Shailaza's Blog

Category: Interesting theories

  • How I got rid of Oggy and his cockroaches

    A few years ago, like all children, my daughter had fallen in love with cartoons on Cartoon Network. She used to watch all kinds of programs including Tom and Jerry, Shiva, Chota Bheem and the cringe worthy Oggy and the cockroaches. As it is, for me the very word ‘cockroach’ is enough to induce a sleepless night, the three cockroaches made it worse! My daughter sat spell bound as the cockroaches and Oggy kept battling it out in Oggy’s refrigerator and at times literally tore the kitchen apart in pursuit of vengeance! The icing on the cake was that the voice-over artist sometimes mimicked voice of Shahrukh Khan, sometimes Nana Patekar, Sunil Shetty and other such then popular actors. After some months, I was so fed up that I asked my friends to help me. One of my friends downloaded and shared a Japanese Anime ‘Spirited Away’. At that time, there was no Netflix or other OTT, so we had to make ado with the subtitles. I showed the movie to my daughter and she loved it! And that was the reason enough to discontinue the cable service.

    It has been a decade since I and my daughter introduced ourselves to subtitles and movies from different countries and languages. Earlier, we downloaded these from different sites like YouTube and torrents which offer ‘free’ movies. Initially, I was quite scared that some kind of Internet police might come and catch me for going on torrents and other such sites. I had prepared a list of counter arguments and kept it in my bedside cabinet for such emergencies and foreseen circumstances. Some reasons given in the list were:

    1. Downloading movies with subtitles is better than letting the children watch serials produced by Ekta Kapoor or other such people. Though the children are intrigued by the idea of saas-bahu politics (children are born politicians) and repeated plastic surgery (they love the idea that they can hide behind a new face if they do something wrong) and multiple divorces and remarriages (my daughter was simply hooked on to the idea that for each marriage she will get at least three to four new dresses with matching dress and jewellery!)
    2. Watching other movies with subtitles is actually education! One of my friends told me that her son who goes off to sleep in the English class at school actually learnt reading by watching movies with subtitles. He loved Hollywood action movies like Rambo and would actually read the subtitles to understand what actors like Sylvester Stallone were saying (most of them actually mutter under their breath). With time, his English literature teacher was actually impressed with his ability to read in the language!

    However, my list of reasons kept lying in the cabinet because no one ever came! So, we read the subtitles and we watched movies. An old friend was curious about why did I go through so much trouble for movies with subtitles when most English movies either had Hindi subtitles or were dubbed in Hindi. It was then I told her about my experience with the well-known movie Jurassic Park’s dubbed Hindi version. In that movie, there is a scene where the female protagonist says ‘I want to see the dinosaur’s shit.’ This dialogue was translated into ‘mujhe dinosaur ka gobar dekhne hai.’ I am not arguing whether it was the correct translation or not but from that point onwards, I steered clear of dubbed movies!

     I also bought a lot of CDs and DVDs of good movies that I believed would help her to inculcate some good values. Some came with subtitles while others did not. We kept our CDs very carefully lest they get scratch marks because then the CD would not either play certain segments or would simply get jammed . We also did not jump tracks because that again could lead to scratches and bad unplayable sectors. The CDs could only either be played on our computers or television sets which meant sitting in the living room, switching on the television or the laptop, inserting the CD and then waiting for it to play. When my daughter complained that it was a cumbersome process, I told her stories of the VCR (Video Cassette Recorder) in which we had to insert this huge video cassette, rewind it and then play. She rolled her eyes. She said that idea was unimaginably old fashioned and preposterous!

    New entries

    Then Netflix breezed into our lives. I deleted all my downloads and tore the long list of reasons. The CDs were forgotten in an old cupboard.  Even today, I don’t know what to do with my huge collection. I thought of turning them into plates and decorations but then a friend advised me to wait because according to him one day, these CDs and DVDs would be treasured as antiques and I would be able to make a lot of money by selling them! I am still waiting!

    With Netflix and later Amazon Prime and other such OTT platforms, my phone became my new cinema hall. I could walk into it anytime and watch the movie and the scene of my choice again and again- A far cry from the first time that I was introduced to cinema in Jaipur in my summer holidays!

    Back then, my maternal grandfather hated movies with a vengeance! He believed that movies did nothing except corrupt minds of young people. So, on the pretext of going to the vegetable market, my aunt masterminded the great escape and smuggled my grandmother, mother, my brother and me in a matador car and took us to the Rajmandir Theatre to watch the matinee show Amitabh Bachchan’s ‘Sharabi’. She even paid a friend to shop for vegetables and fruits. When the movie finished, we went to Niros Restaurant, ate food, picked up the vegetables and fruits and went back home! Till date my grandfather is unaware of these little escapades!

    Today, with Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hot Star, and other such platforms, my daughter and me huddle up in any corner of the house and watch these movies and series regardless of their language. Sometimes, we hook it up to the television and even binge watch with a bowl of fresh popcorn. We hardly realize that we are reading the subtitles. The interesting bit is that we keep discovering new things about distant lands. One day, my daughter told me that in Japan, people are not scared of haunted houses because they believe that each house has its own spirit. So, whenever they move in to a new house, they thank the spirit and ask him to take care of them and their family. This fact she got to know from a movie called “My neighbour Totoro”.

