
    -Wishes for your wedding
    -Happy Diwali
    -Eid Mubarak

    I have often offered as well as received these wishes on numerous occasions.
    But…
    “Congratulations on your death”
    I have neither heard or said this earlier.
    Meena, today your baaji (elder sister) congratulates you on your death and asks you to never step into this world again. This place is not meant for people like you.

    Meena Kumari


    I gave Madhubala her last bath; the hands that placed the shroud on her were mine. I was holding his hand when filmmaker S.U. Sunny breathed his last. I have seen many people- from the film world and otherwise-pass away before my eyes, but no instance can match the profound effect that Meena Kumari’s death had on me. I was intensely moved despite the fact that I wasn’t present with her during her last moments-neither did I give her the customary final bath, nor did I put the shroud on her body-and I couldn’t see her depart on her final journey. I was in Jammu on the day that Meen Kumari died. Somehow, I was restless since I woke up that day and bad thoughts kept crossing my mind. It seemed as if something terrible was about to happen, and indeed it did-a tragedy so huge that I will never be able to forget.


    After arriving in Bombay, I went to the graveyard where she was buried. I cried more at her grave than I did at the death of my mother. I could gain composure only when my ears could almost hear Meena ask me to stop crying.
    One day I received a call from my husband who was away in Madras shooting for Main Chup Rahungi . Since it was going to be a long schedule, he asked me to come over with the kids. I reached Madras with Sanjay, who was two and a half years old then, and Namrata who was barely two months old. We stayed at Hotel Oceanic and Meena’s room was close to ours. Accompanying Meena was her sister Madhu and Baqar Ali. We met for the second time here. She greeted me as soon as she saw me and said, “I have great regard for you and I hope you won’t mind if I call you ‘baaji’. An instant friendship developed between us.
    Once, Dutt sahib wanted to go out for Chinese food and an invitation was extended to Meena too but she said that she was tired after the day’s work and had already eaten early. She also offered to take care of the kids while we were away.
    When we returned at 11 o’ clock, the kids’ nanny informed us that both the children were still with her. Entering her room quietly, I saw both of them asleep on either side of Meena, who has gently placed a hand each on Sanjay and Namrata. The nanny told us that Meena had duly tended to all the duties-from taking Sanjay to the toilet to changing Namrata’s nappies and from preparing their feeding bottles to singing them loris, she did it all on her own.
    I could see the glow and contentment on her face. I felt that it was indeed a misfortune that though she was a woman and also a wife, she wasn’t a mother yet, and how complete her life would be once she’d become a mother.
    I couldn’t meet her the next day. We didn’t meet for several days after that but one night I saw her walking in the garden of the hotel. She was panting and when I asked her the reason, she said, “Baaji, I eat tobacco and sometimes that results in palpitations.”
    “Meena, this is not due to tobacco,” I told her. “You look very tired. Why don’t you rest for a while?”
    “Baaji, resting is not in my destiny. I will rest just one time.” Her eyes turned to the ground as she said that.
    I asked her, “Meena, don’t you want to be a mother? Don’t you feel like having kids?”
    She replied, “There is no woman who doesn’t want to be a mother.” Her eyes welled up- the tears perhaps conveyed the story of her life.
    That night there was some noise in Meena’s room- sounds suggestive of violence. Next day we came to know that she wasn’t feeling well and would not report for work.
    I caught hold of Kamal saheb’s secretary Baqar and spoke to him in direct terms, “Why do you want to kill Meena? She has worked enough for your sake. I know how an actress feels and how mentally exhausting things can get. For how long is she going to feed you?”
    Baqar saheb replied, “Baby, why don’t you understand? When the right time comes, we will rest her.”

    Kamal Amrohi and Meena Kumari


    After that I saw Meena hiding herself to cry. Just a look at her eyes and one could sense that the tears would roll out any moment, but she never let that happen. I said to her, “I can understand your pain. You have to be brave and crying like this is of no use. You’re like a younger sister to me and henceforth I’ll call you ‘Manju’.”
    We couldn’t meet for a long time once were back in Bombay, though one kept hearing stories about her. One day, I heard that she had walked out of Kamal saheb’s home and had started living in Mehmood’s house. Meena had a showdown with Baqar on the sets of Pinjre ke Panchhi and matters got so turbulent that she did not step into Kamal Saheb’s house again. I never broached this subject with her.