    Covid time pass

    The good part about these movies with subtitles is that one has to pay attention to understand what is going on. Hence most of times, in this era of COVID, online movie watching is quite engrossing! Not that we have achieved nirvana but cartoons have been replaced by a lot of meaningful content and thank fully Oggy and the cockroaches have been completely forgotten!

    However, the danger still looms large as I just discovered that Salman Khan has launched another no brainer ‘Radhe: Your Most Wanted Bhai’ on OTT. While Oggy and the Cockroaches rile me with goofy no brainer conversations, a Salman Khan movie brings up questions like ‘why cannot Salman Khan protect India from COVID?’ or ‘If he is so strong, why cannot Salman Khan help in dealing with the pandemic?’ Wouldn’t it be great if these OTT platforms had questions to these answers in subtitles too?

    This article by Shailaza Singh was published in Rashtradoot Newspaper on 12 May 2021

  • Am I dead?

    Yesterday, I was talking to an old friend who wanted me to talk to a single guy. She said that I should call him and just talk to him to get to know him. I promised her I would but I could not because I didn’t feel like doing it. My friend called me up in the night and asked me if I had called up the person. I told her that I did not call since I was very busy. My friend got really miffed with me and commented that the horse doesn’t seem to have lost his urge to drink the water referring to an old proverb.

    I pondered over her statement for long and I have come to the conclusion that I have indeed lost my thirst to drink the water. Actually, I have lost interest in this entire dating game because somehow I find it pointless. You meet someone, talk to the person for hours on end and then come to the conclusion that it won’t work out.

    It is difficult to keep following this methodology while waiting for that elusive spark with someone who probably does not even exist in this world. My friend feels I am acting as if I am dead but I don’t think so. I feel there is no point in creating relationship just for the heck of it, which lacks a spark just because you have to be with someone.

    What do you think?

    Life is okay alone

  • आजकल आदमी भी पिटता है (Men also get beaten these days)


    हमारे देश में औरतों के पास बहुत कानून हैं उनकी रक्षा करने के लिए. पर आजकल आदमियों के पास कुछ नहीं हैं. कई आदमी औरतों क़ानून  के हाथ रोज़ पीटते हैं. इसीपर एक कविता …
    This is a poem about how some men also get beaten everyday by women in the guise of women empowerment. They do not have any laws to support them.

    These days men also get beaten
  • No Free Lunch!

    No Free Lunch!

    Book review by Shailaza Singh (published in Rashtradoot Newspaper on 22 January 2021)

    In their book, The World of Energy, Engine of Life, Raj Sharma and Vishnu Pareek analyse the entire spectrum of energy, from conventional sources to various alternative sources. The book also provides a perspective on energy policy over the years and explains the fundamentals of energy and all related aspects using clear and straightforward language.

    Book Title : The World of Energy, Engine of Life

    Authors : Prof. Raj Sharma is currently an Adjunct Professor at Curtin University’s WA School of Mines: Minerals, Energy and Chemical Engineering. Prof. Vishnu Pareek is currently serving as Head of the WA School of Mines: Minerals, Energy and Chemical Engineering, and as Dean of Engineering at Curtin University.

    Publisher : Springer

    I loved studying science during my school days. During those times, there was a lot of talk about how fossil fuels like coal and petroleum are polluting the world. Chapters about these topics in our school books talked about how these fossil fuels must be replaced by renewable sources of energy like the wind or the sun or electricity. A lot of time has passed since then. However, despite the Gulf war and the excessive hue and cry about issues like pollution or global warming or ozone depletion, alternative sources of energy have really not been able to dominate the world at large. Yes, there are increased instances of people using solar panels or windmills or water or nuclear for generating electricity but they are few and far between as compared to the excessive dependence that the world has on fossil fuels. Despite the various advances in science and technology in the last two decades (internet, smart phones, other gadgets etc.), nothing much has been seen on the horizon for harnessing energy from the much-touted cleaner sources.

    This question has always been there on my mind but I could never get an answer to it. The topic of renewable energy sources, pollution and fossil fuels is a good option if you want to sound very smart and intelligent in social conversations but ultimately all those people just end up shaking their heads and shrugging with resignation when one asks them about the solution to this predicament. However, the question about renewable sources of energy has still remained unanswered despite the media’s hullabaloo about all these issues.

    So, when I picked up the book titled ‘The World of Energy- Engine of Life’ by Professor Raj Sharma and Professor Vishnu Pareek, I did not have any expectations. After all, after decades of discussion on this topic, the endless debate by the media, the protests by people who believe the world is going to end any day, what could this book which has been published by Springer say which had not been said before?

    Energetic Revelations about (US)

    As I was reading the book, a paragraph really caught my attention.

    “President Carter in his address from the Oval Office on July 15, 1979, said among other things:

    …. calling for the creation of this nation’s first solar bank which will help us achieve the crucial goal of 20% of our energy coming from solar power by the year 2000. Solar energy contribution to the energy pie in the US today (2018) is less than 1.0%- as against the target stated by President Carter of 20% by 2000!”

    The authors go on to say “US with 5% of the world’s population, uses about 20-25% of the world’s energy to lead the lifestyle that it does! One can only try and imagine what would happen if India and China with a third of the world’s population were to provide a similar lifestyle to their people.”

    So much for solar power! This is a fact from a country which is touted as a world leader in technology and lifestyle. Moreover, the book also talks about how most countries in the world believe that replicating the Western (US) model of development would be the ultimate sign of having arrived in the developed world but in reality, the model is quite unsustainable since the wastage of energy by the country is quite high.  The authors also bring out the stark contrasts between the energy consumptions of various nations versus their population. What captivated my attention was that today US and China (which is following the US pattern of development) collectively consume about 40% of the world’s energy despite having only 24% of the world’s population! The authors say that the development of China happened on the back of cheap, abundant and reliable energy which was readily available in the form of fossil fuels which fulfil about 87% of China’s energy need. Though India’s energy consumption is less than 6% of the world, 92 % of its energy needs are being met by fossil fuels!

    Another myth that this book dispels is “‘green energy’ is not really ‘green’ since it requires ‘black (fossil fuel) energy’ to harness, transform into a usable form and control its use to deliver the benefits of modern life.”

    Much ado about Carbon Emissions

    By this time, I was hooked because everything this book said was different to what has been largely propagated in the world. The media has been talking about how the carbon dioxide emissions have exponentially increased due to the rapid industrialisation etc. However, the authors say that carbon, which we all know is the fourth most abundant element in the universe is the essence of life on the earth and in the form of carbon dioxide the only source of oxygen that we breathe. According to them the human population in on earth a hundred years ago was about 1.7 billion with a reported CO2 concentration in the atmosphere of about 100 ppm; today (2020), the human population of earth is about 7 billion with a reported CO2 concentration in the atmosphere of about 400 ppm!

    Out (Laws) of Energy Efficiency

    The three laws of thermodynamics which are considered the gospel truth as far energy is concerned are as popular as the laws of gravitation. However, I have never seen anyone interpret them so interestingly till now.

    “-You cannot win

    – You cannot break-even either, and

    – Everything eventually goes to ‘naught’”

    Whether in science forums or important sounding books and journals, people keep talking about how to maximize energy efficiency. However, the authors of this book are very clear that “one cannot do without energy-but there is no free lunch!”

    Sunning Away!

    Everywhere in this book, the authors have clearly stated some interesting facts!  Every form of energy whether fossil fuels or the much-hyped alternate sources are a result of the sun shining on the earth. Without the sun, nothing is possible!

    “The only ‘green’ energy on Earth in the present day meaning of the term, is that received directly from the Sun in its raw, nascent and pristine form. Period. Full Stop. Everything else is ‘Black’. Nature has provided an automatic clean-up mechanism for the carbon waste in the form of the carbon dioxide cycle. It is the ‘clean, green energy- solar and wind in their raw and natural state-that gave Man his start and it is this energy that Man left behind in his quest for ever more.”

    (Has the) Climate Chang(ed)?

    “It is interesting to note that CO2   in the Earth’s atmosphere has been much higher in the past than it is today; and, there does not seem much correlation between CO2 concentration and Earth’s temperature.”

    The authors believe that labelling climate change as a man-made phenomenon and to pin it on fossil fuel driven carbon dioxide emissions is too simplistic. They believe that earth has been through cycles of warming periods and ice ages over hundreds of millions of years where sea levels have risen and deserts have been formed time and again. The activists have been harping away and campaigning on the ‘burning’ issue of the climate change but the book begs us to think about it from a different perspective!

    (No) Conclusions

    This book offers no conclusions or solutions- the authors have been very clear about this aspect from the beginning to the end. They have simply presented facts based on a lot of different studies that have been done over the years which in a way dispel many myths surrounding the world of energy. Yes, there are some suggestions like revisiting the old cultures like those of India and other countries of the world to understand deeper aspects of energy and its conservation but even those are marked with a ‘perhaps’. The authors make no bones about the fact that fossil fuels do have a competitive edge over the other alternate sources of energy due to a variety of reasons like their ease of use, availability and harnessing power.

    The Last Word

    The debate on energy has been a long standing one. Over time, the lack or abundance of energy has caused wars, created controversies and catapulted many activists to limelight. This book brings a lot of perspective to these burning topics and is interesting even for those who are not from a science back ground and offers an insight into the much debated and very controversial topic of energy. Read it and form your own conclusions! After all, there is no free lunch!

  • An Open Letter To All the Daughters and Sons of India- Please Read!

    An Open Letter To All the Daughters and Sons of India- Please Read!

    For representational purposes only

    Dear daughters and sons of India,

                                                   Greetings! I am a daughter of this country, the way you are. Today, I am writing this letter to you to help you realize some very important blatant truths. These will set you free!