    Kamal Amrohi with Meena Kumari


    Soon enough, the excessive consumption of alcohol had weakened her liver and she was down with jaundice. When I visited her at Saint Elizabeth Nursing Home, I was careful that I didn’t mention anything that could embarrass her or hurt her. Referring to the yellow tinge on her skin, I said, “This shade of yellow is so pretty. Manju, you are free but of what use is such freedom when you are bent upon killing yourself?”
    She replied, “Baaji, my patience has a limit. How dare Kamal saheb’s secretary raise his hand on me? When I got the incident communicated to Kamal saheb, I thought he’d come running and immediately fire Baqar, but he said, ‘Come home and I will decide things here.’ What was there for him to decide? Now it’s me who has decided to not go back to him.”

    Dharmendra and Meena Kumari


    Then, a new person entered Meena’s life- Dharmendra. She was so happy- it was almost as if she had got hold of the entire wealth of the world. This was the most beautiful phase of her life and made her feel thoroughly blessed. However, the good times are short-lived as a misunderstanding resulted in the two of them drifting apart. Dharmendra walked out of her life and left her heart-broken. Shen couldn’t cope up with the loss and hit the bottle.
    She would say, “Baaji, solitude is my destiny. I do not pity myself and neither should you.”
    Slowly, Meena started to inch towards death. I couldn’t bear to see her like this and advised her to forget the past and begin her life afresh.
    I got a call from Meena on 3rd February -the day of the premiere of Pakeezah.
    “Baaji, the film that you got me to work on is being premiered today. You have to come.”
    When I reached there, she stood up and embraced me. I had to leave after the interval because my husband was down with fever that day. I promised Meena that I would tell her my opinion on the film once I saw it in its entirety. I don’t know if that will ever happen- I haven’t been able to gather courage to watch that film since. I can’t even bear to listen to the songs of Pakeezah on the radio now, how can I pull my self together to view the film?
    How Meena resumed work on Pakeezah is a story in itself. Kamal saheb wished to have Dutt saheb in the film and wanted to sign some other actress for Meena’s role. Dutt saheb mentioned to me if Pakeezah was made without her, the film would lose its allure. I met Meena and told her, “Manju, if this film remains incomplete then it will be a great calamity. Tired of waiting for you to come back, Kamal saheb has now started looking for another actress. If you agree, I can talk to him and facilitate your return.” She just said, “I’ll do as you say.”
    I couldn’t go to her during the next few days. Then, I left for Delhi and to Pathankot and Jammu from there. Before leaving, I passed on a message informing her about my travel and that I’d meet her after I come back on 1st April. She asked her sister Madhu to tell me that she wouldn’t be around when I return. Madhu did not convey that to me. Had she done so, I would’ve never left Meena.
    Not too long before we last met, there was a preview of her film Gomti ke Kinare at the mini-theatre in our house. The story of the film was the story of Meena’s life as well. Though she bore pain and hurt herself for others, no one could realize her worth. Left with no one who could lover her back or who she could call her own, she lost the will to live. A woman doesn’t need a friend-she yearns for a family. There was a void in her life that never got filled. No one really cared for her-all were like indifferent strangers. She wandered around looking for a drop of love but her thirst for it remained unquenched. She writhed in torment, lived a lonely life and eventually died a lonely death.”

    Nargis and Meena Kumari


    -(Meena -Maut Mubarak Ho!,published in Shama- June 1972)
    (Excerpts from “Yeh Un Dinon Ki Baat Hai” by Yasir Abbasi)

    To be continued…

    This article by Shailaza Singh was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 19 April 2022

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  • Are you waiting for someone?

    Are you waiting for someone to live your life?

     Some days ago, I was chatting with a person I had met on the net. The guy was single and was looking for a friend/relationship. He is working in a well-known company in a senior position and he enjoys his work. He told me about how his work keeps him busy every day, sometimes even in the evening or night. When he does get time, he loves to sleep for long hours. Most of his off days are spent in answering work emails and messages because he said that he has to read a lot before he approves anything. When I asked him about what he is looking for in a mate, he said that he is looking for some one who he can call his own, some one he can make time for in his busy schedule. I asked him if he makes time for his own self. His reply was that he was waiting for some one who will help him to do that and kill that silence within him.

    I found his answer intriguing and I asked him if he ever did things for fun. He laughed and said that he wasn’t a kid anymore. I asked him if he did little things that gave him happiness; things like buying balloons or just dancing with or without music for no reason or just talk to himself. He was horrified at the idea of talking to himself. ‘People will start considering me mad if I talk to myself!’ he said.

    This conversation made me wonder how many of us wait for that perfect day, that next big thing, that special person to start making friends with ourselves and actually living our life? From what I have understood, life is not one long saga but a short story of every day. We keep waiting for the saga to playout and don’t even stop to listen to the story that plays out everyday!

    Don’t wait for someone else to introduce you to yourself! Know yourself before you start looking for friends in the world!