    Do you know what those are?

    The truth is that you are not born to be married. Actually no man or woman is born to be just married. Getting married will be the worst decision of your life if you don’t do it for the right reasons!

    The truth is your parents should not spend their hard earned money on organizing a grand marriage celebration for you just because they want to please the relatives or even you for that matter!

    The truth is you are not born to find your prince or princess charming and live happily ever after. There is no person who will rescue you from your problems and set things right. Marriage is not to find a maid or a knight who will solve all your problems and listen to all your nonsense.

    The truth is there is no person on this planet who is your perfect soul mate, who was born just for you and who will understand you better than you understand yourself and will love you just the way you are. People spend lives confused about themselves; they are unable to know what they want; how do you expect them to understand you?

    Even if you are marrying a guy or a girl you’ve dated for 10 years, trust me he or she will not change, so don’t try to change him or her . He or she will change in his or her own time. Marriage does not mean the rebirth or rewiring or reincarnation of person!

    The truth is even if your features are perfect, you have an enviable figure, or you are tall. dark and handsome and adored by millions, there are chances that your marriage or relationship may not survive and your husband or wife may not live up to your expectations or vice versa. Having expectations in a marriage ends the game before it has even started!

    Your mother-in-law is not your mother and will never be.

    Hold it!

    Before you just shrug your shoulders or wonder what kind of a mad woman is saying this, let me explain my point of view.

    1. Girls, you were not born to be married: In the olden days, marriage was about security. You see it was a very male dominated society, where men could do whatever they wanted. So, in order to save the women from all kinds of pitiable fate, the law makers decided to make a new law. Women who were married to men had to wear some kind of a mark on them for people to recognize them as married. These married women were the property of the men they were married to and no other man could look at them. In that society, so long the girl was unmarried, she was not safe from lecherous advances of men. So, the parents decided that marriage was the safest option for their daughters. Today, we live in better times (relatively).  Most girls can earn and fend for themselves. Most girls know how to defend themselves. So, you don’t have to get married just because the society is telling you to or your parents are telling you to.
    2. In the early days when parents married their daughters off to these men, they also had to express their gratefulness by gifting them wealth. Since the girl was not educated and ensuring her needs are met was her husband’s responsibility, this wealth was also considered as a means of sharing the burden. However, today men and women can earn their bread and butter and earn their own money and create their own lives. So don’t let your parents spend their hard earned money on a lavish marriage or lavish gifts.
    3. Marriage should not be about compulsion. Marriage should be about choice. You don’t have to get married but you choose to get married. However, even if you choose to get married, be under no illusion. Prince Charming or princess perfect does not exist. The person you will get married to will have his or her own problems, will in all probability not understand you most of the times (unless he or she has been transported from planet Perfect which is located in Goodness Knows Where galaxy). So do not expect him or her to solve your problems. You both can work on solving problems together but marriage is not a one man show. Both husband and wife have to work together.
    4. Husband is not a soul mate or any mate, not for the first few years anyways and same is the case with you. If you are very lucky, then you are an anomaly and we are not talking about you. Your husband will not love you the way you are, not initially. He will get used to the way you are. The more you spend time together, have patience, the more you will get to know each other and understand each other. However, there are plenty of friends you can hang out with rather than pressurizing your spouse to spend their time with you.
    5. These days marriages don’t really survive unless you want it to thrive and are willing to work without your mobile and laptop and with your partner! You may do your best, your husband or wife may be a great person but still marriages break because of stress, constant problems and more. So, quit having expectations. Marriage can only survive with loads of patience and love..
    6. A mother-in-law can never be a mother. Do not confide in her excessively. As of now, with your entry into her life, she is insecure about her position in her son’s or daughter’s life and can use anything to show him or her that she is more bothered about him or her than you are. However, please treat her kindly and nicely.
    7. You’ve known this guy or girl for so many years (unless it was a quickly arranged marriage). After marriage, he or she is the same way; irritable, irrational and forever upset. Let me ask you this…will you change? Did you change? How can he change overnight! So don’t expect him to change.
    8. NEVER EVER MARRY AN ALCOHOLIC! THAT DOESN’T WORK DESPITE YOUR BEST INTENTIONS!
    9. DON’T TRY TO RESCUE MEN OR WOMEN OR FIX THEIR LIVES BY MARRYING THEM AND THEN EXPECT THEM TO BE GRATEFUL TO YOU AND WAIT ON YOU HAND AND FOOT!
    10. Mistakes can happen. If you made a wrong choice, do not make it the second time. It is okay to be alone till you do not find someone who is worthwhile.
    11. Men or their families are not evil or bad. Just like you, they have their own problems and challenges. Just because they don’t agree with you or understand you doesn’t make the villains of your life!

    Remember!!!!

    No marriage is perfect.

    Everyone is struggling.

    Patience is very important.

    Control your expectations. Be fair.

    Please don’t get married because you have to get married. Your parents may be forcing you today but if you do not agree, they will eventually come around. Marriage is not a solution to loneliness, sometimes people are more lonely after marriage.

    Please get married if you choose to be together. And this choice has to be made everyday because humans are not monogamous by genetics. It is an enforced, conditioned behavior which becomes a part of us over a period of time.

    Marriage is a very small part of life girls. Don’t make it such a big part or the only part of your lives that you stop living life itself!

    Do think about it!

    Warm Regards,

    Shailaza

    #faith_the_mystery_of_the _missing_girl

    #novel_by_shailaza_singh

  • Small Interactions that Change Lives

    Read and Written

    Yesterday, I was browsing through my old messages on Facebook. One of these messages was from an actor. I had liked his work and had written a message complimenting him about the work. He wrote back saying that he was looking for some scripts. At that time ( ten years ago), I had not thought about writing anything of my own though as a journalist, I was writing for newspapers etc.

    The interesting bit was that his query was quite a general one. But at that time, I percieved it as an inspiration. I ended up writing my first novel . The protagonist in my novel was given his first name. Oddly, the communication stopped after that message. Probably because the interaction had served its purpose and the message had been delivered.

    The result of this interaction was that my novel Faith- The Mystery Of The Missing Girl, was published and those who read it loved it. And it all started because of this little conversation on Facebook.

    Come to think of it, we meet so many people in our lives. People who are not related to us or will never even be a part of our lives. They work like catalysts- a word, a spark or a trigger speeds up the reaction but they are never the part of the reaction. They become the messengers from the universe delivering the right message to the right person at the right time.

    All of us become messengers for other people. You don’t have to be an actor or a celebrity or someone known to impact a stranger’s life. You may even never realize the role your actions or words or even a smile played in completely changing some one’s life and perhaps you will never even know. Or maybe none of us need to know! Perhaps this is what synchronicity is all about.

    What do you think? Has something like this happened with you? Please share in the comments section!

  • The Expectation of Perfection

    The Expectation of Perfection

    Once a sage visited a small village somewhere in India. He was a renowned seer who could heal the most complicated diseases. People said that he was such a pure, gentle soul that his very gaze could elevate a person’s consciousness and change his circumstances. One day, he healed two women who had been afflicted by a rare incurable disease. The women and their families were ecstatic and wanted the sage to visit their homes so that they could honor him the best possible way. However, the sage declined. One of the women decided to visit the sage’s house and convince his wife. When she reached his house, she knocked at the door. An unkempt, filthy woman opened the door and shouted, ‘What do you want?’ The woman was quite taken aback and asked to meet the sage’s wife. The woman said, ‘Can’t you see? I am his wife!’ The woman apologized and beat a hasty retreat. The wife started shouting obscenities att her. The woman went back to the place where the sage was giving a discourse. She sat down and looked at the sage. The sage smiled and said, ‘when we see something very beautiful, we expect it to be perfect in all respects. However, we don’t realize that nothing can be perfect because everything is constantly evolving.’

    I have often experienced this. When I see something or someone who is either very good looking or adept in the work that they do, I expect that their life would be as perfect as their pursuit or beauty. Many a times, a very good looking person has the most squeaky little voice or even vice versa. There are times I have met people who preach about relationships and I discover that their own relationships are about nothing but endless turmoil.

    Gautam Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Osho and many other great men have also been judged on this aspect. There have been women with brilliant careers, faces, following who have struggled with issues in their personal lives. Look at very successful people and you will often find that their personal lives and relationships have always been a ‘work in progress’.

    We as human beings have always seeked perfection. Even in scriptures, while ‘heaven’ is a place of perfect happiness and is meant for perfectly nice beings, ‘hell’ is a place of perfect torture and is meant for perfectly ‘bad’ beings. It took us a long time to understand that there are shades of grey in every person too. Still today, people keep searching for perfect parents, perfect soul mates, perfect solutions, perfect relationships little realising that nothing perfect exists in nature!

    In the end, whatever work we do, we are just tiny fragements of the universe who are here to help the world evolve. The messages that we deliver do not have an origin in us, they are born in the universal desire. Just like the seeds of a fruit are dispersed by the wind, we are only at the right place at the right to disperse the message. Judging or fighting or killing a messenger really serves no purpose.

  • A Room In The House

    A Room In The House

    For representational purposes only

    Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a beautiful princess. When she grew up, her father started looking for a groom for her. Soon the word spread and a young handsome lad who was famous for his bravery won her heart and hand. They got married and the lad started living in the palace. His wife gave him the keys to all the rooms in the palace and said, ‘Darling, you can open any room you like. But, if you want me by your side, please do not open the room with the heavy iron door.’ The lad agreed. However, when he saw the room with the great iron door, he could not resist. He opened it and stepped inside. He saw a fearsome demon who laughed at his naivety and said, ‘Now, your wife will be mine!’ The demon carried the princess away and the lad went after them. After a lot of fight, he finally managed to kill the demon with the help of his wife. They came back to the palace and opened all the rooms of the palace. They slayed the demons and lived happily ever after.