    #loveyourself

    #dontfollowanyone

    #beyourself

    #beyourownfriend

  • The Tale of Two Countries

    India Vs China

    For most Indians, while Pakistan has been about love and hate, China has been an enigma of sorts. They gorge on the Indianised versions of the Chinese foods; love buying cheap Chinese trinkets and gadgets and even watch dubbed versions of Chinese movies.  However, China is much more than what meets the eye as is evident by Maroof Raza’s latest book, ‘Contested Lands’.

    When it is about India’s neighbours like China and Pakistan, I always remember a joke I had heard a long time ago. Once, all the countries decided to visit God in his heaven to ask for favours for their respective lands. The Russians complained that their winters are so cold that they can hardly breathe while the Africans cry about the hot desert and scorching summers. Similarly, some countries complain about the excessive rains while others bemoan the kind of citizens they have. Suddenly one of them looks at India and says, “God, you have really been partial to India haven’t you? You have given it a varied climate, plenty of sun and rains, fertile lands and intelligent people!’ Hearing this, every body starts fighting with God. God smiles and says, “Quiet my children! It is true that I have given India everything. But then I have also given them very nice neighbours too.

    Contested Lands By Maroof Raza

    So what is our equation with China? A majority of Indians survive on cheap Chinese goods (some don’t even know that they buy goods made in China). While the match between India and Pakistan elicits the nationalist sentiment, there is very little that creates that kind of passion in the mind of an Indian where China is concerned. Yes, there was some furore over TickTock and banning Chinese apps and more during the recent Doklam standoff, not much has been done for the issue.

    Most of us are unable to even fathom the world politics around the relationship between India and China.  Why does USA keep telling India that China is building up bases near the Indian border or why do we have skirmishes with China every now and then? These and many other questions made me read the recently released book ‘Contested Lands’ by Maroof Raza, a former Army officer and a well-known media commentator on global military and security issues. The book was an eye opener and so was the candid tet-e-tat with the author.

    Nehru with Chinese Premier Zhou En Lai

    An old-time friend or foe

    In your book you have stated that Nehru considered China an ‘old time friend’ and wanted to build friendly relations with India’s aggressive neighbour. Infact in the Panchsheel Treaty which was signed between India and China in 1954, India accepted  Tibet as a part of China and gave up its extraterritorial rights over Tibet and legitimised the Chinese claims over Tibet when the entire non-communist world was condemning China’s occupation of Tibet. India also surrendered its three extraterritorial Indian Army outposts, stationed since 1904, under the treaty of Lhasa, when it agreed to withdraw its troops from Yatung, Gartok and Gyantse in Tibet. Moreover, India also offered China the India-run post and telegraph facilities in Tibet. The question is why wasn’t Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru not interested in liberating Tibet or siding with them?

    From what I understand, firstly Panditji had a belief that being friendly to a new emerging country like China is a better way to establish new equations with China. He was happily oblivious of China’s historical animosity towards India. Please remember in the initial years when China came into being, Lord Mountbatten was the head of Indian state. So, China saw India as the extension of the British Raj and Britain was also talking in terms of India being centre of the commonwealth and the dominion status that they wanted to extend to India like they had Australia and Canada.

    The second was Nehru in his idealism believed that if you are nice to a new country which is still finding its feet, it was a better way to go about building better future relationships and ensuring your security with your large neighbour. At that point in time, he had no idea about Mao’s ambition to take over Tibet. He felt that Tibet was a buffer enough. China and Nehru both were engaging with the Soviet Union. So, he thought that both India and China were in the same boat. It is typical of people who are western educated to become anti-west.

    Nehru was running the policy for foreign relations. Gandhi ji was known for non-violence and Nehru wanted to be known for non-alignment. So, he thought his way was the right way. When you are so obsessed with your vision you don’t tend to look right or left. He went for a visit to China and came away from there with all sorts of false promises by the Chinese. Nehru was in a way like what our prime minister Narendra Modi is today. He was so powerful that no one could stand up to him including Sardar Patel. So, he must have told the latter, to handle the integration of the states and let him handle the foreign affairs. Mao  Zedong (President of PRC  (People’s Republic of China)) wanted to cut Nehru down to the size because his profile was becoming larger than life in the international arena. Today, Modi is also being seen by the Chinese in a similar light. Who knows what will happen in the future but I am just saying that there seemingly are similarities.