    There is room in my house. I usually keep the door closed because my dogs like to sneak into it and chew anything that they find interesting enough. The room has a balcony but we do not use it often. Everything that I don’t like or I feel is not required goes into that room. Sometimes, things that I don’t understand also go into this room because I always think that I may need them later.

    My daughter wants this room for her own. She wants to create her own space in this room and design it her way. She keeps telling me her plans and I just keep nodding my head. I don’t agree or disagree with anything my teenager says. But thankfully, my room does not have too many things at least as compared to my mother’s room of everything.

    This is not because I am a very good organizer or I like to throw clutter every now and then. In fact far from it. Instead, the reason my room is still manageable is because I have a maid who helps me to get rid of things that I don’t need. Though she dusts the house quite well, she does not like to dust most things in that room because she feels that its a waste of her effort. However, she knows that the room has to be kept clean and tidy. So, she keeps telling me to throw this or give that when she dusts the room. I cannot refute her logic or arguments because they are mostly valid. Yet, I cannot bring myself to throw most of the things in that room. So, we have devised a little charade to trick my mind. I pack up the things that I want to get rid of and put them away. If I don’t need them or remember them in the entire month, I give them away. However, I still cannot bring my self to throw away most of the things. But, I am thankful for my maid who does not let the clutter pile up into an unmanageable mess! My mother on the other hand does not let any one get into that room. The last time I sneaked into that room, I saw a huge looming mountain of clutter.

    I wish the closed rooms of our heart and mind could also be cleaned or managed as easily. The rooms where we hide all our hurts, unresolved emotions, destructive patterns and even demons mostly remain locked. We hide them with fancy doors and curtains and don’t even acknowledge their presence. The problem is that unlike this world, there, in those depths of our being, there is no one to help us understand what to keep and what to throw.

    We must do the spring cleaning ourselves and that is perhaps the most difficult feat of all!

    Thoughts!

    Old and dusty, cobwebs abound,

    The lost memories of old marriages, hurts and resentments can be found.

    The happy honeymoon and the sadness that it left behind,

    Still sometimes creep into the heart and mind.

    There must be a drainex or harpic to flush these memories away,

    For they block all the light in the room and leave a shadow gloomy and grey.

    Do you have a room like this in your house or heart? How do you manage it? Does it scare you? Do share your story with us!

  • The Past Few Months and The Void

    The Past Few Months and The Void

    I can sincerely confess that in the past few months, I have done little or no work. I have been staring into the space and whiling away time everyday. My head was like the blue sky, thoughts kept floating about like clouds but whenever I tried to make sense of a thought or write it down, it vanished without a trace.

    I remember spending my class X holidays in a similar way. But, I did read a lot in those days. I used to get lost in worlds of fantasy, mystery and magic.

    However, this time, it was different. I was lost but I don’t know where. I thought but I don’t know what I thought. My entire day passed in staring into nothingness and thinking nothing. In this time, nothing existed for me, neither the past or the present or the future. All my life, I have worked for success but now, it seemed as if there was no desire left for success or achievements or accomplishments. Questions like who was I or what was I kept floating around in my mind. Am I the mind or the body? What is my identity? People know me by my name, but am I really a name?

    During this time, I read about Mahavidya Dhumvati. She is pictured as a widow, sitting on a horseless chariot. A crow sits on the top of the chariot. Dhumvati holds a winnow in her hand which she uses to separate the grain from the chaff. Dhumvati or she who has a smoke like appearance is considered the personification of the void which swallows everything and from which everything emerges.

    For most seekers, Dhumvati is the dreamless sleep where nothing exists. She is that which emerges after all forms of identification is wiped out- the dark void which swallows everything. Perhaps, she is the black hole from which the universe emerged and by which it will be eventually swallowed. Interestingly, she is also considered the giver of siddhis or powers in the occult world.

    When we are born, our parents become our world. Slowly, we realize that we are separate from our parents. We work so hard to create our identities, our values, our world. We achieve our goals, aims and targets. Our journeys are full of challenges and we do our best to overcome those challenges.

    Slowly, as a result of these exploits, we accumulate stories of our triumphs and failures. Time and again, we narrate these stories to others and ourselves to assert our identities. We even fight wars to maintain these identities or defend them. We forget that there was a time, these stories did not exist but we existed even then in sheer bliss and joy. As children, we were always in a state of bliss because nothing really mattered and we knew the art of doing nothing.

    But, how will the world function if we do nothing? Is doing nothing not against the very doctrine of karma where we are taught to play our role to the best of our capacity without bothering about the end result?

    Dhumvati is not beyond karma. Dhumvati simply teaches us to remain in awareness of who we truly are. We are not our names or titles or accomplishments. We are beyond those. I remember a friend who was the vice president of a very big company telling me, ‘I am not the vice president but I work as the vice president.’ Similarly, we simply have donned our roles and identifications.

    Dhumvati urges us to drop all identifications and simply play the role that time demands.We are not the role. We are no-thing. We are no-one. Our true self lies beyond the object, observer boundary. We are the awareness that always is. The awareness from which the experiences emerge and to which the experiences return. We are the stage which witnesses the play of the object and the observer for the stage will remain even when the play ends and the players vanish!

    If you ever experience this stage in your life, think about what you really identify yourself with. Who you are really when you are stripped of all the identifying badges? What are you without this game of winning and losing?

  • Predictions for the New Year 2020

    Predictions for the New Year 2020

    Dear Friends,

    The internet is full of predictions for the new year. Predictions for star signs, predictions for people with names, predictions for numbers and what not. So, I decided to make some predictions too. But, these predictions are different. These predictions are not based on anything except the thoughts that I have right now. Calculate the total of your birth date and scroll down to see what 2020 has in store for you. For example if your date of birth is 22-03-1950, then the total is 22. 2+2=4

    1. People with number 1 – Life has never been as good as it is now. If you have been working hard for something, the time is right for the manifestation of your desires. This year, you will get your heart’s desire and more. Just stay focused.

    2. People with number 2 – If you can dream it, you can achieve it. Work on your dream. Everything is possible if you decide to give it all that you’ve got. Have faith. This year, miracles will happen.

    3. People with number 3 – Look at the rising sun. Your destiny resembles a rising sun this year. Everything will happen in its own time. Just keep walking towards your goal. Impossible says I am possible.

    4. People with number 4 – The world is your oyster. This world will support you in every way. Your positive frame of mind will ensure that you meet the right people at the right time to achieve your dream. Remember, there are unseen forces at work. They are there to support you in every way.

    5. People with number 5 – The airplane has taken off and the flight is smooth. There are tailwinds that support your flight and will help you reach the destination sooner than you expected. Believe in yourself and the world around you. All that you want is right here.

    6. People with number 6 – Your timing is perfect. Trust yourself to be at the right place at the right time for the realization of the dream that you’ve always had. The sun is shining brightly in the sky and all is right with the world. Serendipity will help you to succeed. Just keep your mind focused on your goal.

    7. People with number 7 – You are the best in whatever you do. Your hard work and prayers will create your reality this year. Everything will be just the way you’ve always dreamed of. Time and tide are right. The stage is set. Get ready for making it big this year.

    8. People with number 8 –  Every sweat of your brow, every prayer of your heart, every thing that you’ve ever wished for is about to come true. Life is as good as it gets. New destinations await you.You have worked hard for it and you will get truck full of bouquets of success and accolades. You are the best and you better believe that because you’ve spent years perfecting your craft. Now, it is showtime!

    9. People with number 9 – The universe is in a benevolent mood and it has chosen you for all the possible blessings and grace. So, get ready to receive all this and much more for you truly deserve every bit of happiness, love and laughter this year. The best of the best is coming your way. 

    All your dreams will come true this year. Just have the faith and keep praying. My predictions will come true for you if you believe them to be true.

    Have a fantastic and great 2020!

    With love and best wishes,

    Shailaza Singh

  • LESSONS FROM 2019- THE YEAR THAT WENT BY

    LESSONS FROM 2019- THE YEAR THAT WENT BY

    2019 has been a year of revelations for me. It has helped me to realize some hard facts and taught me some lessons for a lifetime. Some episodes were painful and even scary but then like the others they too passed.

    1. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time- I took things at face value when I met a particular person. This person was very polite, spoke very well but her actions did not complement her words. I did not pay attention to the actions. The words were laced with saccharine. I realized that later when she showed her true colours.

    2. Stop expecting from anyone– We often hope that we will find people who will help us, understand us and be with us. However, people are generally so involved in their own struggles that no one has time for anyone. As the world, we are like islands separated by the oceans of our own stories. So, don’t expect people to understand you because they are busy figuring out their own lives.

    3. Pray all the time, for everyone- We cannot control anything! We think we can control our lives but nothing is further than the truth. Miracles happen all the time but all those miracles are a result of all those small whispered prayers. Pray for everyone, even for people you don’t like because they are the ones who’ve taught you the most important lessons of your life.

    4. Mind over matter– After about 15 years, I climbed a mountain this year. It was initially very tough since I am not that fit or young anymore. But I realized that I could not give up halfway because my daughter had to understand that you must finish whatever you start. It was a slow but steady climb full of leeches, storms and rain. But in the end, all that mattered was the view from the top of the mountain.

    5. Believe in your ideas – After a lot of procrastination, I published a book this year. The book Faith-The Mystery of the Missing Girl has been appreciated by people all over India. When I was writing this book, I had a lot of doubts about what would people say because most of the book has been inspired from the events of my life. But then, people who read it, liked it. This taught me to believe in those little ideas and work on them.

    6. The unseen world rules the seen world – We think we know the world but things change overnight. This world is ruled by thoughts, emotions and forces of energy which are beyond the comprehension of the human mind. Help comes from the least-expected quarters, people turn up at the most unlikely of places and plans fail yet people succeed. There are unseen powers at work and nothing is what it seems.