    Tibet Stands Alone

    You have also mentioned that “Eventually , El Salvador, not India moved the motion on Tibet, as most countries at the UN General Assembly looked to the US for direction on the Tibet issue. Washington, however asked the US delegation to take India’s directions on how to proceed against China, but India wasn’t keen to lead in this matter………. The Tibetan government found itself alone and friendless. It did not enjoy the status of a nation state as no country including India, had recognized it as such. Even Britain, which had a long history of engagement with China and Tibet and had tried to define the boundaries of Tibet and China at the Simla Conference, suggested that sufficient autonomy could be obtained with Chinese suzerainty not sovereignty.” Why was it that no country was ready to recognize Tibet as a free state?

    In the 1950s no one saw China as a threat. When they did begin to see China as a threat, it was perhaps too late. Sardar Patel was dead by then. As far as US was concerned, at that time Britain was very powerful internationally and they didn’t see themselves as having done any wrongs even with the opium wars. The British were really setting the agenda at the UN even for the Americans British concocted this term called suzerainty which the Chinese dismissed but they kept hankering on it. So, suzerainty became a line that everyone in the west adopted. Also remember, when China began to occupy Tibet, the US was more occupied with the Korean war. British was concerned about the Suez crises. So, China was slowly occupying Tibet while everyone was busy elsewhere.

    Skirmishes unfold

    The book talks about the ‘Longju incident of 25 August 1959, which marked the first armed encounter between Indian and Chinese forces. It says that Longju was an Indian border post, directly located along the McMahon Line, when it was attacked by Chinese border troops forcing Indian troops to withdraw. Yet, Indian troops from Assam Rifles continued to patrol the location until the Sino-Indian war in 1962. Today it is controlled by China, but claimed by India.

    “The IAF had carried out several air reconnaissance missions in that area from 1960 onwards….Even two years later, the detailed aur photography of that region- from Gilgit via the Karakpram range and westwards had been conducted not once but several times by Wing Commander ‘Jaggi’ Jag Mohan Nath, MVC. Since 1960, Jaggi Nath had filmed and reported the presence of Chinese soldiers in Aksai Chin”

    Wartime

    It is evident that China was slowly and steadily increasing its step into India. But what was the cause of this build up which resulted in the war of 1962?

    From what I can understand, China was getting quite insecure as India was becoming too close to finding their nuclear facility which was quite evident from the reconnaissance flight by Wing Commander Jaggi Nath. And if India would have known, US would have also known because people in Nehru’s office were passing on all the classified information to the Americans. Had Americans come to know about it, they would have gone with hammer and tongs to knock off that facility like Israel did with Iraq. Where Israel was in 82, America was in 52. Mao wanted to make China the world’s most respected country and he used to often say that power comes from the barrel of a gun.

    Despite all these reconnaissance missions, why was it that India was caught unawares by the Chinese?

    This was because Mao had planned the 62 operations in a way that he would hit India when the world was preoccupied. So, he had planned it in that one-month time where everyone was involved in the Cuban crises because this was a situation which could have resulted in a nuclear war between Russia and America.  Mao attacked in 62, because after the debacle of the cultural revolution, which killed 45 million people, he wanted to give China something to be proud of and hence he attacked India. Also, he was encouraged by Russia to attack India as that time Russia was on China’s side. Nikita Khrushchev gave the go ahead to Mao and told him that now was the time to attack India. Mao was not a good leader except for his India policy.  He killed 45 million people in his great experiment of the cultural revolution. I am not saying it, the historians have recorded it. He had no value for human life or anything except to make a point.

    Some people feel that Nehru was too busy in his own affairs and liaisons with women to worry about India and China or other such issues.

    That’s utter nonsense! He may have had affairs, so what?  Find me a global leader who didn’t have affairs. Mao’s own doctor at that time gave a statement and said that Mao lived a vulgar life and every other day he had a new Chinese woman. That didn’t distract him from his agenda. Kennedy also had his own share of affairs. Most leaders have been like that. That is not the reason why Nehru didn’t see the writing on the wall.

        To be continued…

    This article was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on Jan 5, 2022

  • #dowelovepeople?

    #dowelovepeople?

    Whom do we love? The person or the role? Do we really love? #lovepeople #Dontfollowanyone #discoveryourowncalling #loveyouzindagi #livelifetothefullest #hindipoetry #acceptyourself #trusttheuniverse #beyourself #loveyourselfalways #believeinyourself #loveothersasyouloveyourself #lovehumanity

  • Goofy Leaves from A General’s Diary

    As told to Shailaza Singh

    Armed Forces Medical College

    Most people believe that life in the Armed Forces Medical College is all about studies, discipline and responsibility. Though it is all that but it is also about fun, bonding and crazy memories of a life time. Maj. General Ashok Kumar Singh, an ‘I’ batch alumnus reminisces about his days and experiences in AFMC.

    I had always idolized my grand father Brigadier Thakur Khem Singh, OBI who served as the Commander of Jaipur State Forces . Hence, my dream was to join the army and follow his footsteps. I was ecstatic when I found that I had cleared the entrance exam of AFMC (Armed Forces Medical College).

    On reaching Pune and not Poona

    After I came to know about my result, I impatiently waited for my call letter. My father was even more impatient than me and insisted that I visit the GPO everyday. The postmaster at the GPO got so used to my inquiring about my call letter that he used to see me from a distance and shout out ‘tharo letter kooni aayo Bhanwar sa.’ (Sir, we haven’t received your letter). Finally, the letter came. I met Karni (Lt. Gen. Dr. Kunwar Karni Singh (Retd.)) my classmate from St. Xavier’s School on the train and we soon reached Pune. But I refused to get down because according to me AFMC was in Poona and not Pune. Karni had to really convince me that this AFMC was in Pune and not Poona!

    First Few Days

    The first shocker was the our heads were practically shaved off. For some time, we became the cynosure of all eyes. Where ever we would go in Pune, every body would point to us and say, ‘Dekho naye ganje aa gaye!’ (Look the new baldies have come!). But soon we got used to it!

    Prawn Trap

    When we joined AFMC, Bhim (Wing Commander Bhim Singh Rathore (Retd.)) who was a batch senior to me told everyone that  Karni Singh and I  were university level basket ball players. In those days, the court in AFMC was red in colour and we were five people (Dr. Khalid Moidu, Karni, Bhim, me and Late Dr. Ravinder Sharma) became one of the best teams of AFMC. Moidu was a batch senior to me. We went to buy a basketball to Main Street on Moidu’s bike. He then took me to lunch to Kimling restaurant where he ordered prawns and rice as a special treat. At that time, I was a mere boy from Rajasthan who had never tasted prawns in his entire life. I didn’t like the smell of prawns and just ate rice with some chutney. Moidu got so cheesed off with me that he refused to give me a ride and asked me to run the entire distance of four kilometres from Kimling to AFMC  while he rode on his bike.

    ‘I’ Batch

    My batch, ‘I’ batch was a sports team. Brigadier Mahadevan who was the dean at that time wanted sportsmen in his team because he believed that anyone who is a sportsman will always be honest and courageous person. So, our batch had the maximum number of sportsmen and top notch players from all games, whether cricket or football or basket ball. 

    Beat the game

    Moidu had told me to deny playing football because he wanted us to concentrate on building a basketball team. I was a fresher and I could not refuse anything that he said. So, when some people from the football team asked me to come for trials, I purposely didn’t play well so that they don’t select me. But after five months in the college when the ragging was over, we first years played a football match against the same people, we defeated them 6-0. I cannot forget the look on their faces when they discovered that I was a good football player too.

    High on Bikes

    When we were in the third term, on April 1st, we decided to play a prank on everyone. So, we picked up the bikes of all students and placed them on different floors. We parked bikes in front of student’s rooms, on the top of the water tank, on the terrace and everywhere we could think of. Imagine we were so crazy at the time that we could pick up the bikes and carry them up the stairs to different floors without making a noise! We parked a student’s bike on the third floor in front of his room. That student was quite unperturbed when he saw his bike in front of his room. He got on it, started it and drove to the bathroom to brush his teeth! We laughed our guts out!

    Cock-a-doodle doo

    At one time I was a block monitor. I was quite strict. I would check all the floors and in case any new student faced any ragging, they would tell the person that I had called them. One day, Pawan Kapoor (Air Marshal (Dr.) Pawan Kapoor (Retd.)) who was from M batch was going up the stairs and a senior was coming down. The senior asked him the whereabouts of Pawan Kapoor. So Pawan told him that ‘Pawan Kapoor’ was in his room. The senior later on got to know that he had been tricked by a junior. Then he promptly ragged him by asking him to pose like a ‘murga’ or a ‘medical chair’.

    I was in the ninth term and I had assigned Pawan Kapoor the duty to wake me up without uttering a word. He couldn’t come into the room. So, he used to climb on the glass pane above the door and pretend to be a cock and say ‘cock a doodle doo’ to wake me up.

    Bromance

    I had instructed another junior named Chandola to sing a specific romantic song the moment he saw me anywhere. So, regardless of who he was talking to, the moment he saw me he would sing ‘lag ja gale’ and other people would wonder if he had lost his mind.

    Why Singh?

    There was a senior B.K. Singh who used my name tag A.K. Singh to rag people. When people complained about the ragging, to the authorities, no one could not find any A.K. Singh in the that batch!