    Life is an adventure, probably a game of Jumanji (only less jungle and funny animals- for some of us at least) where we face the challenges that are presented to us without any prior preparation. Yet, it is fun and exciting too. So, take life as it comes and be thankful for all the small and big blessings that come your way.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

  • The Wrapping- All That Glitters May Not Have Gold

    The Wrapping- All That Glitters May Not Have Gold

    We all love the flashy and the bling. People are drawn like flies to the glitter and glamour and for most of them it does not matter what is beneath the wrapping. 

    As I was watched the children tear open their presents for Christmas, I wondered if the joy of opening these presents would still be the same had the presents been simply wrapped in brown paper?

    The joy of tearing open the gift and discovering what is inside has become a momentary joy in today’s world. After a while, the gift becomes inconsequential like the hundreds of gifts that we get every now and then. For most of us, if the gift is not wrapped in shining paper, we feel disappointed while receiving it and may even hesitate to open it.

    Whether gifts or human beings, the case is the same. We love the stars that glitter in the sky but fail to notice those lone light houses that stand bravely in the raging storm while the stars are covered in the clouds. Not many ships may come that way but those who do come find their way home thanks to the bright shining light of that lone light house. Yet, the light house stays forgotten while the world gazes in wonder at the stars.

    Ships may have been able to chart their courses because of the north star but had it not been for the light houses they would have crashed against the rocks.

    We love admiring those famous faces that stay in the news for every little sneeze that they take but we hardly pay attention to those who are quietly making their way in the world, building their life, fighting their challenges and inspiring people around them. Not many people may know them but these people work as light houses for those who come their way. Perhaps if we were to pay more attention to these every day heroes, we would also be able to create something out of our own lives.

  • Giving In Is So Easy For Most of Us

    Giving In Is So Easy For Most of Us

    Giving in is so easy for most of us. Fighting or resisting is tough.

    Giving in is so easy. No wonder, most people remain in the wrong relationships, wrong jobs for most of their lives. They don’t want to resist or fight because fighting requires courage, fighting requires consistency, fighting requires giving up your peace of mind.

    People don’t want to fight. All they want is to go on mindlessly from one day to another, from one season to another, from one lifetime to another…as if they are sleepwalking until one day some one or some thing wakes them up from their slumber, shakes them up from their lethargy. But then, that some one who wakes these zombies up does not wake them up to fight ‘their’ fight but inspires them to fight his fight. People get fired and spend their lives living and fighting for some one else. Then, in the end they realize (sometimes) that they never lived their life.

  • What is the point of a big fat Indian wedding?

    What is the point of a big fat Indian wedding?

    Does spending all that money in a fat Indian wedding guarantee happiness for life?

    My marriage had been fixed. My prospective in-laws very categorically told my parents that whatever my parents will be giving, will be to me, their daughter. We were quite naive at the time. We thought that they didn’t want anything. But more of that later. Anyways, my parents started collecting their savings. After all, it was their daughter’s marriage.

    My marriage wasn’t a very lavish one. But then, we are a middle-class family which doesn’t have that kind of money. The relatives and friends who were invited for the wedding came with their bag and baggage. Every thing went as per the plan. However, the marriage for which so many people came, so much was done, did not last long.

    Today, as I look back, it makes me wonder why do some people spend so much on a daughter’s marriage especially on all calling and hosting relatives and friends for days or even weeks? They take out all their savings, some of them even mortgage their houses, all for a grand wedding. I know they do it for their daughter but why? What is the point?

    If the parents have kept some money aside for their daughter’s marriage, why cannot they have a small wedding and then give that money to their daughter in the form of a fixed deposit or investment so that she has something for a rainy day? In today’s day and age, where people can be equated to chameleons and relationships are so fragile, why cause so much of pollution with all that band-baaja-baarat? Why have such a big carbon footprint?

    Why not have a solemn affair which is more about the union of two souls and the blending of two families?

    I know age old customs will not die. But then, it is just a thought.

  • Of other worlds and possibilities

    Of other worlds and possibilities

    Most of us believe that time travels in a straight line. Actually, if you look at the world, life moves in a straight line, nothing can go backwards or forwards.

    However, when I started watching the famous BBC show Doctor Who, my ideas about time changed. Time can move in any direction, in any way, in any manner. Yes, most of us would argue that this is just a story or fiction. However, every story has a basis in fact.

    Here are some theories of science that are now a reality.

    Titanic- the magnificent ship that sank in its maiden voyage

    The book was written in 1898 and the ship sank in 1912. Is it just a coincidence or something?

    About travel to the moon

    Jules Verne wrote the book in the 18th century. But now, moon travel has become a reality.

    Edward Bellamy wrote about people using credit cards in the year 2000 in 1887.

    These book and more make me wonder if the time travel in Doctor Who and many other novels can indeed become a reality. Imagine if you could travel in time and space..would you grow old quickly or stay young forever? Where would you go? What would change?

    Every one talks about we being alone in the universe. Is it so? Or is some information being deliberately kept hidden from the public. How can creation be so perfect to form different species of animals so accurately? Was Noah’s arc actually a spaceship that delivered these species here?

    What do you think? Is time travel possible? Where would you like to go in time and space if given the chance? Do share your thoughts.

    Shailaza Singh