    After college, girls used to go on cycle and we boys used to walk. Karni used to whistle in a particular way. But whenever he whistled, the girls used to tell me to shut up because they thought I was whistling! And the fact that I was a good basketball and football player also helped!

    English Vinglish

    We had a warden named Mr. Purohit. He was also from Rajasthan and his English was crying out loud for improvement but he insisted on speaking English no matter what! So, he used to say things like ‘my car is understanding the tree’. Normally during lectures, the girls used to sit in the front and the boys sat at the back. The seats at the back were higher than the seats in the front as it happens with most classrooms in the medical college.  One day, the boys decided to sit in the front. Naturally, the girls went and sat at the back. That day, Mr. Purohit came and saw the change. In his customary English, he said, ‘Hey! You the boys and girls! How come the skirts have gone up and the pants have come down?’ We didn’t know whether to laugh or hide our faces!

    In AFMC, the boys to girls ratio was quite skewed. However, the girls were quite sporting and shared a camaraderie with everyone. In those days, our banter was quite harmless and every one loved cracking jokes on each other.

    All about greenery

    We learnt to fire guns in AFMC. During the firing practice, we were required to shut one eye while firing. Generally, after about firing 15 rounds, the eyes get tired. So, we were instructed to open our eyes and look at the greenery (hariyali) after every 15 rounds. Once, at a firing session, when we were told to stare at the greenery, I turned around and saw some of girls from our class sitting and talking. So, the instructor asked me, ‘Number 45, kya kar rahe ho?’ (What are you doing?) I promptly replied, ‘ Sir, hariyali dekh rahe hain! (Looking at the greenery sir!). After the firing was over, the instructor asked me to hold my gun above my head and keep running around the field so that I could see my fill of hariyali!

    Rotten eggs

    There was a beautiful student named Purnima Chatterjee who was friendly with everyone except the boys of our batch. So, we all had a grudge against her. We decided to teach her a lesson. We collected a lot of rotten eggs. The girls’ hostel was bang opposite the boys’ hostel. So, we stood in the balcony and threw eggs into her balcony which was always open. Since we were great basket ball players, most of the eggs landed into her room. One of them even landed on her bed!

    Rocket Singh

    Once on Diwali, we decided to burst crackers. One of the rockets was misfired and landed into a girls’ room! Thankfully nothing serious happened but an inquiry team was set up. The inquiry team was headed by Bhim (Wing Commander Bhim Singh Rathore (Retd.)) , who was the general secretary at the time and was himself firing the rockets! So, the inquiry team obviously couldn’t find out who fired the rocket!

    Adam teasing

    My mother had made a shirt from me out of one of her odnis (stole). The shirt was quite a good one and whenever I used to wear it my room and stand in my balcony, the girls had a field time whistling and passing comments!

    One for all and all for one

     Once, I had a skirmish with a student from another batch which became a full blown fight. Thirty students from first year came and stood outside my room and shouted at me to come out. My room mate was a body builder who was known for his strength. So, I egged him and said that if I get beaten despite having a friend like him, what was the point? So my room mate came charging outside and told every one to back off. Meanwhile, all my friends also came. Soon, the mob left. Had it not been for my friends, I would have been beaten black and blue!

    Irani Final

    In my ninth term, we were playing football finals in Law College in Pune. They were a lot of Irani students. On a different occasion, when we had played against them and started winning, they had turned rowdy. So, this time we were prepared and we had taken the army jawans with us. Every one was armed with rods and chains in case of any eventuality. So, when our team started winning, the spectators started pelting us with stones because the locals were a huge favourite. One of the stones injured our officer, Brigadier Dutta, who started bleeding. When we saw this, we were enraged. It became a free for all fight. I saw an official from host college and urged him to do something. He attacked me and I hit back. Some one in the audience took a picture and it was published in Pune Herald the next day. As a result, I was suspended from the games. The Iranis had seen the photo in the newspaper and every day four or five of them used to come in an Ambassador car and inquire about me and my friends. I decided that I had to study and pass out of AFMC with my batch else I would be left behind and the Iranis would beat me to pulp. So, I kept a low profile and studied hard. When we passed out, we were so apprehensive of those guys turning up at Pune railway station or bus stand that we caught a taxi and went to Mumbai. From there we boarded a train to Rajasthan.

    Heady Cocktail

    We were doing internship in Base Hospital, Delhi. During the internship, you are still considered a part of the medical college. So, we were called for playing basketball finals to Pune. As officers, we were given first class tickets. We won the cup and then poured all kinds of alcohol we had into it and drank up that cocktail. I had totally passed out. It was Karni who helped to dress me up the next day since we both had to catch a train from Mumbai for Delhi. Between both of us, we had only ten rupees. So, we each had a cup of tea and peanuts during the entire journey. By the time, we reached Delhi, we were famished. Luckily, Karni always kept some money with him in the room. He went to his room and got the money and we finally ate proper food after an entire day of peanuts!

    Bird Watching

    We used to go in a three-ton truck to play matches. One of my seniors called Luthra had this habit of taking away my glasses. He then used to ask me to describe the girl walking on the road. I couldn’t see without my glasses but I used to describe the girl in all her finery and glory. Then he used to give back my spectacles and show me the girl he had asked me to describe. Obviously, the girl was very different because I couldn’t see her! So, I used to fib that I was describing another girl!

    Mistaken identity

    One day another classmate of mine Chinni who looked like a Punjabi but was actually from Tamil Nadu decided to rag a first-year student who was from Tamil Nadu. So, he asked him to say something in Tamil. The first year student thought Chinni did not understand Tamil so he used all the cuss words in the language. To his utter shock, Chinni replied in Tamil! To punish him, Chinni asked him to count all the seeds in a guava and report back to him asap! The poor chap kept counting the seeds for the entire day!

    As told to Shailaza Singh

    This article was recently published in Rashtradoot’s Arbit Section

    Published on 26 November 2021
    Published on 27 November 2021

  • Remember yourself amidst the world

    Knock at your own door..
    Meet yourself
    Know yourself
    The world can wait….
    #selfawareness #selflove #loveyourself #lovemyself #meetyourself #dontfollowanyone #selfgrowth

    #LOVEYOURSELF

  • #dontfollowanyone

    #beyourself

    ताक ताक औरों  को,
    रंग चढ़ गया हर किसी लिबास का
    की भूल गए हम दीवाने,
    वो मंज़र अपने ही अंदाज़ का
    #beyourself #loveyourself #selflove #loveyourbody #dontfollowanyone #selfempowerment #uniquestyle

  • खुद से प्यार…

    खुद से ही प्यार…

    तेरा इंतज़ार किया मैंने ,
    की तू आएगा राजकुमार ..
    पर तूने इस कदर देर लगाई
    की हो गया मुझे खुद से ही प्यार…
                                             शैलजा सिंह
                                     –
    #poetry #selflovecoach #selfhelp #selfawareness #selfesteem #selfdiscipline #selfempowerment

  • ‘GOD MUST BE A JOURNALIST’

    As the former editor of Mumbai Mirror and now a host of the Times of India podcast, Meenal Baghel believes that despite the invasion of the electronic media, the print newspapers will always have a special place in the world because they have an unmatched authenticity and credibility. For her podcast is more about complementing print and spreading the word in the world.

    Meenal Baghel

    As we chat about her experiences as a journalist and editor, I can’t but help ask her whether she believes that the print newspaper is on its way out in today’s day and age, a question that has been perhaps on the mind of a lot of readers and journalists alike. Meenal replies, “I think print is perennial. I am a great fan of print. People are reading a lot more. I may not be necessarily reading a lot of books but the number of words that I read every day has really gone up. Whether it is an article on Twitter or Facebook, all of us are constantly reading. We are constantly plugged into news. I think what the written word does is that it allows the reader the space to read and imagine things. It may be a 500-word story but the readers imagine a lot more. So, in a way, print makes the reader very smart. On screen or visual medium, you are a passive spectator but as a reader, you need to do a lot of mental work. Papers still have a lot of authenticity and credibility as compared to other mediums. All these other mediums depend on data, Wi-Fi etc. To give you a small example, during the NEET and RAS exams, they just shut down the internet. But I still got my paper. Another thing is that in this age of information overload, where you don’t know whether you are getting authentic or fake information. Human beings like order, structure and hierarchy. A newspaper is just that from the lead headline, to the bold or plain headline, it creates a hierarchy. So, I know the news on my front page is more important than my page six, and my right-hand page is more important than my left-hand page because it is all scientific and based on how your eye travels. In a way, these are all subliminal signals that you send out to the reader and create hierarchy for the reader. Then you have the printed photo which sends out a powerful message to the reader. It establishes a solid connection with the reader who can gaze at it, interpret it. So, I think print is hugely powerful and it will stay in India for a very long time.”
    I recently heard her popular podcast where she talked to Maria Ressa, this year’s Nobel Peace laureate.

    Maria Ressa

    Where did she get the idea of podcast from? “Podcasts are very new for me because all my life I have been a journalist. After Mumbai Mirror shut down in December 2020, I realized that journalism had changed. For instance, though the big brands are still powerful, there is also a parallel media movement which has digital brands, independent newspapers, podcasts. I believe audio is a very intimate medium which reaches the listener’s ears and allows you a very intimate, one-on-one relationship with the listener. The podcast has a lot of authenticity because the voice of the speaker is unfiltered. So, if the speaker is saying something moving and emotional, it directly reaches the listener’s ears. It’s all in your ear. This is the reason I wanted to explore this medium. So, I suggested this idea to the TOI guys. Times of India is such a large newspaper and there are journalists doing great stories everywhere. For example, there might be a great story done by a reporter in Kolkata which is only going to appear in the Kolkata TOI. So, I wanted to create a show where I could build the podcasts working with these reporters and asking them about the story. For instance, one of my colleagues in Uttarakhand had done this great story about the fake COVID tests which were done in Kumbh Mela. It was a TOI exclusive. I worked with the reporter and asked her about how she did it. I believe people should also know about the great public service that journalists do because these days it has become so fashionable to say that journalism is nothing or journalists don’t do anything. So, the podcast listener is not necessarily a newspaper reader, so we cater to a different audience there. So, the listener not only gets to know the story, plus the process of that story.”

    Podcasts


    But isn’t television already showing these stories? Meenal replied, “I believe when it comes to damage to journalism and over sensationalizing news, television journalism, the way it is practiced in India, has done a lot of damage. But then I feel people are already moving away from that format. They are now exploring new formats like podcasts. For example, in the podcast, we have very serious discussions, with all gravitas and the great experts coming in. I think why podcasts are becoming so popular is because with so much going on every second, the world is becoming more complex. People want hierarchy and structure and want people to the world explained to them so that they can make sense of it. For example, we know the fuel prices are at an all-time high. So, people want to figure out why are fuel prices high? What is the tax component? Do we need to pay a higher price? How do we transition to clean energy? For all of this, if I get two or three experts, people with domain knowledge, then in that half an hour episode of podcast, I am informing people about most of the things on that subject which filters away all the fake and riff raff and gives them solid information. A few days ago, I spoke to a colleague of mine who was covering Samir Wankhede’s story and asked him to talk about all the developments that have happened so far. With podcasts, there is no formula, so there are different ways of telling a story. The second thing is that it allows you to go very deep. So, half an hour of podcast is about 6000 words. So, it’s a long read. So, it allows you to bring in the journalist and the experts too. For example, we did a story on the 25 years of liberalization which was incidentally Narsimha Rao’s birth anniversary too. So, we got Vinay Sitapati who wrote a book on Narsimha Rao and Jairam Ramesh who worked with Narsimha Rao on the liberalization to talk about it.”
    Meenal Baghel is a woman who dons many hats. She is not just a journalist, an editor, a podcast host but also a writer too.

    Death in Mumbai by Meenal Baghel

    Her book “Death in Mumbai” is based on a true story. Where did she get the idea to write about this subject? “Chiki Sarkar was the editor of Random House in those days and she got it touch with me. She said that she was looking to commission a story about a crime that talks about modern India. It was around that time a television executive called Neeraj Grover from Kanpur who came to Mumbai to work in television. He met this actress called Maria Susairaj who also had another fiancé Emile Jerome, who was in the navy. One day, he saw Neeraj and Maria in a compromising position and got enraged. He killed Neeraj and hacked his body into pieces. I thought this was an interesting modern day crime story because it talks about casual sex and the relationships that exist between not just men and women but also between small towns and big cities. It also talks about the evolving relationship between parents and their children. Parents don’t know what their children grow up to be. I was working full time in Mumbai which allowed me to conduct 70-80 interviews of people to understand what lies beneath the modern-day relationships.”
    Speaking of relationships, what is her take on the subject? Meenal said, “My work is very intense and in life for everything you have to make time. And all my time is often spent on the desk. In fact, in the early days, when I had all these crazy working hours, my father used to get worked up and tell me to get married and then do whatever I wanted. I remember having this conversation with him where I asked him if he wanted to get rid of me by marrying me off and this won’t matter to him. He realized that what I was saying had a point so they were quite okay after that. I have been fortunate to have parents who always treated me with enough respect that I could make my own decision. They did try to get me married but they gave me that space to make that decision.”
    So, which city does she feel is more conducive to singles? “Mumbai is the country’s best city when it comes to single people. It is tough living in Mumbai, but it allows you mental space to be single. No one will judge you for being single. Across the board, they see you as individual. I don’t engage that much with Jaipur, though Jaipur has changed. But Jaipur has slightly more conservative expectations from women.”

    This article by Shailaza Singh appeared in Rashtradoot Newspaper’s Arbit Section on 8 November 2021